It's My Cult Film List and It Freaks Me Out!...Aug 02 '03 (Updated Aug 04 '03) Write an essay on this topic.
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The Bottom Line The hardest list I've ever had to compile, most of my favourite films are cult films, and obviously a had to leave many out.
Everyone has a different idea of what constitutes a cult film, and all I can do is give you my own personal take on the notion. Actually, this list you will find is more for underrated films (hence why "The Wicker Man", a great film, doesn't make the cut. EVERYONE loves it), it's just that they also happen to fit the bill as cult films. Also, for films that have appeared on previous lists of mine, don't expect them to necessarily be listed as high on this list. I wanted to include a few different ones on this list, films that may not be great films, but are great CULT films that deserve more recognition. 1. The Blues Brothers/Monty Python and the Holy Grail - One is the story of blues musicians raising cash and raising hell trying to save their orphanage, the other is an irreverent take on the legend of King Arthur and his not-so-brave knights of the Round Table. These are the two greatest comedies ever made, and although they're funny for different, reasons, I still want to combine the two here. You see, these are comedies that have a definite cult following of people who memorise every line, and probably perform scenes from the film in their living rooms, though it's probably not the same as the Midnight madness "Rocky Horror" seemed to inspire for years and years in cinemas everywhere. But occasionally, possibly in hushed tones, you'll come across a cry of 'Ni!', or 'We're on a Mission From God', or even the immortal 'I Fart in Your General Direction!' from John Cleese's French Taunter in "Monty Python and the Holy Grail" . The beauty of these films as cult movies is that even if many of you haven't seen these two films, their noteriety as cult classics is enough so that you are at least familiar with them, and that, my friends is why these two deserve the number one spot. They are the epitome of cult film, even if their popularity has now risen to heights some might see as exceeding those of what constitutes a cult film, but that does not fit my definition. Films that have one or two pompous little geeks giggling to themselves whilst everyone else is out of the loop, does not constitute a cult film in my view. That's blatant snobbery (And hence why I have restrained myself from throwing 'Cul-de-Sac' , 'Le Grande Bouffe' , 'Aguirre: The Wrath of God' , 'Allegro Non Troppo' , or the godawful 'Santa Sangre' just to show how clever I am. That'd be the wrong thing to do). The other reason these two films deserve the number one spot is a rather simple one; Go find any two people and ask them what they think of these films. Let me guess, one 'yay' and one resounding 'nay' for both? THAT's a cult film (as opposed to 'Battlefield Earth' which NO ONE can defend, no matter how hard Travolta tries). 2. Vampyros Lesbos/The Devil's Nightmare - I had to put at least one sleazy foreign horror film here, and couldn't split these two, so I've included both. The former comes from a cult film auteur, Jesus Franco, some call him the worst filmmaker of all-time, but given that he has well over 100 film credits to his name, some of them MUST be worth seeing, right? Well, OK, a lot of people are screaming 'HELL NO!', but I'll be there are a few of you out there who are quite fond of some of his work, and no more brilliant a Franco film is there than the 1970 psychedelic freak-out (seriously, that was the tagline!)horror masterpiece "Vampyros Lesbos" . Hell, the title itself is likely to divide audiences right away into the 'With It's' and the 'No, Way you Pervert!', a sure sign of a cult film. But 'Lesbos' is not just any cult film, it's a great one (And I have a huge cheesy grin on my face as I'm typing this, yet another sign of a cult film, in my book). Ewa Stromberg, who looks like a cross between Hammer's Veronica Carlson and Spice Girl Geri Halliwell stars as Linda Westinghouse (there's a joke here, but it's far too obvious) who attends a performance art piece/lesbian strip-act in Istanbul with her boyfriend (yeah, hang on to that one darlin', he's a reeeaaall find!) involving the alluring, late Soledad Miranda (who has hauntingly sad eyes that are simply enrapturing, she was a real loss to the film world) and a 'mannequin', that continues to haunt her even in her dreams (heh, heh). Circumstances (read: contrivances) have Linda traveling to Miranda's home (her name is Countess Carody- but it's more likely Elizabeth Bathory), unable to shake her mysterious beauty from her mind. Then things start getting naked and freaky. In a nod to Bram Stoker, we also have interesting variations on the Dr. Seward (he's one sick puppy and played by the great Dennis Price, of all people!) and Renfield (a sexy female lunatic) roles. The Countess herself professes to a companionship with Dracula himself, at one point. Some people are immediately going to be turned off by Franco's many (often lurid) indulgences, and his rough-around-the-edges filmmaking talent. Yet, these same qualities are what appeal to his many fans- the zoom-happy camera work (to the point where we see ridiculous zooms to scorpions and kites in moments of grandiose, if blatant symbolism), fetishistic sex (not that there's anything wrong with that), perverted characters (Franco himself generally tends to give himself the most horrid role, see his work in the great "She Killed in Ecstasy" , another Miranda-Franco classic where she is reunited- in EVERY sense- with Stromberg for one scene), the sitar-laced crackerjack music score (a cult favourite in and of itself), and scenes of the vampiric Countess (not that we are sure that she even IS a vampire in the most obvious sense of the word) and Linda frolicking nude on a beach in broad daylight (A great scene, but vampires in direct sunlight? Oh, but she IS wearing those huge glasses). There are as many people who love these things as there are those who do not. I personally found the film hypnotic, almost dream-like, and was utterly bewitched by Miranda, who brings a sense of loneliness, sadness, world-weariness, and yet undeniable eroticism to the part. "The Devil's Nightmare" begins in WWII where the Rhonberg family is cursed; each female family member will be born a succubus (arrrgghh, I'm having flashbacks to Marlena on "Days of Our Lives"!). Cut to present day (er...the 70s)as Scooby and the Gang (just wait 'til you see what Daphne and Velma get up to!) experience car trouble with the Mystery Van, leaving them stranded. Then a mysterious, Max Schreck look-a-like (Daniel Emilfork) directs them to the castle Rhonberg to spend a night in the castle. Not surprisingly, sexy Erika Blanc (the excellent "Kill, Baby Kill") turns up to seduce our seven travellers, who meet various fates (loosely, and I mean loosely) based on the 7 deadly sins. Cue the fat guy stuffing his face, and the two knock-out chicks having gorgeous soft-focus sex (gotta love that trashy wallpaper and oddball Alessandro Alessandroni music score too, I swear I saw the same wallpaper in "The Anderson Tapes" of all things), etc. The women are absolute stunners here, and though Blanc makes for an astounding seductress, when the Devil himself makes his presence known, it is such an oddball casting choice that it really has to be seen- and it works. A drive-in flick, to be sure, but what's wrong with that? Think of it as Scooby Doo meets "Nude For Satan" (seriously, check that one out, too!) 3. Big Trouble in Little China - 'Ol Jack Burton (Kurt Russell) didn't pique the interests of critics (including Leonard Maltin and Roger Ebert) or audiences back in '86, but now (long after the political problems the film initially faced) after an influx of HK action flicks like "A Chinese Ghost Story" (or the classic "Erotic Ghost Story" for that matter) this John Carpenter flick seems almost eerily prescient to the aforementioned Asian action craze, and has become one of Carpenter's most popular films among fans. Well, at least the fans who don't spend their days wildly overpraising "Escape From New York" or "Assault on Precinct 13" , those two films failed in my view where this one succeeds in spades...It moves...and so does its hero's facial muscles. And yet, it's Kurt Russell in two out of three of those films, but as blowhard trucker Jack Burton, the man has never been more engagingly over-macho. You see, poor Jack Burton gets involved in a whole lot of Hong Kong Phooey when accompanying a friend (Dennis Dun) to the airport to pick up his green-eyed Asian girlfriend. Being a rarity, said girlfriend is kidnapped (in a brilliantly edited sequence, I might add- and DAMN do I want those cool shades!) by nasty triads to be delivered to an ancient sorcerer (James Hong, having an absolute ball, in one of the screen's best villainous performances) who believes only a Chinese girl with green eyes can rejuvenate him. Throw in a wise but good Chinese mystic (Victor Wong, who gets the film's funniest moment when driving a tour bus, seemingly drunk as a skunk), an ever-expanding henchman (don't ask!), a plucky American reporter (Kim Cattrall, thankfully not uttering the 'C' word for once), and a Warrior funeral that soon turns into chop-socky gangland mayhem (great stuff)...basically, this movie has it all, and who CARES if it seems to be overflowing. Unlike Carpenter's previous action efforts, this one at least keeps the viewer interested with action and yes, lively acting. And like all great films, you'll be quoting it forever (My favourite lines? Hong saying 'Now this really p**ses me off to no end!' and Russell's immortal 'Son of a B*tch must pay!'. A lot of fun was presumably had making this film (ever heard the DVD commentary by Carpenter and Russell?) and a lot of that fun spills over to the audience. If you haven't already re-discovered it, and you liked "The Seventh Curse" (now THERE's a must-see film!) and "A Chinese Ghost Story" , give this one another go, it's sorely underrated, tongue-in-cheek action, ala "Commando" . 4. Barbarella - What list would be complete without it? Jane Fonda may not recall this film all that fondly, but she's never been looser or funnier than in this trippy, kinky Roger Vadim spacey psychedelic masterpiece. She plays the title 41st Century space agent sent in search of a scientist named Duran Duran (the terrifically loopy Milo O'Shea), and meets all sorts of horny oddballs along the way (My favourite being the oddly alluring bisexual Black Queen, played by Anita Pallenberg as if channeling Eartha Kitt as Catwoman). From the opening credits (especially in the uncut version where, yes, we do see booby, and booby is Good!) where Jane is stripping to the infectious theme song ('Barbarella Psychedela, there's a kinda cockle shell about yoooouuu'- Whatever the HELL that means), I was in campy 60s heaven. But I must state that this is not, and I repeat NOT a bad film (ala "The Quick and the Dead" , "Battlefield Earth" ) or a so-bad-it's-funny film (ala "Plan 9 From Outer Space" ), it's just camp, sometimes even intentionally silly, ala "Beyond the Valley of the Dolls" . I hope I've made that distinction clear, because this film, unlike most bad films, has deliberately cheesy FX, costumes and sets that for fans of this sort of thing, are really well-done. The set design in particular (dig that fur, man!) is a gaudy little treat. Don't be embarrassed, Jane (though there's certainly SOMETHING in your career to forget), this is one of the most entertaining films you never have to think too hard about. 5. Hush...Hush, Sweet Charlotte - Feisty old Bette Davis (having a high old time screaming like a banshee) seems to be going nuttier and nuttier by the second, but is she truly mad, or simply being driven mad, as past tragedies seem to be coming back to haunt her? A top-notch Robert Aldrich Southern Gothic melodrama, with Joseph Cotten in particularly fine form, oozing oily charm and even warbling the title tune briefly (but VERY memorably). Campy as hell, and that's the way I like 'em. Startling supporting turn by usually virginal-to-the-point-of-sickness Olivia De Havilland (as Bette's estranged cousin come to visit, I tend to love anything Ms. De Havilland does) and early roles for scenery-chewers Bruce Dern and George Kennedy (what campfest would be complete without him?). Quite violent for its time, it's heads and shoulders above "What Ever Happened to Baby Jane?" and features stunning B&W cinematography by Joseph Biroc. 6. Ladyhawke - One for the Rutger Hauer fans, forget the Alan Parsons Project travesty of a musical score (was Jerry Goldsmith really that busy?), this is an otherwise sweeping romantic sword and sorcery epic that is thoroughly enchanting. Gorgeous to look at thanks to cinematographer Vittorio Storaro. Rutger Hauer is absolutely perfectly cast in this Medieval fantasy where a young thief (Broderick) helps warrior Hauer and his love (Michelle Pfeiffer) break a horrid curse that has Pfeiffer turn into a hawk at Sunrise and Hauer a wolf at Sunset. Never shall they meet in human form (I'm certain that "Shrek" did a parody of it, but it's never mentioned in anything I've read). It's classic romantic fantasy stuff, and undeniably moving (there's some startling imagery, though one or two FX shots have dated). Even Michelle Pfeiffer is radiant here, though the jury's still out on Matthew Broderick who comes off as a cross between an overly eager D&D fan and an extra in a Woody Allen film. Excellent role for Leo McKern to as a guilt-ridden, drunk priest. This is one of the few films of its type that works. Like "The Beastmaster" (No, I'm not on crack) it manages to tell a sweeping fantasy story from a dark time without becoming too dark or brooding, ala "Conan the Barbarian" . But damn if that music score doesn't annoy the crap out of me. 7. Beyond the Valley of the Dolls - Admittedly I'm getting sick of writing about this one (check my other lists), but it HAS to be on this list. Firstly the back-story- A major studio in financial strife (20th Century Fox) hires a softcore filmmaker (Russ 'I Like Big Boobs and I Cannot Lie' Meyer) and an inexperienced critic/screenwriter (Roger 'I Liked Anaconda but hated Battle Beyond the Stars' Ebert) to make a film for them. Inspired, though only barely, by the 1960s film "Valley of the Dolls" (though not the Sussan book, which neither had read) they decided to make a film about a trio of girls who try and make it in show business and are exposed to all the excesses and temptations that may or may not be their downfalls. And then they just went plain nuts with that basic idea. We've got freak-outs, porn stars, gigolos, Nazis, hermaphrodites, big boobs, lesbians (woo-hoo!), drug-induced orgies, paraplegics, big boobs, Muhammad Ali clones, a gratuitous appearance by Charles Napier, big boobs, a quadruple murder, a triple wedding, an epilogue, cheesy voice-over narration, and the freakiest editing style you've ever seen. There's only one "Beyond the Valley of the Dolls" , and it's indescribable. Just see it! 8. Truck Turner - Heh, heh. What a surprise, eh? It was either this or "Shaft" , and well, I couldn't help myself, but I DO love both. Musician-actor Isaac 'Damn Right!' Hayes stars as the title skip-tracer (bounty hunter) a so-called 'Bulldog with eyes up his a*s', the most imposing blaxploitation hero ever (and don't we know it, the film has one of those "Cape Fear" moments when Hayes walks right into the camera, as if he's about to open a huge can of whupa*s on us, and don't get me started on that scene where he throws a guy out the window, hilariously). The film has many cast and crew from the also enjoyable "Black Belt Jones" , as the film adopts a similar light-hearted tone, and the cast is just superlative for this sort of thing. Yaphet Kotto is terrific as crime boss Harvard Blue (his final scene is very memorable and well-shot), the inimitable Scatman Crothers has a walk-on as a retired pimp, Nichelle Nichols is truly astounding as a foul-mouthed madam (wait for her monologue about selling herself, Uhura fans, prepare to be shocked!), and Alan Weeks is good as Truck's nervy partner. Hayes is the star, though, combining an imposing physical presence with a soft-hearted, slob characterisation (he even has a cat named Francis). He's also very funny in his scenes with long-suffering girlfriend Annazette Chase (watch what he does when he needs to keep her somewhere safe. Classic stuff). The soundtrack isn't as soulful as "Shaft" , but it's damn funky. Great car chase too. 9. House of Wax - Vincent Price is at his Virginia Ham best here in this, the only 3-D film to be truly worthwhile (though I still say "Friday the 13th 3-D" and "Amityville 3-D" are among the best in their respective series). He plays a vengeful, disfigured sculptor whose exhibits look oh-so life-like. Carolyn 'Creepy and Kooky' Jones and some guy named Charles Buchinsky also have memorable parts. It's as silly as they come, but Price always gave it 110%, and I defy anyone to listen to his mellifluous voice and not get enjoyably creeped-out. His Prof. Henry Jarrod is a truly memorable horror movie villain. Also worth a look are "House on Haunted Hill" (not the awful remake, though Rush and- surprise, surprise- Chris Kattan were funny), "The Mad Magician" (essentially a remake of "Wax" ), "Theatre of Blood" (worth it for the indelible Robert Morley and Harry Andrews alone), and the numerous Roger Corman Poe-inspired films. 10. Little Shop of Horrors (1960)/A Bucket of Blood - Two of the cheapest films ever made, they also best represent the Roger Corman school of filmmaking, in that they also happen to be very well-done for cheapies. The former is a very dark comedy about a man-eating plant (and Dick Miller a man who eats flowers, for that matter), featuring a nutty nebbish turn by Jonathan Haze (the mangling of Jewish terminology is hysterically funny), a bombastic one by Mel Welles, and a hands-down hilarious, truly insane cameo by a young Jack Nicholson (check out "Hell's Angels on Wheels" while you're at it, much better than the pretentious "Easy Rider") as a sicko dental patient who's a pain freak (his cries of 'Don't Stop Nooooowwwwww!' will have you roaring with laughter). Also worth a mention is Haze's hysterically funny hypochondriac mother (Myrtle Vail) and the truly whacked voice work on the plant by Charles B. Griffith who wrote this weirdo classic. And it was shot (on a dare) in around two days! "Bucket" , then is like a mixture of "Little Shop" (though made before) and "House of Wax" . Only darker and weirder, and with an hilarious beatnik flavour. It gives cult actor Dick Miller the role of his career as meek busboy Walter Paisley, longing to be accepted by the pompous beatnik crowd. When he accidentally kills a cat whilst fiddling around with some clay, his 'work' is immediately taken for true artistry and embraced by the seriously pompous beatnik guru Julian Barton (in a tremendously silly performance, his monologues are a real hoot). So Walter continues to kill...er...make 'art', but for how long? Once again, written by Charles B. Griffith, this is a must for fans of black comedy. Also Underrated: Commando Three Amigos! History of the World Pt. 1 ('Please Step with the SAME foot at the same TIME!') Battle Beyond the Stars (oh-so close to making the list, but with two other Corman films already on the list...), El Cid The Vikings Cat People (1942) Naked Killer (The Director's Cut) Destroy All Monsters! (THE monster movie, bar none!) Cult Films I Just Don't Get: Blade Runner (Wow, it's like Post-modern, man! Whatever) Eraserhead (Still gives me nightmares, and not in a GOOD way) Raising Arizona The Quick and the Dead (Intentionally funny, eh, Mr. Crowe? Yeah, sure...keep deluding yourself, buddy).  |
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