Seven Days: A Ring Story: A Happy Ending
Aug 03 '03
The Bottom Line Well, this is the ending where En and his followers are destroyed, and everybody's happy. Bill and Ted make a cameo.
Zebu Black stood still on the cave ground. He had minutes left before his deadline, and he was the only strand keeping the sorcerer online. His ex-companions, Schleppy, Mai, Lani, and Chris kept him from freeing Masami and Kaoru, which would clear the way for the sorcerer. Sadako and Samara smirked. He had only a few minutes left- this time, they wanted to play by the rules.
“It’s the adventurer’s deadline,” said Sadako. “I’ll be right back.”
She began to fade, but something destracted her. There was a faint screaming from above them.
“Whoooooooooooooooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!”
A telephone booth fell through the roof of the cave, carving a huge hole. Everybody stopped what they were doing to look at it.
Suddenly, two boys jumped out, about 18 years old. One of them was wearing a shirt that looked about five sizes too small, with a hat reading “Wild Stallyns.” The other looked oddly like Neo from The Matrix, except with longer hair and no black clothes.
“That was a most excellent rush, Bill!” said the one who looked like Neo.
“I know, Ted- but I thought this one would be much easier,” said the other one, whom one could assume was Bill.
“I know,” said Ted. “We only need one historical figure this time, but we’ve been going at this for eight hours, and no luck!”
“We should’ve picked something a little wider than Japanese History this year.”
“Well, how were we supposed to know Godzilla wasn’t a historic figure?”
The two kids did an air guitar. If one could see Sadako’s face, they would’ve seen a major sweat-drop.
“I don’t know, Ted, but I’m willing to get any historical Japanese people, so long as he doesn’t have one of those long curvy swords.”
“But Bill, we’re in the Not-Too-Distant Future right now. How’re we supposed to find somebody here?”
“I don’t know, but we don’t have enough time to search wildly.”
“Well, we’ll just have to ask.”
Ted turned to everybody, and stopped. “Whoa. This is one freaky party.”
Bill shook his head. “Are their any figures of any major significance to the history of Japan?”
Zebu pointed to En with his sword. Bill jumped. “That guy right there- his name is En No Odzunu, he’s from the 13th century, and he used demons to build a bridge.”
“Let’s bag him,” said Ted. The two of them pushed En into the booth, and disappeared in it. Sadako shook her head, and disappeared. Samara Morgan was too dumbfounded to blink.
Masami and Kaoru ran away from their spot in the pool. Just as Sadako was righting herself, facing Zebu, the booth reappeared. Yammamura Sadako whirled around, exasperated.
“Catch ya later, evil statue dude!” said Bill and Ted, as they disappeared again. En waved good bye, laughing, and carrying a pennant with the words “I Love San Dimas” written on it. He turned around to see the Sorcerer charged up.
That night, in the city of Sakakaji in Oshima, people staying at the Yammamura Inn woke up and could not fall back asleep.
---
Schleppy blinked. “What just happened?”
Zebu laughed. “Have you ever seen Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure?” He explained what had just happened to the gang.
“Actually,” Chris said, “Considering what’s been going on lately, these latest developments don’t surprise me all that much.”
Zebu laughed.
“Well, I believe it’s all over now,” said a voice behind them.
“Professor!” said Mai, glad to see Ryuji once again alive.
“Alright,” said Suzuki. “I don’t know how Keanu Reeves and Alex Winters saved the day, and I don’t really quite want to.”
“Come on, it’s sunrise,” said Lani. “We’ve got to get going pretty soon, if we want to actually enjoy our time in Japan.”
“I’d have to call Yoichi,” said Mai. “He probably knows that it happened by now, but I’m sure he needs some sort of explanation.”
“I think his mother would be just as confused,” said Ryuji. “She’s probably back, too.”
“Let’s see,” said Suzuki. “Tomoko, Kanae, Reiko’s father…”
“Let’s just get to the ones you guys know,” said Schleppy.
---
About a week later, everybody was at the airport- the gang, along with Reiko, Yoichi, Mr. Asakawa, Tomoko, her friends, and Kanae. Schleppy and Mai were giving each other a good-bye kiss- they might not be seeing each other for a while. Ryuji and Reiko were talking happily with one another, something they hadn’t been able to do since the divorce. Yoichi was playing with his grandfather, and Kanae was hanging out with the other teenagers.
Ryuji walked up to Chris. “Listen. I was in Ringworld a long time. I know a fair few people from America who’ll need to be updated. Half of them should seem familiar to you, even if you’ve never met them.” He handed Chris a list of names.
“Flight 212 to Los Angeles is now boarding.”
“That’s our flight,” said Lani. “Come on, Schleppy.”
Schleppy looked at Mai for a while. “No.”
“What do you mean, ‘No?’” asked Zebu.
“I’m staying here. I’m going to stay with Mai.”
Chris walked up to him. “Are you sure about this, Schleppy?” He nodded. Chris smiled.
“Well, keep in touch then,” said Zebu.
“Don’t worry about that,” said Schleppy. “Just try and visit some time.” They all said their good-byes, and Lani, Chris, and Zebu boarded their flight.
---
At LAX in California, Zebu was examining the Ring book again, now that no evil could come of it. Lani and Chris were hugging, still amazed that this whole thing could be over. They stood outside, waiting for their taxi.
“My aunt will be so happy to see me home,” said Lani.
“Don’t count on it,” replied Zebu with a smirk. “You’ll have somebody else there to greet you.”
Lani at first didn’t understand, but then a tear came to her eye. She pulled out the picture of her mother from her pocket, and laughed. There she was, her face as pure as she remembered it being in life.
THE END
Transvamp played: Mai, Suzuki, Masami, Kaoru, The Vegetable
Rapist, Lindsey the Bag Lady, and Tomoko
Schleppy played: Schleppy, Ryuji, Noah, Sadako, and Samara
The Zebu played: Zebu Black
I Am Samara played: Lani
GhostRing played: Chris
ChaosVirus666God played Miya
Toru xxx played Matt the Hermaphroditic Delivery Boy
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Location: Anaheim, CA, USA
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