The Best Movies Of 1999! Maybe. Sort of.
Aug 22 '03 (Updated Sep 01 '03)
The Bottom Line errr... my favorite movies from '99?
1999 was truly an odd year, filmwise. Mainly, it was odd in that it was really horrible. Accustomed as I am to the fact that the vast majority of movies are completely useless, I was still surprised at how little there was to love about 1999's offerings. Pick a year at random, and force me to make a list of the ten best, and you’re very likely to send my mind reeling. I hate the idea of such lists to begin with, but generally there are about twenty movies jockeying for position, and I never really know how to choose among them. I’ll get four or five that I can immediately say deserve to be in the top ten, but after that I’m lost.
1999 did have some movies I enjoyed certainly, but when I started the first phase of creating this list, the pickings were slim. It was a year so slim, in fact, that I’ve cheated with at least one movie on my list.
I should also note that just as with virtually every list I try and create, there are five movies from 1999 that I never have gotten around to, and I am set to view them all in the very near future. Thus, the list might be updated. This time around, however, I’m not going to say what they are. I will say that two of them are foreign, and there is only one that I really hold out any hope for.
Before we get to the top ten itself, and some ‘didn’t quite make it’s, let’s look at some movies that aren’t on this list, so we can avoid all the “What about X?” comments.
Magnolia
You know, I didn’t hate it. It just didn’t work for me. I didn’t think it was bad exactly, it just didn’t make it all the way good. I appreciated much about it, but it just didn’t come together for me.
The Blair Witch Project
This is, without question, one of the stupidest movies I’ve ever seen, and I see a lot of movies. I have to admit that I’m not exactly a fan of horror, but this thing takes the cake even when only compared to stupid horror movies (not just horror movies, mind you). I’m all for somewhat stupid people in a horror movie, because if anyone was bright enough to follow a river out of the woods (or, let’s say, leave any house that tells you itself to leave) we’d never have any horror movies, but when all I can do throughout the movie is wish to God that someone would get busy and whack these morons I’m being forced to watch, something’s gone wrong. There was a semi-interesting idea at work, what with the alleged ‘home movie’ feel (actually creating purpose out of saving on budget), but frankly, it wasn’t even the scariest home movie I’ve ever seen.
Being John Malkovich
The best thing I can say here is that it was actually John Malkovich involved. I like him. I also like John Cusack, and he got paid, so there’s that as well. Other than that the movie is complete garbage. It isn’t even so much an attempt at a movie as it is an attempt at creating some fad interest among cinema-elitists, merely by creating the screwballiest idea possible, and doing the level best to pass it off as ‘artsy’. A perfect example of the old adage, ‘there is less going on here than meets the eye’.
The Talented Mr. Ripley
Not a bad movie exactly, but incredibly overhyped. The performances were mainly above par, but it’s not that interesting to begin with, and I liked the first version better.
Eyes Wide Shut
Sadly, this is just a complete misfire. Hopeless acting. Hopeless story. If not for being able to turn the sound off and appreciate the visual style, it would be completely worthless.
Cider House Rules
Again, not bad, just generally overrated. A decent movie. Nothing horrible about it. Pretty good actually, just not at all worthy of the ten best.
Now, possibly the two ‘biggies’ of the ‘not on the list’ group.
American Beauty
Nope. Just, no. Decent enough movie. Liked it well enough. Enjoyed it. Not anything like Best Picture, or even top ten. Solid, average, fairly interesting movie, but that’s all.
Fight Club
If one more person tells me this movie “changed my life”, or any similarly ridiculous garbage, I... well, I suspect I may do myself an injury. This is a very well crafted movie, and I don’t think there is a lot of room for debate there. That does not, however, negate the fact that it is a really stupid movie. For simplicity, I’m going to borrow something here... Dan Fienberg said in his top movies of '99 list that ‘Fight Club’ (paraphrasing from memory)
“...provides nothing more than glibbly superficial observations on our society’s decline, that somehow people have taken as original thought...”
and
“...like Ayn Rand’s ‘The Fountainhead’ it basically provides a sort of intellectual, socio-cultural masturbation without any productive thought”
Amen.
‘Fight Club’ is the worst, most embarrassing, piece of self-important, deluded trash to come down the pike since ‘The Matrix: Reloaded’ (well, time being my plaything). ‘Fight Club’ is the movie equivalent of a bunch of people sitting around at a party talking, when one of them (new to books apparently) decides to chime in with some piece of information they’ve just learned, and does so in such a way as to suggest that it’s the most interesting thing ever, and they invented the idea. Meanwhile, of course, everyone else is looking uncomfortably around at everyone else in the group, trying not to laugh at the boob revisiting their early days of high-school.
If you weren’t well-versed in everything ‘Fight Club’ had to say long before viewing it, well, there’s no problem there of course (and good luck on your driver’s licence test), but you oughtn’t project anything positive onto the movie just because it was the first thing that got around to giving you hopelessly superficial, depthless commentary that everyone was massively bored with when it first came around... literally, ages ago.
Okay, for those who haven’t gone to the cupboard for their poison pens, and are still with me, let’s look at some movies that were close, or are just worth mentioning as pretty good, even if they aren’t worthy of even being close. As I said, not that great a year.
Office Space
It has its moments, and overall it’s pretty enjoyable, but it lacks polish, and is inferior to its predecessor ‘Clockwatchers’, which is ultimately the same movie. ‘Office Space’s chief claim to fame, Milton, is indeed a simple reworking/further exaggeration of a character in ‘Clockwatchers’.
The 13th Warrior
Whether you’re focusing on the fact that this is from a Michael Crichton novel, or that it was directed by John McTiernan, this is the movie from either man you’re least likely to have heard of, and it approaches being the biggest failure for either (and Crichton’s got ‘Congo’ on his list). Leaving aside one or two movies from each man’s resume, it’s also approaching the best film they’ve got. Perhaps it was the low expectations, but this one was a welcome surprise.
Sleepy Hollow
Eh. I didn’t really love it, but it was pretty fun, and Depp is just fun to watch no matter what he does. It’s worth watching of a potentially spooky evening.
October Sky
A well thought out presentation of its story, that manages to avoid becoming an After School Special. Nothing particularly great, but a solid piece of entertainment.
Bicentennial Man
Hey, you know what? Make your own list. I liked it. Yeah, it was too long, and too sappy. Sue me. It’s not exactly wonderful, and you probably won’t need to watch it again for any reason, but it’s worth checking out.
Mumford
I had fun. That’s about all I can say for the thing really. It’s a fun movie.
Sweet and Lowdown
This is the first Woody Allen movie I’ve enjoyed at all in just ages. Sean Penn is excellent, and it’s a screwy little story. A worthwhile investment of your time, even if it does have some faults.
Mystery, Alaska
Here’s a movie that has enjoyed a bizarre bit of backlash in the last couple of years. As though the thing was trying to shove over ‘Kane’, instead of trying to just be a bit of fun.
The Straight Story
A movie that you don’t dare mention who it’s directed by to the wrong person, lest they know who he is, and become supremely thrown. An incredibly impressive movie, this is the one closest to being on the list without actually getting there.
And, here we go!
10. Ravenous
I’ll say it, I just love this movie. If we could get David Arquette out of it (and everything else), it’d be all the better, but we’re stuck with him. Robert Carlyle and Guy Pearce are excellent, and Jeffrey Jones delivers a perfect serious vs. camp balancing act as only he can. It’s a movie about cannibalism, and it teeters on the edge of silliness, but it’s a great package. It pulls strong performances out of its cast, and it knows just what it is.
9.Plunkett & Macleane
I know.
I’m as surprised as you are. But, I liked it. It was fun and slick, and didn’t try to pretend to be anything else. It was bizarre, outlandish, and had a wicked cool soundtrack. It had a lot of problems, but at the end I had a good time. And, before you start calling me a Robert Carlyle fanboy, it gets worse.
8. Angela’s Ashes
Here he is again. Simply an impressive movie, and a remarkable translation to film.
7.The Iron Giant
A great children’s movie, and one that doesn’t talk down to its audience. The only negative is that more people didn’t bother with it in theaters (and the absence of Robert Carlyle).
6. The Sixth Sense
This is about how much attention I pay to ordering these things. Another recipient of loads of backlash, I’m unimpressed with how hip and cool it is to say you don’t like this now. (Just like I’m unimpressed with the fact that you now say you never liked ‘Titanic’, because I saw you go in eight times, and I’m going to giggle at you.) Come on now, it was pretty good. No one’s going to make fun of you just because all the cool kids say they don’t like it. Have you seen 1999?
5. The Matrix
I know.
But, it really was pretty good. Despite the fact that the thing could get on just about any list just based on its unrelenting cultural invasion alone, it actually is good. As someone said of Shakespeare, it really is good, despite all the people who say it’s good. On the other hand, it’s good for what it is, not for the ‘best movie in the universe, dude!’ thing some folks try to turn it into.
4. Election
I’m not sure how this one gets up so high myself. I really like it, but I still have slightly mixed feelings about it.
3. Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels
Here’s where you may notice that I’m cheating. The movie came out in '98, but, well, that was ‘elsewhere’. It didn’t come out until '99 here, and this movie is all about '99 to me. Hilarious, dare I say, zany, movie by Guy Ritchie that I could watch once a month. That’s actually a major compliment for me.
2. The Jack Bull
This is a movie that is even sans theatrical release. I guess that’s what it’s come to. This HBO pictures movie starring John Cusack is so good I can hardly believe they didn’t opt for a try at theaters once they saw their end result. It does not have what you would call a ‘theatrically friendly’ ending, which is, of course, part of what makes it great.
1.Croupier
And, now I’m not even being consistent, though I believe that is my right. See, this one actually came out in 2000 here, but in '99 ‘elsewhere’. But, I want this movie to count, so there you go. As I said before, time is my plaything, and it’s my bloody list. A bizarre beating of film-noir-ish ideas into some new form. That’s actually something several movies have done in recent years, and coupled with this one, a new sub-genre may be emerging, but this one is the primer on how to do it. It's mad, bad, and hard to get a hold of, but a great movie.
So, that’s it.
By the way, this has been on my computer for almost six months, and even though certain things will spur you into action at certain times, no one named Chris should see this as a direct response to their own list.
Cheers.
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Member: Marc Eastman
Location: Bangor,ME
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Evangeline Sylvan Betty Eastman. AKA "Cricket" 9/12/06
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