SusiDee goes to Stockholders house for a drink
Aug 23 '03 (Updated Sep 02 '03)
The Bottom Line Vodkaboy is a sick twist
In an attempt to revive [insert lure] the self-exiled Stockholder back to Epinions, I offered him out for food, drinks and ..... who knows? However, Stockholder is determined to stay true to his promise to spend the remainder of the summer vacation with his grandson, so we agreed to meet at his apartment. Uh oh .......
Hi Stock, or should I call you Mr. Holder? Thanks for inviting me over to tip back a few and grab a bite. Everyone has wondered what happened to you, since you virtually disappeared after the sorrowful article about Sordid. In fact, many wonder if you are really Sordid in disguise. What say you?
~stockholder looks over his shoulder at me in disgust. He is immersed in a rowdy game of The Sims with his grandson and won't be bothered with my banal conversation. I'll just go in the kitchen and fix myself a stiff one. Better than the stiff one I see ...... oops, never mind.
Gee, that went well Stock, any other brilliant comments you would like to make? Hey, where do you keep your glasses anyway?
~Stock throws a dirty sock at me from the living room floor, it lands next to a box under the kitchen table, where I find glasses. Dirty glasses to be sure, but they are glasses. Well to call them glasses would be a compliment, they are plastic cups from various fast food restaurants, some still have the cover intact with the straw - ugh!
So, Stock, want to tell me about this little place you have here? Really, I don't care, but it was a required question I think.
~mumbling through a mouth of popcorn stock tells me to look around on my own and not bother him. So - it's a step up from an efficiency apartment in the fact that the bedroom is actually separate from the living area. There is a broken down couch that goodwill would refuse, a 52" TV, two TV trays shoved together for a coffee table, one floor lamp. card table with one folding chair rounds out the eating area although from the looks of the table, food has never graced the top - thank heavens.
The dishes are piled, crusted with dried Long John Silvers leavings, and oddly enough a can of FDS feminine hygiene spray is next to the sink. I don't want to know. The bedroom, from the quick look I took, was typical male 'I ain't picking nuthin up in this lifetime' and I am still disinfecting myself after peeking into the bathroom.
Hey Stock, since I've located the glasses [ha ha, cute joke] can I fix ya a frosty beverage? What's yur poison?
~Stock farts, belches and rubs his nether regions then throws an empty Strohs can at me. Guess that means he wants another Strohs.
In your honor Stock, I stopped by White Castle and brought you a bag of sliders, want some now? [frankly I just wanted to get them out of the way, the smell was making me sick - at least I think it was the White Castles]
~Stock grabs them from me, wolfing them down in one bite each. Oh well, they ARE White Castles, that is possible.
I noticed you were interested in having your deadbeat son-in-law offed. What are you offering? I know people
~shooting me a meaningful look and jerking his head at the kid, I realize - damn, I might have spoken out of turn. But Stock gives me a wink and I know we’ll be discussing that issue later.
Another required question here, do you flirt? Don't consider that an invitation or anything, I'm required to ask.
~Stock gives me a sidelong glace, his upper lip curled, and I suddenly feel like I need a bath. But certainly not HERE! He gets up off the floor and starts saying something to me but I'm having trouble understanding him since I have put my head in the oven and turned on the gas. I do notice, however, that the grandson has fallen asleep and begin to wonder just what the hell I'm doing here. I don't even know Vodkaboy, I really don't owe him anything - what the hell am I doing here????
Suddenly I realize I haven’t had nearly enough to drink in order for me to hang around. Stock is coming closer and has that lecherous gleam in his eye [the good one]. His baggy sweatpants are tented and he is practically rubbing his hands together in anticipation.
He reaches out, touching my arm. beads of sweat cover his upper lip, his hands are clammy and moist and he is breathing much too rapidly. First I'm afraid he is going to have a heart attack, then I'm afraid he isn't. I picture myself as a large roasted turkey on a platter before a group of starving men. He pulls me to him and as I gasp in surprise, the damn alarm clock goes off and I wake up.
Well, hell, I thought, it was just a dream. Damn that Vodkaboy.
Thanks,
Susi
p.s. I really have invited Stockholder, but family restraints have kept him away [imagine - Stockholder and restraints....hmmmmmm]. Thought I'd just have a bit of fun. You can join up by GOING HERE
Oh dear, I meant family constraints - not restraints - then again, it's Stockholder.
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Epinions.com ID:
susidee34
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 in Home and Garden |
 - Top 200 |
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Member: SusiDee
Location: Gastonia NC
Reviews written: 1544
Trusted by: 485 members
About Me:
It's easier to build a child than repair an adult
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