Champagne in the Park with Toospoiled (have a drink W/O)Sep 01 '03 Write an essay on this topic.
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One day in June, after I had posted a couple of new eps, I noticed that someone called "toospoiled" had added me to their WOT. I visited her profile page and read her "20 things about me" W/O entry and thought what an interesting and delightful person she is. So having started this W/O, where we "invite someone for a drink" and find out more about them, I decided invite toospoiled. Not least, because I wanted to know where she got this nickname from! So this was our "evening": ========================================== So, here we are; you chose the place that we would meet for a drink, so tell us where we are, what this place is like, and why this place is special to you. There is a little park in the Washington, DC area, where you can see some of the monuments and the city in the distance. It's the ultimate people watching spot complete with a bike trail and beautiful trees dotting the landscape overlooking the Potomac. This place is special to me because someone very dear took me here once, not too long ago. I brought a blanket and a picnic basket full of finger foods for us ... get comfortable Honey, I am in a talkative mood! See, isn't it beautiful here? It's an oasis in the big city. Wow it is lovely. It'll be really beautiful at sunset I guess. Oh my word, my manners, I am so sorry. What would you like to drink? Strawberry daiquiri? Margarita? Or shall we have a champagne? My dear Dougie, I think tonight we shall celebrate with a bottle of bubbly. You are so thoughtful...look, you brought all three! Since you're buying and you brought, I think that bottle of Dom Perignon has my name on it. Only problem though, champagne makes me a little more than tipsy ... if you get my drift...meow! Phew, I'm glad you went for the champagne, as I don't think my strawberry daiquiri mix was very good! OK, now we are sitting comfortably. We are? OK, let me get this me get this rock out of my...OK, hold on, that's better. That better? OK. So, you've just moved house. How has that gone, probably a bit fraught and frantic? You moved to somewhere nice I hope? Well, I did move somewhere nice, I think. At least I really like the town that I have moved to. I moved outside of the hustle and bustle of the DC area to a small town in Virginia. However, I find myself having to drive back up in the horrible DC traffic almost everyday, anyway. Well, I tried to get away from the craziness, but looks like it's unavoidable. Actually, the move was one of the most traumatic experiences of my life. Even living a military lifestyle for so many years and having moved several times all over the world, this move, that was less than 50 miles away, ended up being the hardest ever. Mainly because of the troubles my soon-to-be ex-husband caused with the whole move. He worked it out perfectly so I had to not only find a place to live, but be completely moved out of my home in less than a three week period. It was awful...it was extremely stressful...but I did it and I did it without any help. I am woman, hear me roar! You really don't realize how strong you are until you have to go through something like this. My kids and my need to prove to myself that I could do it all, motivated me enough to get this done. Wow, a tough time. But you've come through it, that's the first impression I got of you, reading what you've written, is that you are determined and a survivor. Thanks Dougie. I appreciate that. It's just you have to do what you have to do sometimes whether you like it or not. You've been rather quiet on epinions for a few months, since April. What's kept you from posting? Just the move? Well, the move was stressful enough, but I am also going through a divorce, looking for a job, getting my kids in and out of school too. I also went road trippin' down to Florida back in July and almost ended up moving back down there again, but decided that my heart is in Virginia right now and it will be my home for awhile. Also, I have been dating a lot. I have had a few very intense relationships as some of you Epinionators know, and they took up a lot of time. I've also had some really horrible dates too. My tell-all book will be out shortly! You've had quite a diverse education! Modeling school... opticianry ... marketing and management. Are you planning to open your own optician shop and model for all the contact lenses? LOL. More seriously, those are all very different. What attracts you to each of these? Yes, these are very diverse and different things aren't they? Well, my first modeling job was when I was 5 years old and I was even demanding back then. I still didn't get my way, I wanted to model dresses like all the other girls, but they made me model shorts. I was so mad!!! I was always thin and everyone said that I should model. I actually got a scholarship to modeling school and thought, why not? Well, I was too short for the runway and I never finished modeling school because I never really saw it going anywhere and then I got pregnant so... I went back to real college and wanted to get a degree in broadcast journalism but switched to a marketing and management degree. I dropped out of college for awhile, not by choice, but because my fundage stopped coming in after my wicked stepmother found out that my dad was paying for my college, my apartment, my new car and giving me spending money and it was cutting into her shopping spree money, so I had to go to work and this is where I started selling eyeglasses. I got interested in the whole business and went back to college and became an optician. It's been so long since then and I don't remember a whole lot about my education as an optician. I never got a job as an optician, moving around so much and being married to a military guy, it just never seemed to work out. You also said you do freelance writing. What writing do you do? This is funny, I was referring to my writing on Epinions when I said freelance writing, but I am writing a book...really! Actually, I have two books in the works and hope that maybe one of them might be my big break! Any publisher's out there? Hey that would be great, another epinionator book! Good luck with that! Thanks, yes maybe you can review my book once it makes it to Epinions! You say you always wear black. Why is that? Oh, because black is always stylish and appropriate ... well, maybe not at a wedding!!! Well, come to think of it, black would have been what I should have worn to my last wedding! Dougie, I know you men don't have to worry about this, but black is a very slimming color. Who says men don't have to worry about it? I wish! LOL I have been expanding my wardrobe lately and I have added a lot of different colors now... I am now wearing, blue, brown, red, purple. pink, white and beige. Congratulate me for coming out of my shell. Maybe it was a bad period during my marriage that caused me to wear black all the time ... yes, we'll call it the "Dark Ages!" I have come out of the Dark Ages now and have colored my world. I feel like I am in that part of the "Wizard of Oz" where the movie goes from black and white to color! Congratulations on emerging from the shell! So how did you choose the name "too spoiled" as your epinion name? It's not really a flattering name, LOL! Well, no, it's not very flattering, is it? I actually wanted Spoiled Rotten but it was already taken. Actually, "Too Spoiled" was one of my nicknames in high school. Some people always thought that I was spoiled and had everything and they would just say "you are too spoiled!" Hence, how I got the name! It's written all over my yearbook, "Too Spoiled". That's actually one of the nicknames that I had that I can actually say without getting censored on here! Actually, my nicknames are Angel and Princess and I like those much better. Your music tastes are quite varied, 80s, classic rock, country, jazz. That is sure diverse! Who would you say are your favorite artists? Well, I do have a pretty diverse taste in music. I really love a lot of the older classic rock songs from the 70's and 80's, that's the music shaped my childhood. I love the Eagles, Clapton, Kiss, AC/DC, Aerosmith, Stones, among others. I love Miles Davis, Andrea Bocelli, Enrique Iglesias. I do like country music too. Really, I can listen to any kind of music as long as it is good! You say you love to sing, and dreamed of being a rock star! You've sang in choirs; ever sang jazz or rock in front of an audience? Well, if you consider singing in Karaoke bars singing rock songs in front of an audience, then yes. I have sung in church choirs and on the Praise and Worship teams at church. I had a few solos in school as part of school productions and plays, so I have done my share of singing in front of an audience. I still get very nervous when I do it though. Sometimes I need a shot of courage to do it. Pass the Dom, Dougie and I'll sing a few bars for you, any requests? How's that drink doing, ready for another one yet? Same again or something different? You can order up another bottle of Dom ... there will be no mixing tonight, plus the effects of the champagne are starting to kick in...just throw some water on me if I get a little too silly, Dougie! I Don't think I brought water ... and I wouldn't want to throw champagne, better to drink it! I agree! Let's not waste a single drop! In fact, do you want to stay here or go on to another bar? Maybe a jazz pub or a rock club -- might we get you to sing? (grin) Dougie, you are so cute ... keep refilling this champagne glass and you can take me anywhere. Promise me one thing though, if I start singing and dancing on tabletops and wearing lampshades on my head that you will drag me out of there...no pictures either...PLEASE! OK I promise! But ... is this something you do often? I would love to see that! LOL. I'll never tell! I was a party animal in a former life! I've burned all the evidence, so... Karen, You said once that when you were young everyone had very high expectations of you, you couldn't live up to them and you burned out. Yes, as a child, I had a lot of expectations put on me, mainly from my family. I was the oldest child and oldest grandchild. I guess everyone wanted me be able to do everything and not only do it well, but be the best at it. I was expected to bring home straight A's, do volunteer work, participate in sports, student government, church and other extracurricular activities, all while having to hold down a job too. It was just too much pressure. I was trying to do too much and living the way everyone else wanted me to, but as a child, what other choice do you have? You do what you are told, right? It got to the point where I was just too tired, too run down and too worn out to go on, so I let areas slip where I could. Unfortunately, it was my grades that I decided to sacrifice, because it was the one place that I could cut back without anybody noticing. By the time they did notice, it was too late. I know that you probably want to follow up on this one, so I will. Yes, they did back off on me a little after I came home with a horrible report card. I got myself so messed up and went so low, that it was hard to get back out of that and get back on track. I just picked myself up and started over again. My messing things up was a desperate cry for help. I learned a lot by that though and I will never let things get that bad for my children. I have an open dialogue with them and they know that they can always come to me about anything and we will try to work things out before it gets too much for them or before they become overwhelmed. I hope that I can achieve that open communication with my little one. He's only 8 weeks old at the moment, so there's a few years to go, but thank you for sharing that. Yes, Dougie, I think that listening is on of the most important things we parents should do for our children. You'll do fine, after all you are still reading up on all those parenting books, aren't you? You said you are a Christian. Have you always been? Or was there a time in your life, something that happened, when you found your faith? Have I always been a Christian? Yes, I was raised in a house where we went to church every Sunday and my family was always very involved in church activities. Although my family was heavily involved in Bible studies and church, I never felt pressured to be there or to do it. I loved it and I always believed. I actually became "Born Again" at church camp when I was 12. I was with two other girls and we all accepted Jesus as our Savior and I felt an incredible rush go though my body...I have felt His presence with me ever since. I feel that He watches over me and that I have guardian angels watching over me, too. So many things have happened to me that I probably shouldn't be here, but through faith and my guardian angels, I have been fortunate to stay on Earth a little while longer. I guess that I have much more to do or else I'd be gone by now! You said that you still like men, despite all that you have been through, and being twice married. Have you had a tough time? Do you feel able to tell us a bit about it? Dougie, I will talk to you about anything right now. You have gotten me totally hammered on these two bottle of champagne, that I am an open book. A hard time with my marriage breakup is a total understatement. And yes, I have had a rough time with men. The breakup of my second marriage was absolutely devastating to me. It's not like it was a shock, the last four years of our marriage had been really horrible...it was a nightmare...but it still hurt. Looking back, my only regret now is that I stayed in the marriage too long. I stayed for the sake of my children. Little did I know that my unhappiness in the marriage was more devastating to my children than my breaking free of the Hellish relationship. I thought that staying married was the best thing for my kids, so I stayed...but the constant fighting, yelling and screaming, the pain, the hurt, the crying, etc....was much worse on my children than the actual breakup. They were so happy that it finally came to an end. They asked me why I didn't leave sooner...they actually told me that they loved seeing me happier now, than how miserable I was in the marriage. Sometimes we adults think we know what's best for our kids and what they need, but we always don't have all the answers. Kids are smarter than you think. Now, even though I have the benefit of being a little older and wiser after two marriages, I thought that I could go out and find that perfect relationship and finally find my soul mate...at least the man that I would want to grow old with. I don't understand why this has been so hard for me. I don't know, I think that I have a lot to offer a man. I am probably one of the most loving and giving people you will ever meet and I will give my all to my man. Unfortunately, I am not having much luck. I thought, wrongly I might add, that men my age would be more grown up then they were last time I was out in the dating scene - Wow, was I wrong! Men seem to be worse now than they were back then. I don't know, but I keep finding the same three problems with men. Problem number one and I hate this one...a lot men my age and older are a bitter at their ex-wives, so much so that they think every woman is a greedy, money hungry, frigid, witch. What did these women do to these men? Of course, since I am a woman, I get lumped in with all the rest and it's just not fair! I find these guys to be card carrying members of Women Haters Anonymous. Why they even WANT to date again is beyond me, but they shouldn't even be out in the dating pool if they are that angry at women! Problem number two, the commitment phobes...they are the ones who have never committed to anyone and never will and they are proud of it. Fine, you commitment phobes, just grow old and die lonely! Damn, the champagne is getting to me now! No, I am not bitter...much! Problem number two, the commitment phobes...they are the ones who have never committed to anyone and never will and they are proud of it. Fine, you commitment phobes, just grow old and die lonely! Damn, the champagne is getting to me now! No, I am not bitter...much! Problem number three...the opposite end of the spectrum, the guys who want to marry you after the first date. They are in love with you after only a few days and want to get married as soon as possible. These guys already have the date of your marriage and your children's names picked out. Scary. They are leaches and call you all the time! While that type of behavior is somewhat endearing once you get into a relationship and you have decided to commit, these guys should at least give it a week before they register us at Neiman Marcus, right? These are always the guys you don't wish to act this way, the ones you do want to be that way, never are. Isn't that the way it always seems to work out? Dougie, let me ask, which one, if any of the three categories do you fit into? None I hope! LOL. Probably a little bit of each but none of the above as well! Seriously, I still love men though...can't live without them! Maybe I should go for a much younger man ... it's very chic right now with Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher. I need to get these men before they become jaded towards relationships and have had a couple of ex-wives who have taken all their money and have turned them against women! You have fibromyalgia. I must confess I've not heard of that...unless maybe by a different name. How does that affect you? You said it can leave you feeling a prisoner in your own body -- that sounds really tough. Does it get better over time? Fibromyalgia is a condition where you have pain in the muscles, joints, ligaments and tendons anywhere and basically all over your body...there are certain so called trigger points where this pain usually is found in most people with the condition. It is one of those conditions that baffles doctors. It is known by some other names such as: chronic muscle pain syndrome, psychogenic rheumatism, fibrositis, and tension myalgias. It is a musculoskeletal pain and fatigue disorder...doctors still don't know what causes it. There is a lot of pain involved in this syndrome. Mostly there is pain in the muscles of your body and you feel like you have exercised too much or like how your muscles ache when you have the flu, yet you have done nothing to cause this pain. The pain and the symptoms are random and Fibro has no rhyme or reason as to why it happens. The severity of the pain and symptoms vary from person to person and can be different with each attack. Other symptoms include: sleep disorders, TMJ, Irritable Bowel Syndrome, dry mouth and eyes, chronic headaches, fatigue, memory impairment, dizziness, nausea, sensitivities to light, odors, noises, swelling of extremities, chest pain, heartburn and other gastric problems...it's just awful. I have almost all the symptoms. My symptoms have gotten worse and more severe over the years. Seems like each year I add a few more symptoms to the list. No, it usually doesn't get better with time, it is something that you have for life, although there are periods of time where the pain and related symptoms are better than others and sometimes where you can go into remission. I have had years where I am fine and then it starts back up again. I have lived with this for 15 years now. I remember when I first went to the doctor they considered this to be something that was all in your head and made you feel like you were just a hypochondriac or something. It took a lot more people showing the symptoms for them to recognize this as a real disorder and now most people in the medical community do recognize this condition. This condition supposedly doesn't shorten your life, but as you can see, with all these problems and symptoms popping up whenever they do, that living a structured life becomes near impossible. Sometimes you just can't plan you life out because you never know how you will feel from one day to the next. Docs really don't know what causes this condition or what aggravates it, but they seem to think that fluctuations in temperatures, hormones could cause it, even cold or hot weather, stress, anxiety, overexertion, depression, diet and other things might bring on flare-ups. I just have to be careful. There are no specific medicines or treatments for this disease, just different medications and treatments used to temporality relieve symptoms as they crop up. I take a lot of different medications to control my symptoms. I take medicine for my stomach disorders and for pain and inflammation. Sometimes I need very strong pain relief or muscle relaxers. Occasionally, I need medication to sleep. I have tried antidepressants and anti-anxiety pills, sometimes they work, sometimes they don't. I find that I have to watch what I eat and make sure that I take vitamins daily. I am hoping one day for a cure, but right now, symptom relief is the best we Fibro sufferers can hope for. Oh Karen, that sounds really difficult. I sincerely join you in hoping and praying for a cure. You really are a survivor, aren't you. You are a newly single-again mum, and a clearly devoted mother of three, how do you cope with everything on your own? I don't...I go out with handsome men such as yourself and I drink a lot of champagne and pass out every night. No really, I guess that I'd have to say that I get my strength from my faith in God. My faith is what keeps me going. Even in my darkest hours, I go to God and ask for strength. There are some days that I am so tired, in so much pain, or I am totally overwhelmed and stressed, that I just can't get out of bed. I go to God and ask for the strength to get me through. Certain people have helped me get through the rough times too. My mother and my sister have been there for me and I am very thankful to them both for that. Sometimes just a shoulder to lean on and someone to talk can be all you need to get you to get you up and going again. I truly believe that God has placed certain people in my life to help me get through at certain times. Each one I can truly say, came in at a time when I needed something that they could give and they were there for me. First, was my friend Debra. We were both going though a divorce and she talked with me and helped me see what I couldn't at the time. She told me to hold onto my faith. Then Bobby came along, and he lifted me out of a bad time. I am eternally grateful to him for just being there for me. His relationship with me was during one of the roughest times of my life and our relationship got me though. While he is no longer in my life, he should know that what he did for me really got me back up on my feet and gave me the confidence to go on. Also, DavidMac, bless his heart, has been my bud through this all. He always listens to me whine and complain, but he never complains about having to do it. He even stays up till two in the morning with me sometimes, just to listen to me gripe. I love you, David! Thanks for being there, Babe! And now there is a special man in my life, who will remain nameless at the moment. He is everything that I could ever want in a man and more. When he looks at me, I melt. A man of the utmost honor and integrity. I feel like a queen in his arms...we are perfect together in every way. I have never felt like this about anyone ... an officer and a gentleman...he has my heart if he wants it. Right now, just his presence in my life is good enough for me...just knowing that he was around to lean on during a horrible time helped me get through. He was there for me in the darkest period of my life. He saw me through this time, he comforted me ... he was there for me one night when I was about to lose it and this precious man saw me through. I am so lucky that I have found a friend in him, even more, that he has blessed my life with his presence... God, I can't think about him and what he means to me without tearing up...sorry! Congratulations! I'm so glad you have found someone special for you. You really deserve to have someone special! I hope he realises that he is a lucky guy! Thanks Dougie, I actually feel like the lucky one, ...I hope that he thinks that he is lucky but I am not sure yet, maybe one day he will realise what we have is very special and rare. Tell us a little about your three children? Well, I am somewhat protective over my children and what I say about them. I will say that I have a teenage boy. He is very smart genius IQ, takes care of his old mum and he is now taking over the role of "man of the house". He is an A/B student, on Honor Roll, Who's Who Among American High School Students (just like his mum) and works an almost full time job. I am very proud of him. He has had to do a lot of growing up in a little bit of time. Then my daughter, she looks a lot like her mum. She is a preteen. She is very ladylike. She loves clothes (just like mum) . She loves music and loves to sing. Then my youngest is my son David, he is my baby and a definite mama's boy. He is going to be an actor someday, I think. He always wants to be the center of attention. He has the biggest eyes and the most beautiful long eyelashes...I am jealous. He always has all the women pinching his cheeks everywhere we go. He won a beautiful baby contest when he was nine months old. He never lets it all go to his head though. You lived in Europe for three years, how was that? Which parts? You said that your favorite place is Rome, did you live there? What is it you like about Rome - other than the shopping?! No, I didn't live in Rome, but I would if I could. Rome is just a magical city. I feel alive when I am there. I don't know, I can't really describe it, but just absorbing all the culture and the history there was a truly unforgettable experience for me. I soaked in all the ambiance ... the sights, the sounds, the smells. I love the people there. I just had to pinch myself to believe that I was really there. I would really love to experience Rome with a certain special someone someday, that would just be the ultimate for me. I lived in Italy for three years. I lived in Naples, or Napoli as the Italians call it. Living in Bella Napoli was an absolutely wonderful experience for me. I fell in love with the Italian people. They were so wonderful. I fell in love with everything about Italy really, not just the people, but the land, the culture, the language and oh my God, the food! Yes, the shopping was great but looking out my window and seeing Mt. Vesuvius everyday was a surreal experience! I never took it for granted. OK, I have to ask this as it's in in the rules, do you flirt? (I love making up the rules, LOL!) You have to ask that after spending some time with me? I am the world's biggest flirt! I wrote the book on flirting. I am not ashamed to admit it...flirting is fun and I love it! What is really sexy is when you are in a relationship with someone and you flirt with them from across a crowded room and...well, it's just fun to do that sometimes. Well, time is getting on, are you hungry? Do you want to go on somewhere for dinner? If yes, where would you like to go? Well, I don't eat much, but there is this quaint little Italian bistro that I have very fond memories of in the DC area. A certain very special person took me there on our first date. I will at least have their Bruschetta appetizer. I think I need something on my stomach, this champagne is getting to my head! A popular question, if you could have one wish, for yourself, what would it be? My goodness, I guess that I'd have to say health and happiness for my children and for myself. If you don't have your health, what do you have? I really want my kids to be happy, seeing them happy makes me happy. Of course, I would like to be happy...I think that if certain things happen in my life, I will finally be happy. We'll just have to see what fate holds in store! I am optimistic that they will though. I have faith that what God has in store for me is what I have been promised. Is there any question you wanted me to ask that I haven't? Yes, I am not too proud, You didn't ask me if I needed any financial help now that I am a single mother looking for work. I am currently taking donations for the "Please Help Karen and Her Kids Start Their New Life Over Because Her Mean Soon-to-be Ex-husband is Being Stingy with the Money and Leaving Them to Fiend for Themselves" fund. E-mail me for the address of where to send your donations. LOL! Well, Karen it's been a lovely evening, thank you very much for coming out for a drink with me this evening. Time to leave, I think, it's getting late. So, shake hands, hug, or kiss on cheek? Well, in Europe I got used to the kiss on both cheeks for hello and good-bye, but you have been so kind Dougie and you did buy me two bottles of expensive champagne, so here is a sweet, soft kiss on your ... hand! Well, you are a new daddy, so I won't get too fresh! Wink, wink!!! Ciao, my Sweet! See, I told you I am a flirt. Thanks again for a wonderful evening, all the best, and bye for now! Thank you Dougie for a lovely evening, it's one that I will never forget! Let's do it again soon! I'll buy next time! ============================= This was an entry in the "Have a drink with me" W/O where you invite someone for a drink and find out more about them. For details, follow this link  |
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