Impertinent Thoughts on Pertinent Subjects XXXSep 13 '03 Write an essay on this topic.The Bottom Line N/A The 30th installment, some things to ponder while watching Ted Nugent's new reality TV show... Johnny Cash and Warren Zevon: R.I.P. There really is only one place to start, as the music world lost two giants in the span of 5 days. Zevon had one of the darkest sense of humors in the history of rock and roll, not to mention one of the most fun songs to sing along to ("wahoooooooooooo, werewolves of London!"), and reviews of his new record, The Wind are overwhelmingly positive. Cash, of course, the man in black, was one of the greatest country artists of all time, who had experienced a recent career renaissance thanks to his cover, and accompanying video, of the Nine Inch Nails song Hurt. Both of you shall be missed. Bruce Springsteen sells out Fenway, most under 25 seem to care less Yes, last week BRUUUUUUCE became the first artist to ever play Fenway Park, selling out two nights. But that's not why I bring it up. The Boston Herald, a few days before the shows, had an article about the current generation's lacksadaisical stance toward Bruce. One 20 year old said that it was probably "rebellious" at one point but that she doesn't see what people get excited about. I mean, I guess when you're listening to Good Charlotte, you've just about gotten as rebellious as you possibly can. *roll of eyes* RIAA Sues 12 Year Old Girl, Film at 11 The RIAA made good on it's promise to sue file sharers this week. Among the many on the litigation list was a 12 year old girl from New York City. The case has already been settled for $2,000, but that's far from the point. If I got sued, I'd be even more determined to grab every piece of music I could for free as a big f*ck you to the industry. Then again, it's no surprise they're behind the ball. And how sickening is it that the RIAA talks about how "the artists" are the ones suffering from downloads? Yeah, I'm sure they're doing great with those one sided record deals of yours. But don't worry. You can get amnesty from the RIAA if you sign an online form pledging your guilt, agreeing to never illegally download another song, and purging your hard drive of all illegally downloaded music. That calls for another roll of the eyes. PIMP JUICE! Get Your Pimp Juice Here!" Nelly is taking some heat over his new energy drink, Pimp Juice. Yes you read that correctly. Some groups are organizing boycotts of stores that carry the product, promising to "chase pimp juice out of the black community." You know, is there really anything else you need to know about someone who markets a drink called "pimp juice?" And spare me the "satire" argument I'm sure to get in the comments section... A*s Clown Moby Supports A*s Clown Kerry For Prez I guess I shouldn't be surprised that Moby has thrown his weight behind presidential candidate John Kerry. After all, one a*s clown deserves another. I'm far from a Bush supporter (I personally think the man has a brain smaller than the average primate, and looks like one as well), but take it from someone who's had Kerry as his Senator for way too long: Kerry is an a*s clown. Moby even headlined a benefit concert this past week in Boston, which saw Kerry get onstage and help out an opening band on a cover of Springsteen's Tenth Avenue Freezeout. Cue up that disgusted groan that Sideshow Bob from the Simpsons does. Jessica Simpson: The Real Life Kelly Bundy Has anyone else become addicted to Newlyweds, the show following the lives of Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson in the first months following their marriage? My god, now THIS is reality television! She is quite possibly, the dumbest human being on the face of the earth, and the laugh factor only increases because of that simple fact. "It says it's tuna, but the label says 'Chicken of the Sea." By far my favorite moment is how she buys $750 worth of underwear (read: 2 bras, 2 pairs of underwear) and doesn't realize how much it all came to until AFTER she walks out of the store, having signed the credit card receipt. She calls Nick and the exchange is priceless. "I didn't look at the slip, I just signed it." She is truly the real life Kelly Bundy, except she's so much more spoiled. Britney Digs Smoking...and President Skroob, I mean Bush It seems Madonna tried to warn Britney Spears about the bad habit before the VMA awards last month, but Britney blew off Madge, saying she liked the way cigarettes made her voice sound. Give me a break. The only thing cigarettes will do for a singer is F*CK UP their voice. Then again, what does Britney have to worry about? She barely ever sings live anyways. Then, last week in DC, at the NFL kickoff concert, she was asked about President Bush and she said the following: "Honestly, I think we should just trust our president in every decision that he makes and we should just support that, you know, and be faithful in what happens." What else should I have expected from a mindless trollop like Spears anyways? Eric Clapton in the Rolling Stones!? Yes, according to Keith Richards, after the departure of Mick Taylor, Clapton wanted in, but never actually did anything about said want. He called Clapton "lazy" and said it never would have worked out. It would have been fun to try though! QUICK HITS * Mariah Carey evidently has two planes for her tour: one for her and one for her luggage. Good to see she was humbled by all the bad press of a few years ago. * Current annoying song that needs to go away: Maroon 5's Harder to Breathe. * The new Sevendust song is a swipe at former Coal Chamber vocalist Dez. Funny, after seeing them live, and seeing their guitar tech have a guitar hurled at his head, I would've assumed the guitarist was the biggest a*shole in that band. * Does anyone really care that 50 Cent got shot at again? I hate to sound harsh, but the worst thing about 50 being killed would be that he'd undoubtedly be mentioned in the same breadth as Tupac or Biggie, and let's face it, as of right now, he is NOWHERE in their league. * If you have tickets for Jewel's tour, you can cancel those plans, as she has canceled her tour due to the death of her touring bassist. They say it comes in threes... * The Pixies are reuniting for a tour and an album apparently as well. But the best returning news is that of Primus, who on their fall tour will play 2 sets at each show, the first consisting of various songs from their catalog, the second, a start to finish performance of their MASTERPIECE, Sailing the Seas of Cheese. I'm there dude! Read all about it at primussucks.com * Why in the world did Sanctuary Records give Kelly Osbourne a new record deal? Can SOMEONE explain that to me please? * Here's a surprise, the new Nickelback song s*cks. OK, so that's not surprising. But the fact that the new Limp Bizkit song isn't horrendous IS surprising. The album will probably still suck, but the first single is by far the best track the band has had since their first album, which to this day, I will defend as being a very good disc. * Good to see Simon and Garfunkel are reuniting. It's always good to see two guys fleece their fans for everything but their first born... * It won't be long before we're inundated with more Strokes hype. Spare me please... * Rumors have it that Coldplay is putting together a live album...I cannot confirm the rumor that it will be called "live music to fall asleep to" though * Hilary Duff topped the album charts...need I say more about the direction of the music industry? * Whew, a busy month, I'll be back in a few weeks with another column. Same Matt time, Same King of Rock Channel  |
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