Untitled Sexy Romance Story, Part Five (Adult Content)
Sep 19 '03 (Updated Oct 29 '03)
The Bottom Line Is this ever going to end........?
More racy situations, just to warn you........
---------
“Oh!”, Janice whispered in surprise. “You’re a bit early!”
“Ah well... I never really paid attention to the clock.” It was ten minutes after five. Janice had expected Rebecca at about 5 20, although her wishful expectations were that she wouldn’t show up at all.
“So..... how was your walk?”, not having any idea of how to begin this conversation.
“Alright..... pretty cool outside though.........”
Janice watched Rebecca’s mannerisms with penetrating eyes. Penetrating, but not suspicious. Now, speaking to this person for the first time, she wanted to probe Rebecca with gentle caresses, to make her feel that there would be some mutual benefit to this communication.
Rebecca’s head was slightly bowed downward, as her eyes stared fuzzily at Janice’s presence. Rebecca couldn’t look at this woman with full confidence -- as she represented a threat, a threat that Rebecca feared greatly. The fear was instinctive. Rebecca wouldn’t be able to clarify the details of that emotion, and no detached witnesses would be able to figure out for themselves. Janice wasn’t beautiful enough; she wasn’t malicious --- what was it?
“So....”, Rebecca shrugs her shoulders, placing her hands upon her cheeks in a nervous twitch, “......... it seems so quiet around here.”
“Oh, just you wait..... there’s only twenty minutes left before we close. All the stragglers will come in just as we’re about to lock up.”, she mocks. “Never fails.”
Rebecca smiled awkwardly. “I ... don’t want to just stand around here if your busy, though......”
“No problem!” Janice saw a windowpane of confusion upon Rebecca’s face. “..... well.... umm... there’s a coffee shop upstairs.....”
“I know...”, she said quietly.
“..... if you feel better waiting there.”
Rebecca straightened her posture. “Well, how... how about I get you a coffee when you come out.”
“Sure.”, Janice’s lips smile with an amused warmth. Yes, that would be nice of her to get it, as long as Rebecca wasn’t planning on throwing hot coffee on her face when she got back............
Rebecca stood as Janice pulled out the gate that protected the store windows, and the merchandise behind it. After she locked the gate, Janice turned to face Rebecca. By this point in time, Janice was resigned to walking home, or wherever this woman was to take her.
Rebecca passed the styrofoam cup to the curve of Janice’s fingers, which grasped the steaming cup. As the cup passed to her hand, Janice felt Rebecca’s fingertips graze her palm. Rebecca’s fingers didn’t seem the hard, crushing touch that Janice expected.
“Thanks so much.”, Janice said, speaking with exhaustion. “I’ve so wanted this since this morning.”
“No lunch break?”
“How can I? I’m by myself all day. I can’t leave the store to eat. I’m starving so much! But I’m made of strong stuff.”
Janice noticed that Rebecca didn’t have a coffee. “No coffee for you?”
“No... I... don’t drink coffee.... I’m a smoker. Only one vice, I suppose.”
“Coffee isn’t a vice.... it keeps one going. You, on the other hand, there isn’t any hope for you yet.”, she smiled.
Rebecca’s head bowed down, her eyes fixed rigidly in place. Oh crap, Janice thought, here I am making bad jokes, and I’m only provoking her............
“So, um....... where shall we go?”, Janice asked.
Rebecca refrained from looking at Janice’s face. “Not sure. Maybe we can just walk.......”
Rebecca’s facial expression was vacant. She appeared to attempt to erase all emotion from her face, as if she were afraid to express the wrong feelings.........
Janice felt peculiar, alone with this strange woman at the edge of Victoria Park.
Twilight comforted the terrain, as the two women walked. The water of the Charlottetown Harbor grew into an inky black, as the retreating daytime patiently stripped the world of most of its color.
The woman’s shoes hit the wood of the boardwalk. Occasionally, they would look at each other’s faces, and discover the gloomy shadows outlining crevices and faultlines of the skin.
“Nice night, isn’t it?”, Janice spoke. “My friend Sherri likes to walk her dog across the park every day....... sometimes, I’ll walk with her. It’s pretty cool. Although I haven’t been out this late... god knows what sort of creeps are about......”
She snickered, while Rebecca smiled, appearing out of breath as she did.
Janice felt oppressed by this woman’s obvious nervousness. At least say more than a few reactionary words.........
“So…..does Frank like you at all?”, Rebecca abruptly began.
The pop quiz had began. Maybe Rebecca should have kept quiet, Janice thought.
“Yes, I certainly hope so………he does visit me often. Ah, how personal is this going to get…..?”
“I just want to know what you plan on doing with him!”, she said, strictly.
“Oh, all sorts of evil things!”, Janice blushed. “I want to take him into my lair and do all kinds of underground experiments!”
Rebecca rolled her eyes, and let out a sigh. She felt like an idiot. She realized for the first time that her inquisitions were too foolish to be taken seriously.
“…. I….don’t want you to hurt him!”, she said, less sure of herself.
“I’m not going to hurt him.”, Janice responded. “But I think that you might hurt him if you are going around and trying to stick your nose into his affairs.”
“I’m sorry….but what am I supposed to say when my friend goes home with some strange woman that he met at a bar for the first time, and then he tells me that “stuff” happened?”
“Ah….congratulations for meeting someone?”, Janice thought.
“But…it wasn’t just some friendly drink and a chat, my friend.”, Rebecca retorted. “Your bed was one of the objects that were involved.”
Janice found herself growing more embarrassed, and more aware of being trapped. She had no way out. She was just going to have to reveal everything. “Okay, Rebecca!”, Janice cried. “So we went home and we fooled around! That is exactly what happened! You got your answer!”
Rebecca didn’t say a word. She didn’t expect such a clearly-defined response. “I know what you‘re thinking….but I‘m only human.”, Janice continued, her whole body electrified. “That night, I was lonely. Actually, I’ve been lonely for a very long time. Surely, you understand what loneliness means; nobody hasn’t been touched by it. Of course, it’s acceptable to say that you feel alone… when it’s your heart that feels alone, when you don’t have anyone to talk to. But sometimes your body can feel neglected too.” Rebecca felt her cheeks bristle.
“And,”, Janice continued. “Sometimes it is difficult to distinguish which is the loneliest….your body or your heart. Actually, I think it‘s all the same, really…..”
Rebecca believe that Janice’s rant was missing something. Preferably, Rebecca’s desperate sense of decorum. “Yea, but surely you don’t feel good about picking up some strange man.”
“Why shouldn’t I feel good about it?”, Janice replied. “He turned out to be a decent guy. I got lucky. More than some of those other poor suckers, who are so goddamn obsessed with cloaking their true feelings. Men and women don’t want to admit to each other what they want. Men talk to other men about how much they’d like to screw those chicks over there; women talk to other woman about how cute those guys are, but get them together in one room, and it’s all lies, lies, lies!! They don’t know how to be friends, let alone lovers! You’re all idiots! “
Rebecca thought that Janice would be the one who would be at a loss for words, but it wasn’t to be.
“I don’t see,”, Janice continued,”,why two people who want to be affectionate toward each other, can’t just do that! I mean, we all feel that way for people, but we have to lie to ourselves about it, because we want to look good in front of the other sex, we don’t want to embarrass ourselves…..but at least I was honest. Or I tried to be. I never wanted to lie to him. Or to myself.”
Rebecca’s eyes wandered the broken pavement of the walkway. Afraid to raise her head, afraid to discover that Janice was right. That Janice was correct about everything she had said.
“So, Rebecca -- “, her voice firm, “.... you can hate me. You can gain that urge to slam your fist in my face. You can start a catfight with me, or any other stupid thing that we women can do. But don’t you dare call me a s!ut, or.. or a skank -- or any other despicable pejorative. If I’m a s!ut, well, then so are you... and so is every other person who has ever felt any emotion, any desire, for anyone else......”
Rebecca’s pupils failed to look up to the emotional face that flushed during the woman’s speech. “No.... Janice, I don’t hate you.” Rebecca began to bite at her knuckles. “I don’t hate you -- my brain is telling me not to hate you, but my soul is clawing back. Telling me to hate that idiot --she’s defying you.”
Janice could sense that something deep and ingrained was bubbling up to the surface that had nothing to do with her or Frank, but Rebecca and Rebecca only.
“Hey, I’m very sorry, Rebecca.”, she spoke softly “I just got carried away with my feelings.... don’t take....”
“No, no.... it’s my fault. I could never trust another woman.” Rebecca finally recovered her nerve to look at Janice’s face, with eyes soaking in tears.
Janice felt herself choke on her own breath. Rebecca had allowed her harsh attitude to break, like a glass slipping from the table into the cold, hard concrete floor.
“You never could trust women?”, Janice questioned, not knowing whether to take that statement seriously, or whether it was meant to be a bit of self-deprecation beneath the tears.
“No. At least that’s my theory......” Rebecca squinted her eyes, feeling the burn from the acidic wetness inside.
“Hmmm.... but ...but why wouldn’t you trust women?”, Janice wondering curiously. “That baffles me!” Her voice reached a higher pitch, as she was taken aback by her own burning of the eyes. Janice had to turn away for a brief second. She often had a problem with her eyes being influenced by the tears of another. It made no sense to her, but it was a genetic fact that she could not deny. Luckily, the skyline was dark enough that her face wasn’t clear enough in Rebecca’s own eyes. No need for the third wheel of this strange relationship to see her break down.
“I think it was because of Andrea....”, Rebecca said.
“Andrea?”
“Yes.... my mother!”, she pronounced.
Janice never heard anyone refer to one’s mother in that way. “So you call your mother by your first name?”
“It’s my weak effort to distance myself from my past. If I call her “mom”.... well, then all of those old feelings and events come flooding back.......”
“.....um...... did... did you want to talk about it?”
Rebecca smiled ruefully. “Well, you exposed all of your feelings to me, so I might as well be charitable and return the favor.”
Janice smiled, sadly.
“Well.....”, Rebecca sighed. “.......my home life really stank, or at least, that’s how I considered it. She was one of those high school dropouts, who dropped out because I was in her belly.”
Janice wasn’t sure where Rebecca was going with this.
“So when I became a permanent fixture in her life, she preceded to remind me constantly that I had to be better. That I had to be better than her, better than myself. It didn’t help that she was one of those know-it-alls, who had to have an opinion on everything. Even if she was hopelessly ignorant about everything. I hated it!”
“Was she ever abusive toward you......?”, Janice stammered.
“Define abuse.”, she snapped dispiritingly. “No, it wasn’t a cliched story of her beating the sh*t out of me every day. She never did that. But I have felt her fist against me before. Just as a blast of creative spontaneity, I suppose. One day, she’ll decide that I deserve a smack -- and I get it. Why? Because one day she decided that I had bigger tits than she did, so she got a bit jealous. “
“Did you ever talk to Frank about this?”, Janice wondered. “He doesn’t strike me as someone who’d brush off your concerns....at least I hope not.”
“Sort of. He know that I had trouble with her; but I .... I seem to give him little sound bites. Just enough to pique his shame. Then I move on to something else.... while he’s too distracted with my teaser of a problem.”
“So... you’re not really better with him, are you? It’s not as if you are more comfortable around a male than you are a female.......”
“F*ck it!”, she spat. “Don’t do that to me. I had enough.”
Janice cringed. She didn’t want to prick at Rebecca’s fragile soul any longer. She didn’t appreciate Rebecca’s complicated interference, and her raw emotions only made it worse.......
“Rebecca.” She drew a lengthy, sorrowful breath. “I want to be nice to you. But you have to assure me that you’re not going to do anything stupid. I have every right to live my own life. I don’t want some third party meddling in my private affairs, even if they are friends of the guy I picked up at some hyped-up dance club.”
Rebecca wanted to keep Janice’s emotions at an even pace. “I needed to tell you this..... I just had enough of what I’m feeling right now. I’m alienating all of my friends, not just Frank. Supposedly I’m a very unpleasant person to be around, especially when I’m drunk........ I allow myself to lose control. I’m just like Andrea.”
Janice crossed her arms, feeling a chill. “I think it’s best if we went home....it’s getting late.”
“You’re just saying that!”, Rebecca said. “I know that you don’t want to be here with me....”
“I don’t want to be here with you... it’s true. You are just bringing too much to the party. I need to process it. I .... I'm not angry with you. I don’t know how I feel about you.”
“I’m sorry.” Rebecca meant it.
“No, I’m the one that has to be sorry. “, Janice shook her head. ”I had a problem. I went to alleviate it. And now I’ve created more problems, between two friends, and I don’t know what I can do about it. Can’t I just have a meaningless fling and be done with it?”
“No, you can’t? “, Rebecca sighed. “It’s impossible.......”
Impossible. Janice reflected on that word, later that next afternoon, as she adjusted her position on the sofa. She was so caught up in one minute emotion, one silly desire, that she was blind to the consequences of fulfillment of that desire. Find the right man, develop a relationship, go to trivial things that lacked in excitement but made up in decent company and social acceptance. Yet she turned her nose up to conformity, and got it dirty.
“Come on up.”, Janice called. Her friend Sherri had buzzed in from downstairs.
She never did tell Sherri about Frank........
“Hey, girl.”, Sherri smiled. “What’s up?”
“Nothing much.... just have the day off. What’s going on?”
“Ah, I was wondering if you had something that could keep my hair together. I can’t find my clip for my hair. I must have dropped it on the way home.”
“I might have something....”, turning to her bedroom.
“Anything would work. Even a goddamn rubber band can keep my hair from swimming in the customer’s plates.”
Janice returned with some proper hair clips. “Keep them if you like. I don’t usually tie up my hair anyway.”
“Hey, this is even better than a tip, my friend!”, she laughed.
Janice returned to her position on the sofa. “Maybe you ought to institute a new policy. Instead of money, servers will now accept personal items such as jewelry, clothing, and hair accessories!”
Sherri smiled at Janice’s weak humor, as she regarded Janice’s posture. Something about the way that she sat provoked Sherri to make an observation.
“You... you sit on that sofa all the time, don’t you?”, she asked. “What are you waiting for?”
“Nothing.”, Janice’s face quizzical.
“Well, at least you’re honest about it.”
“Why are you so worried about me?”
“Because you’ve been stuck in this way since you left high school. Every day you go to work, you sit behind a counter. And then you go home and rigidly place yourself on the center of the sofa. It’s like you were at a bus station, and didn’t want to get up and go to the washroom, for fear that you’d miss your ride!”
“If you know what I was waiting for, you’d probably not want to speak to me.”, she smiled wryly.
“I know what you’re waiting for ... but it’s not going to come to you if you don’t try to get it first.”, Sherri grinned. “You’re just waiting for life to come and grab you from your seat. Well... it’s not going to happen.”
Janice felt the water in her eyes. This time, they materialized not from unspeakable sympathy for another sorrowful face, but from somewhere else. Somewhere within Janice’s own lonely soul.
“You know... I really wish that girl with the glasses that I saw passing by our window was you!”, Sherri said. “Then I could say that finally Janice did something wild and crazy! One night stands.... they can be dangerous, I suppose. But we’ve all done it. Except for the ones who haven’t, of course. At least you could say that you did something a little quirky.....”
Janice looked at her friend, wondering if those were just words, words that would crumble to dust if she were to hear that Janice did indeed do something wild and crazy, a little quirky. “Most guys would think I’m too weird to have a one night stand with...... so why bother trying to get it.”
“Hey!”, Sherri exclaimed. “Do you really think that all the other girls are any more normal than you? That’s a laugh. Even if you did do something reckless like pick up some strange guy, maybe that would just set you up on a different path...... maybe you’d end up having some more confidence in yourself. Instead of being so goddamn lonely........”
“Who said I was lonely?”, she mumbled.
Sherri stopped herself from creating a rift. “Oh, Janice.”, she sighed, hurt by her own previous words. “I’m sorry, I.... I didn’t mean to upset you. I just worry about you sometimes...... okay?”
“Sure... it’s okay.”, Janice replied. “You’re my friend. I won’t criticize you for your choice of words......”
“See you later, okay?”, she said, before stepping out of the apartment.
And then the apartment was empty again.
Empty of nothing but herself. But it wasn’t always this way. Not lately, not since she invited Frank inside. The loneliness dissipated for a time.
But her soul wasn’t full. After a while, surely, her emotions would change. She wouldn’t get enough out of Frank. Her life surely wouldn’t be complete with him. She couldn’t have great sex and nothing else forever. She still had her aimless job. Where would that get her, ten years from now?
She laid on her back. Her eyes wandered the ceiling. All her hopes and dreams were cut and bleeding, trying to scrape the paint off the ceiling, to break open the top of the apartment, and show the world that they were worth at least a small glimpse of attention.
....... what can I do? What can I do?...... she was helpless. She could not move.
Ring!
Damn!
Ring! Ring!
The phone. Get up and answer it.
The fourth ring had already passed before she was able to break her mental paralysis, and command her body to twist itself to the nearest phone.
“Hello?” Her voice cracked.
“Hey... Janice?”
“Yes... oh, yes..... Frank.......” Her heart jumped in delight once again.
“You’re not at work today.”, Frank said, expectantly.
“Nope.... got the day off today.”
“So what are you planning to do this afternoon?”
“I.... I’m not sure......”, Janice uttered, not wanting to say the obvious. “How.... how about yourself?”
“That depends.........”
Janice knew exactly what he was aiming at with his words.
“uh...... are you sure you really want to see me again?”
“I can’t survive without you.....”, he uttered.
His confession tightened Janice’s windpipe.
“You stir me like nothing else ever has. I could stay with you forever in your room. Your presence would be like food and water to me........”
Janice wanted to implore to him that it was the passion that spoke over the phone to her ears; that after the passion ran out of words, other speakers needed to have their say. But she was still too entranced by passion’s eloquent phrasing to remind him of the other eager players.......
“Frank......”, she fluttered. “How about I go to your place.... just to be fair......” Just to make her forget about the truth that poisoned the air in her room............
------
END OF PART FIVE
Part Six at http://www.epinions.com/content_3514212484
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Epinions.com ID:
DavidMac
|
 - Top 500 |
|
Member: David Macdonald
Location: Prince Edward Island
Reviews written: 612
Trusted by: 109 members
About Me:
Alice, a story in nine parts, posted on Sept 24, 2008 - http://www.epinions.com/content_5241348228
|
|
|
© 1999-2009 Shopping.com, Inc.