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"Mommy I know he is still here!"Oct 01 '03 Write an essay on this topic.
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The Bottom Line Tell your child the truth about death. the less questions they have, the faster the healing will be. Children are a lot stronger then we think.
Another tragedy has hit my family. What I have to write is very heartbreaking and seeing my children suffer doesn't help me much. On September 26th 2003, it was Thursday evening to me but midnight had hit. I was getting ready to go to bed when I heard my dog cry with a scream I never heard from him before. I ran downstairs to see what happened. He was lying on the floor having a seizure and gasping for air. My children woke up with all the noise and watched their dog so helpless, as I gave him cpr. I tried so hard to help him. I felt his heart go from a pounding beat to no beat within five minutes. I didn't give up, I tried to give him cpr for 30 minutes crying and telling him to hold on, mommy was trying and not to leave me. My children watched with endless tears. I finally realized he was gone and I held him in my arms, kissed him and hugged him. I told him it was ok to go now and that we love him very much. I let the kids hug and kiss him goodbye briefly while I got a sheet to lay over him. It has not been a week yet and the kids are not doing so well in handling this. I understand it takes time, I have also taught my children about death at a young age, but they never had to see it before. My children are 12 years old and 9 years old. My 9 year old seems to be handling it better than my other. I have explained to them that they need to let go of him so he can rest and go to heaven. My 12 year old refuses to let go, we have another dog in the household which makes it harder since she is showing signs of depression over losing her friend. My daughter tells me she feels him next to her side all the time, she says she hears him bark and hears him walk around during the night. I explained to her to talk to him and tell him he needs to go and that he can come back and visit, but his home is in heaven now. She tells me he wont go. i have had her school call me yesterday to tell me she keeps crying in class and they sent her to the counselor to talk to. What I found out was her tears are not for the dog but rather for me. Her heart is so broken remembering her mommy trying to save the dogs life and crying to him while I held him in my arms like a child. She can't get the vision out of her head. She had told the counselor that she has never seen her mommy cry like that before. I have been strong since then and cry during the night where the children can't see. We buried our dog Todd in the back yard, I felt it was the right thing to do, so the children can talk to him and share their feelings with him. It is so hard to say goodbye and I understand if they do not want to. Our dog was only 3 years old and his death was so unexpected, if he were older and showed signs of being sick, we could have prepared ourselves to face the day he would leave us. There were no signs or warnings, his heart failed for no reason we can see. I had called a vet to find out any reasons for his heart failure but there are many reasons that could have caused it suddenly. I was told lyme disease can be a sudden killer to dogs if the dog had a weak heart. He showed no signs of lyme disease. He was an overweight dog, he always was since the day I got him. He was active and seemed healthy. The children ask why he had a heart attack, and I do not have the answers, I just explain to them, God had a purpose for Todd, he was sent to this family knowing in Gods eyes that he was going to live a short life, so God gave him to us to fulfill his life with love from a family with children to love and play with him, and he was blessed to have another dog to watch over him like a mother. I also explained to them that Todd was never alone, since the day we got him until the day he died, we were always with him. He lived a happy life and we have to keep the memories close to our heart and be proud that we love him so much. My children went to his grave yesterday, they gave him food in his bowl and layed it down. They say he sees them and wants him to know they will never forget about him. In time our tears will stop and smiles will come when we remember his funny ways. I am just concerned about my 12 year old, it might take her a while to heal, I know ever child has a different way to deal with death. It just seems that she doesn't want to deal with it, she won't let go. I feel it is not healthy for her want him by her side, to believe he won't leave her. But does that feeling of not wanting to let go make her feel safe? Does that make her feel more secure? I guess time will tell and the memories will live on. I just know I have to be strong for her and let her know I am hurt by this as much as they are, but I must show them, life goes on and if mommy can continue her life, then they will see they can also.  |
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