When my friend’s away message had a link to the website that advertises this novel - The Average American Male - I clicked on it out of sheer curiosity. After reading one passage that is posted on the site, I practically fell out of my computer chair because I was laughing so hard. I had to get this book, and I had to get it ASAP.

The next day I ran to my Barnes & Noble to pick up the red (or blue - depending on what’s in stock) book for a pricey $13.95. A bit overpriced, I say? Nonetheless, I went and returned it today after reading it in about three hours. I literally could not put this book down.

There are some things you need to know right off the bat. This novel is fiction, though I could take an educated guess that many American males have had experiences similar to the protagonist’s (whose name is never mentioned, and neither is his occupation). Furthermore, it’s inappropriate for anyone who is, well…a woman. And also, keep it away from anyone who’s not old enough to legally download porn.

Have you begun to establish that The Average American Male isn’t the most appropriate novel on the bookshelves? Perhaps its only literary devices are setting, theme, and tone. The setting? In Los Angeles, 2007, and from the perspective of the narrator - who is also the protagonist. The theme? Sex, women, sex, masturbation, and sex. The tone? Humorous throughout. Hilarious, actually.

So this “male” tells the reader about, perhaps, a 4-month span of his life in Los Angeles. He’s dating this woman named Casey, who he likes mostly for her looks and her attitude in bed. At the same time, the protagonist is fascinated with his seat partner from a recent flight, Alyna, who has a perfect body and is several years younger than he. Throughout the novel, both women are his sources of anger and happiness, which is really quite hysterical.

When in bed one day, Casey somehow misconstrues what her boyfriend says, and she takes it to mean that they are engaged. Before the poor guy can defend himself - not that he really cares what others think - Casey is telling her friends and family as well as the rest of LA. The kicker is that the narrator has no intent to marry her - ever - and he has to find a way to break it to her.

I hate to ruin a story, so I won’t do that. There seem to be several climaxes throughout the novel, though nothing appears to be overly exciting - similar to the life of an average American male. There are some good times, some bad times, and some times where you feel indifferent, but life ultimately comes down to just one thing: sex. Or, at least, according to this book.

I found it tough to locate a passage from this novel that doesn’t include anything inappropriate or taboo (according to American society). Heck, Epinions’ word scanner won’t let me type half of the words used in this book. What I found was the following, which is actually a pretty decent depiction of an average American male’s thoughts:

“Ten more minutes or so pass and Casey tries to explain to me how important it is to choose just the right kind of wedding invitation. She says that even though I won’t be involved in the process of choosing the invitations, it’s important for me to understand why she and her mother end up choosing whichever invitations they choose. She further explains that she wants something new and hip, but still traditional enough that her grandparents won’t think she’s moved to Hollywood and gone crazy. Then she laughs.

I try to imagine what she’d look like thirty pounds lighter.”

As one can see, the narrator is clearly satirical in his writing. He chooses to point out how pointless his girlfriend’s gibberish his; he simply does not care what she has to say, and all he can think about is her body, which ultimately ties back to sex. It’s funny, nonetheless, that most males who read this book will be able to relate just exactly to what he’s speaking of.

Before wrapping it up, I once again need to stress that The Average American Male, while full of slapstick humor and some other hilarious material sprinkled throughout, is graphic in its explanations and it isn’t suitable for children of any age whatsoever. I read it with a light heart and didn’t read too much into anything; it was quite simply written for entertainment and to paint a picture of what a guy has to put up with during certain times of his life.

At the end, author Chad Kultgen acknowledges two members of his family, stating:

“Mom, thanks for always encouraging me to write and be creative. I’m sorry the end result of that encouragement is something you will not want to read.

Dad, thanks for teaching me self-discipline and thanks for giving me a good education. I know this isn’t the same as playing baseball, but it’s still pretty cool.

I love you guys and I hope this book doesn’t lose you any friends or anything.”

As one can see, Kultgen is quite aware of just how sordid his book is and how it’s something far from a piece of art. Nonetheless, even though it’s over 200 pages long (with decidedly large print), it’s entertaining throughout and ultimately results in a conclusion that most men will have to learn to accept. While this novel is certain to get different markings from different people -dependent of their personality, sex, and sense of humor - the sheer fact that I sat down and read this novel several hours straight (and laughing all the meanwhile) is concrete evidence of a success.

Recommended: Yes