You never had a chanceNov 02 '03 Write an essay on this topic.
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The Bottom Line Sometimes the gift of life is hard to open
I was thinking of you today how I wish that you were here my little brother who I loved so much but you never had a chance I remember the night you were born we couldn't wait to find out our Aunt came over to watch us we watched movies and had pizza and pop waiting with much anticipation for word of your birth we so badly wanted a little brother You arrived early that morning around two a.m. or so how I loved you my little brother, I guess I always will You were a giggly little boy with beautiful blond curls I remember holding you and the cooing sounds you made I was your oldest sister, eleven years older in fact but that just made me love you more, my beautiful boy We noticed subtle differences as you grew a bit older things were always harder for you, your frustration grew the baby formula we gave you was years later recalled the babies that took it were left slow and delayed it makes me wonder about all the others who drank this terrible drink, how are they today? It saddens me to think that right from the very start that the cards were stacked against you you were dealt a terrible hand you never really had a chance Then there came that fateful day, your bike ride you were hit by a teen driver deep in a coma, barely clinging to life how we prayed to God to help you I remember clearly praying don't let my little brother die two weeks later you regained consciousness I cried when you said hi, I never thought I'd hear you again I was so happy you were alive but you were never the same again brain damage, epileptic seizures anger, frustration, depression how different you became I loved you none the less and I guess I always will I remember the yelling, the fighting when you banged your head against the wall we were all trying to help you but I guess we were no help at all Doctors, psychiatrists, medication, sedation helplessness, frustration you never had a chance at all I've always cared for and loved you you were still my little brother I took you fishing, to baseball games Cedar Point, hockey games remember the night you caught the puck? how happy you were, the silly grin stayed for days then reality set in and it was back to your weary ways I thought about you this summer when I was at Jacobs Field remember that vendor that looked just like you? he could have been your twin I would kid you about him and you'd smile that silly grin I saw him at the ball game you look so alike I wanted to run up and hug him, to pretend that he was you but reality set in once again and I didn't move a limb When things got tough you would call me I tried to steer you right I was your favorite sister, I loved you with all my might Why didn't you call me that fateful day? I would have tried to help Did you think about me and the rest of your family when you hung yourself with your belt? The demons finally became too much for you just like in times past but this time you really did it you didn't survive this crash I wonder what kind of man you could have become if life hadn't dealt you the hand of cards you got would you have married? had children? got a job? what kind of life would you have had? I guess I will never really know what would have become of you now I just have this terrible sadness a void that is never replaced it stays with me always I have always loved you my brother I guess I always will the way you chose to leave this earth haunts me to my very soul I miss your laugh hugs, companionship little brother of mine how could you leave us? but most of all why? Life was too much pressure you had more downs than ups and I think to myself my little baby brother who I love and always will your life became a cruel joke and you never had a chance We buried you on your birthday one of your favorite days instead of opening up your gifts we were grieving at your grave You were suppose to outlive me not the other way around I will remember you always until they bury me in the ground I love you Mark In loving memory of my little brother Mark McCullough March 24,1972-March 16,1999 © Piglet2061 2003  |
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