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Downright strange goings on Down UnderNov 03 '03 Write an essay on this topic.
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The Bottom Line You'd think Australians were off on their own little island half a world away with some of their bizarre customs.
After reading Adam’s (copernicus here on Epinions, but then again, if you’re reading this you probably already know that) two essays on weird Americanisms, I was somewhat inspired to fire back with some of my own cultural observations on equally as strange Australian customs. After all, I found that after my three week sojourn Down Under this past summer, I had quite a list to work with. Call me confused, befuddled, bemused by it all, but there’s no mistaking that Aussies are creatures of strange habits. Read on. Convenience is not key Remember back in the olden days when you had to go to the pharmacy for headache medicine? And the bottle shop for beer? Before the days of Super Wal-Marts and Target where one stop fits all? Well, it’s still like that in Australia. You can’t just run into your local Kmart (which they do have) for a bottle of Advil. No, you have to go to the apothecary, er, chemist. (To make matters worse, the ibuprofen is kept behind the counter so they quiz you on why you want it. I’m PMSing, none of your business you bastard!) And you can’t go to a grocery store for beer or wine—you have to make a separate stop in the bottle shop. And if you want to find feminine hygiene products…. well…. good luck! Graffiti Now, don’t get me wrong, Australia is a beautiful country-- in some ways unspoiled by so many of the things they think makes America ugly (billboards and highways). However, one can’t help but notice the ubiquitous suburban phenomena of ugly graffiti. It’s everywhere—on signs for subdivisions, wooden gates around houses, road signs…. no matter where you go it’s right there, and it’s really just sad. While graffiti may be more of an urban thing here, it seems more suburban there. Fish n’ Chips This was probably my favorite part of Australia, and the source of the few extra pounds I was carrying on me when I got back to the states. Fish and chip stores and stands are pretty much everywhere. Every small town has one (or two or three), and fish and chips stands are abundant in big cities as well. No Captain D’s or Long John Silvers here, most of them are independently owned and the food is SO fresh and yummy. You can choose between almost any kind of fish you want, served up with a plentiful side of fries, er, chips. This was far and away my favorite thing to eat, and now that I’m back in the states I look at my local Captain Ds and just want to cry. Not the same! Tomato Sauce That’s ketchup. And it’s not free with your fries, er, chips. You have to pay like 20 cents per package. Hmph! Fountain drinks and ice Do not seem to exist here. I am a Diet Coke fiend, and nothing makes me happier than a 32 oz fountain Diet Coke from the QT around the corner. Unfortunately, I found myself going through major withdrawals in Australia because fountain drinks are few and far between. Most restaurants sell bottles of soft drinks instead of the real deal, and if you ARE lucky enough to find a real fountain drink, it will come with maybe 2 bits of shaved ice rather than the full cup I’m used to. Not only that, but refills are NOT free. So I’m a gluttonous American, so what? Some things are just nice to take advantage of—free refills and lots of ice being two of them. Hotels (fake) When you see an old building that advertises itself as a hotel and pub, it’s really just a pub. Maybe at one time it was a hotel, but it obviously hasn’t been for some years past. I don’t understand this, and no one has been able to explain it to me. Nevertheless, every small town has 2 or 3 hotels that…. aren’t. Hotels (real) One unusual thing I discovered about hotels/motels in Australia is the conspicuous lack of a bathtub. And washcloths. I’m not sure what kind of bathing habits most Australians are used to, but using washcloths to clean one's self and soaking in a nice relaxing tub are obviously not two of them! It's cold There is apparently no such thing as central heat that works in Australia. Sure, it was hovering around freezing a few days I was there, but did any of the hotels have a nice warm toasty room? No. You were lucky to get an electric blanket and a wood-burning stove. What's that all about? I flew home to the 90º heat of a late August in Georgia, but it still took me a week to get the chill completely out of my bones. Coffee Coffee in Australia, to put it bluntly, sucks. When you order coffee in a restaurant you will get one of two things: a flat white (which is like milk with just a hint of coffee), or instant. It’s very hard to find regular brewed coffee, even at coffee shops. They serve espresso drinks—if you want something non-espresso, you will get instant. Blech. Blech. Blech. Needless to say, I had lots of espresso drinks while I was there. Wine Australia is a land of many fine wines and wineries. Australian wine is becoming more popular and well-known in the states for good reason. However, it’s the ONLY thing you’ll find in Australia. There is practically no such thing as imported wine there. You just can’t find wine from anywhere else but Australia. I looked in three major cities in countless bottle shops for an American wine—any American wine, I didn’t care what—to buy as a thank you gift. I finally found one bottle of Californian White Zinfandel…. it really shouldn’t have been that difficult. Come on, guys, your wine is good but let’s not be so snobbish about other countries' products, okay? Sheesh! Well…. I’m finding I have quite a list written out of bizarre differences between Australian and American culture. Stay tuned for the continuation of this strange but true tale. Until then, if you haven’t read the two inspirations for this piece, please find them here: http://www.epinions.com/content_3560087684 http://www.epinions.com/content_3580338308  |
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