Anyone for Tennents?
Nov 07 '03
The Bottom Line Not my favourite and definitely not hard to find
Hi sports fans.
Well, what can I say? Last night I watched the Jambos play in the Uefa cup and.....what's that? You've never heard of the Jambos?
Allow me to elucidate.
Jambo is a corruption of Jam Tarts. So much clearer now, I'll bet.....No?
The Jam Tarts = Hearts = Heart of Midlothian Football Club = Edinburgh's representative in the world of football.* Granted, there is another mob who play in the slummy part of the city who go by the 'patriotically' Scottish name of Hibernian, but the closest they're likely to get to playing away in Europe is by cheating on the missus on a cheap package deal to Bevidorm. (Actually, to be fair to the vermin, The Hi-Bees were the first British team to play in European competition).
* Football = soccer
Anyway.....
Most of you reading this little diatribe about the JT's will have shouted almost in unison..."WHO? Surely there are only two teams in Scotland, Celtic and Rangers."
Funnily enough, that's what those winos in the beautiful French city of Bordeaux thought. They expected it to be a case of turning up, give 'Les Joques' a quick lesson in the art of the beautiful game, and round off the evening with a light snack of amphibian's appendages in garlic.
Aye? They thought wrong.
Bordeaux were fourth in the French league last season while Hearts were third in the Scottish league. The countries may be only a few hundred miles apart in terms of distance, but in terms of football prowess, they occupy different hemispheres of the planet.
The upshot is that the JT's won 1-0 in Bordeaux and 'les grenouilles' have to come across to Tynecastle in three weeks time for the return leg and win (scoring at least 2 goals in the process) to proceed to the next round.
That'll teach them for underestimating the Gorgie Boys.
But what's this got to do with beer?
C'mon, you didn't think I was going to watch this game without some sort of refreshment, did you? Arguing with a TV can build up a powerful thirst, not to mention the need for some lubrication to the old larynx. Besides, being a Scottish football fan usually involves copious amounts of sorrow-drowning...usually, but not always!
So, last night was a night for swilling back any number of bottles of something which induces beer goggles, but doesn't necessarily tax the taste-buds. And in keeping with the patriotic theme, it wasn't going to be Kronenburg.
Instead, my tipple of choice last night was TENNENTS LAGER.
Oh yes, Scottish beer is not all dark, deeply malty ales.
Tennent Caledonian are no newcomers to the brewing business, having been involved ever since 1556. Their flagship brand, Tennents Lager, was the first lager to be brewed in the UK way back in 1885 when it was brewed at the Wellpark Brewery in central Glasgow.
It's Scotland's best-selling alcohol drink and accounts for over 25% of all pints of beer sold in the country.
A few other 'firsts' from Tennents include: the first draught lager in 1924, the first canned lager in 1935 and first keg lager in 1963.
Tennent Caledonian is now part of Bass breweries which in turn is a subsidiary of Interbrew.
----------------------------INTERLUDE-----------------------
A woman walks into a supermarket and buys:
1 bar of soap
1 toothbrush
1 tube of toothpaste
1 loaf of bread
1 pint of milk
1 single serving of cereal
1 single serving frozen dinner
1 can of Soup For One
1 can of Tennents Lager
The guy at the checkout looks at her and says, "Single, are you?"
The woman smiles sweetly and replies, "Why yes, how did you guess?"
He replies, "Because you're incredibly ugly."
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Back to the beer....
Tennents pours a clear, pale golden-yellow colour with a quite aggressive carbonation and masses of bubbles which rise to form a pure white, rocky head which doesn't retain too well but manages to deposit a fair amount of sticky lacy rings around the glass.
The aroma is mainly light malt with some fruity tones (mostly pears) and a faint, mustiness. There are faint hops in the background but overall, the aroma is fairly delicate and light.
With a mouthfeel that is thin and fizzy, the taste of this beer is very crisp and very clean. There's some light, bready malt flavour which is enhanced by a little gentle fruit tone which is well balanced by a bitterness from the leafy hops. The bitterness continues into the finish with just a little trace of sweetness at the back. No real aftertaste.
• The Verdict •
At 4% ABV, this is a light, yet still refreshing Lager. It's certainly no world-beater but compared to many of its competitors, it's a decent enough thirst-quencher. And compared to expensive brands like Bud and Miller, it's positively outstanding. To my mind, it compares favourably with brews such as Heinekin and Stella.
It's very drinkable and is the sort of lager that you could easily chug away all night on. Perhaps when you're watching your team taking another step towards glory.
As for food pairings, well as it's brewed in Glasgow so the choice must be the most popular dish from that city. At a guess I would say that's Lamb Rogan Josh....but a 'jeely piece' must be high on the list of contenders.
It's available worldwide (I've even drunk a pint of this in Savannah GA). And in Scotland, you'd be hard pushed to find a pub or store that didn't sell it. It's gonna cost you somewhere around £2.50 for a pint in a pub but it's significantly cheaper in cans and bottles. It's hard to name a price for it as it can be bought in all sorts of sizes and all sorts of containers but as a rough guide, don't expect to pay much more than a fiver for a 6-pack of 330ml stubbies. In fact I saw it it Safeway this morning at £2.99 for 6x275ml bottles - pretty decent value.
Would I drink it again? - Naeborrarataw.
Thanks for reading,
Sláinte
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Alcohol & calculus don't mix. Don't drink & derive
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