The Sufferings of A Sweet Tooth in America
Nov 30 '03
The Bottom Line A different take on my recent observations about America - the food, and how it differs from my Australian culinary experience.
In my recent (dearth of) Post-America writings, there have been some main themes which have come through – mainly that the food is weird, the TV is cruddy, and that there are lots of things I don’t get too much. But, it’s mostly the food which befuddles me. So I’m going to try and put some of my thoughts about that, such as they exist, in a bit of a longer form.
Put simply, the differences I found over there were much greater than what I had expected. Aside from the usual stereotypes about the native flora a la McDonald’s and other dodgy burger establishments, I found to my eternal dismay that there is no such thing as a decent bakery, and much to my disgust, fish and chips only come in the chain restaurant variety. As any Aussie or Brit can attest to, there is simply nothing better than decent fish and chips. Captain D’s was not, alas, decent fish and chips.
It’s quite simple, really. Fish and chips is not something that can done properly by a chain. Independent operators, who get fresh fish in every day and cater to small regions, do not need to mass-produce the stuff. Everything is deep-fried, and it’s just so damn good, whether it gives me a heart attack or not is hardly the point! The only American variety I tried, alas, did not taste particularly fresh, and Americans will never fully grasp the concept of a proper chip, of the fried variety – while French fries are all well and good with burgers and so on, proper fish and chips requires fat bastards of a chip – hunks of potato which are not too soft and definitely not too crispy, something a fry fails at miserably. I’m going to have to start up a fish and chips franchise and show Captain D’s a thing or two!
One thing most notably lacking everywhere I went in the US was a bakery of some form – in fact, I think the only actual bakery I came across was, ironically enough, an Australian bakery in the suburbs of Atlanta. There are a lot of delis and so on, but I’m wondering where exactly fresh bread comes from. There’s nothing like a good loaf of white bread fresh from the baker’s oven – not to mention the heavenly aroma that permeates throughout your average bakery.
As with the fish and chips thing, often bakeries in Australia are individually owned, and all the baking is done right then and there. I believe I’ve come to the conclusion that the bakery treats down here are among the nicest sweets you’ll find anywhere, and I never found anything to rival that in the US, because quite simply freshly baked sweets, aside from donuts and perhaps bagels, are just not done. They’re all pre-made and pre-packaged and pumped full of god knows what chemicals. That’s not to say that there are no good sweets to be had – God only knows I’ve found quite a liking for Swiss Cake Rolls! But, a fresh lamington or slice from the bakery is a small dose of paradise.
I believe the closest rival to the good ol’ Aussie bakery in American terms is what I suppose would be the “donuttery”, which rolls off the tongue not at all. These things are everywhere, but I could only make myself go there once, if only because donuts aren’t my favourite thing of all time, and they seemed to look mildly radioactive. I ended up trying an éclair from a Krispy Kreme (or something similar!), and alas it just didn’t stack up. I believe the humble donut is next on the list to try – though, for a rather small bit of pastry, it seems unnecessary to need to take out a small loan to eat one!
The most striking aspect of the American culinary experience is the sheer, staggering “chain-isation” of it all. I believe I may have eaten in three or four restaurants the whole time which were NOT chains – but it’s really quite difficult to escape them, because there really is no alternative, and this is still a bit bizarre to me. Especially in Melbourne, where food is considered almost a hobby than something which is merely a necessity, the only chains are imported ones, with a couple of exceptions, notably Red Rooster – which is akin to Chik-Fil-A (Chick Filler? Chick Fill-Aaaay?), except that it’s a lot better.
I think that this has something to do with the American tendency to want the familiar, the comfortable (kinda ties in with the whole convenience issue, in a way!), things which are easily digested and easily forgotten. This is of course a generalisation, but I believe it holds true. There are obviously chains which offer good stuff – but on the whole I found that it was all rather average and samey. I never got sick off anything, but at no point were my expectations exceeded in the manner that you might find at an exemplary, independent restaurant (of which there are many in this city, and one in particular very close by). It was safe, easily digested and generally easily forgotten, though I do have my favourites!
The main exceptions to this chain rule were the Mexican restaurants, which abound in the south in almost the same way that Waffle Houses sprout up. Obviously the seed is not quite as robust as the Waffle Houses, which are a noxious weed in need of eradication, but there are a lot of them. And to be honest, I wasn’t expecting much at all. So imagine my surprise when I had some of the tastiest meals I believe I’ve partaken in. The flavour and zest present in many of the Mexican and also Cuban offerings is much in opposition to the bland output of your average chain. One of the first places I shall be returning to in Atlanta is a favourite Mexican restaurant. Apparently I’ll be having Margaritas as well! That certainly ought to make for an interesting night – the thought of tequila makes me retch randomly. Horrid stuff!
I’ve mentioned it before, and I’ll mention it again. And probably again, sometime in the future. Hershey’s chocolate is pure, unmitigated crap. Now, I’ve heard chocolate connoisseurs say that really, really good chocolate has something of a bitter tang to it – but Hershey’s has a cheap bitter tang to it – a somewhat sickly taste, and very much at odds to the milky, smooth chocolate that I am privileged to be used to. And that’s even without those bloody peanuts that people insist on inserting. I’ve never understood the sweet/salty fixation. It’s wrong, and ought to cease.
I was gifted with a fair quantity of Hershey’s Kisses, and this is where most of my experiences with American chocolate went awry. Notwithstanding that most of the other chocolate bars I tried had a rather bland, blah taste to it – not milky, but not particularly chocolatey either! But, as much I tried to like them, the bitterness won over – it lingered on my tongue well after the sweetness had bid goodbye to my beleaguered tastebuds. I was very, very disappointed with them. And not because I am used to sweeter chocolate – it was simply bereft of taste. I can handle some bitter, but bitter and mostly tasteless doesn’t make a good combo.
Well, this is a mostly long and boring ramble. Congratulations if you’ve made it this far – give yourself a pat on the back, and while you’re at it, help yourself to some nice Lindt chocolates – you deserve more than Hershey’s! perhaps this has shed some light on something Americans would perhaps not give any thought to, but an outside perspective always provides food for thought (bad pun intended) – if I am overly critical, you shall just have to forgive me. There is a good chance I will come up with a bit more about this subject, but for now, I hope you’ve been interested and feel free to cram my comments section!
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copernicus
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planning to write more soon...that's the idea anyway!
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