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Getting To Know You "Write-Off"Dec 24 '03 (Updated Dec 25 '03) Write an essay on this topic.
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The Bottom Line Well, that's my story...and I'm stickin' to it. Hope it brought you a chuckle or two...or six.
Wow...here's my first attempt at a "write-off." I wrote this with a bit of trepidation. -------------------------------------------------- Questions: -Birth date: August 26th - the day women were given the right to vote. (Different year, of course) -Height: 6 feet... unless I decide to grow my 1970's afro again. -Eye color: Hazel -Hair color: Midnight Ebony (okay, it's black, but if the car companies can give dramatic names to colors, so can I) -What does your name mean: Kenny means "Handsome One" (well, it's an English name, go figger) -High school graduation year: I can't remember - it was all such a blur -Favorite relatives: My brother, my niece & nephew, my cousin Jessica and OF COURSE my parents! -Summer memory: Sea-Dooing on Lake Powell or Mead -Favorite TV shows: Cable: Dream On, Sopranos, (anything on) Animal Planet, Trading Spaces, the New Yankee Workshop and Band of Brothers. Network: Cheaters, Alias, Friends, Married With Children, CSI, SVU, Will & Grace, Malcolm in the Middle, and more. -What's on your mousepad: It was a picture of my puppy, but now I use an over-sized black pad. -In the car- a/c or windows: Unless it's obscenely hot, rainy or humid, my windows are ALWAYS DOWN. Gawd, I miss my Jeep CJ7. -Do you believe in yourself: 100% -Favorite game: Medal of Honor and Call of Duty for the PC. Playing pool at my house with friends...or Strip Twister, Strip Pool or Strip Darts with a woman. Scrabble, Boggle, Dominoes (Bones), Othello, Backgammon. -Favorite drink: Since I have never had any alcohol in my life...I have to say either milk or Wyler's raspberry (like Crystal Light...only cheaper and better tasting) -Favorite food: Orange Roughy, sushi, Edamame, Thai food, Italian (especially baked Ziti) -Favorite colors: Blue, Black, Silver -Favorite cigarettes: NONE! Although I have been known to light up a 'stogie' once in a while. -Favorite sounds: My dog "Scooby" snoring, my nephew's laughter, a woman's moans & groans -Favorite smell: NOT my dog Scooby's farts - he packs a punch! I love Vanilla candles and the smell of freshly cut wood in my workshop. -Favorite thing to do on a weekend: Day: hike with my 3 dogs or work on the house. Night: Either watch a DVD in my home theater, play pool with friends or sit in my 1940's chaise and listen to MP3s and watch the fish swim around in the tank. -Favorite soundtrack: Either "Raiders of the Lost Ark" (extended), "The Professional", "Aliens" (extended) or "Crimson Tide". -Where do you see yourself in 10 years: If I could tell you that, I would have been a "Psychic Friend." -First thought in the morning: "Oh great, now I have to pee while leaning forward" Well? It doesn't bend! The other thought... (spit spit) There is SO MUCH dog hair in my goatee." -Do you get motion sickness: Not really, unless I have to dance to country or disco. -Rollercoasters- deadly or exciting: not really into coasters -How many rings before you answer the phone: Weekdays: I forward my house phone to my cell, so I answer after a few rings. Weekends: I let voicemail get it. -Are you a good friend: I'm the guy who would go pick up a drunk friend so he/she didn't get a DUI or kill someone. I'm the guy who would bring meds and soup to sick friends. Anyone who is my friend will tell you they are glad to have me as a friend...especially on moving day. -Chocolate or Vanilla cake: Neither really... I'm more into chocolate pudding...smeared all over her ....wait....G RATED SHOW.....EDIT.... -What do you drive: an SUV... and I use it. For transporting, tools, dogs, people and camping gear. -Do you sleep with a stuffed animal: Well, she might be stuffed at times and she is an animal...my bestest puppy dawg Shayna. -Thunderstorms cool or scary: VERY cool....especially on nights were my bedroom's fireplace is blazing. Neither works for my dogs, but love the ambiance. -If you could meet one person in the World, who would it be: Walt Disney, Dr. Martin Luther King, my grandfather... all of whom have passed...all of whom I respect. Oh wait...Osama Bin Loser...that way I could be very wealthy - very quickly -What is your zodiac sign: Virgo...there is NO substitute. -What do you wear to bed: Last night I wore a few popcorn kernals and dog hair. Great visual, eh? In the summer: boxer briefs. In the Winter: Sweats. -Do you eat stems of broccoli: Yes, I do. -Guys- If a girl ever asked you for the shirt on your back, would you give it to her? Depends on if I had shaven my back hair that week. JUST KIDDING... of course I would, well unless hers was wet and I was enjoying the view. What? I'm a guy. -If you could have any occupation when you get older, what would it be: I would LOVE to be able to do voice overs for cartoons. I can do so many voices... wait..or is it that I hear so many voices? -If you could dye your hair one color, what would it be: I'm a GUY...we don't do hair drama. -If you could have a tattoo, what and where would it be: A Native American symbol on my shoulder. -Favorite brand of gum: Wrigley's - and not 'cuz my dad worked there as a kid in Chicago! -What is your favorite quote: "You're an immoral scumsucker who's moral dipstick is two drops short of bone-dry." - Fox Mulder. -Have you ever been in love: Yes...twice - 3 if you count the day I bought my house. -What's on your walls in your room: Cobwebs with dog hair in them, Native American art -Is the glass half-empty or half-full: If you drink from a full glass, to the half-way point: It's half empty. If you fill an empty glass to the half-way point: It's half full. -Which do you prefer- Cool Ranch or Nacho Cheese Doritos: Cool Ranch -Favorite flavor Snapple: Kiwi Strawberry -Which one, Coke or Pepsi: I'm a recovering Mountain Dew junkie, so I love Vanilla Pepsi. -Which kind of milk is your favorite: I went from low fat to 1% down to non-fat. STRAIGHT from the container, baby! -If you were to kill someone, which method would you use? If I was to catch Osama Been Hiding, I would get the money FIRST, then slice his main arteries and watch him bleed out. Then I would have him drawn & quartered and each of his limbs would be placed in urns at four places on the Earth. His torso would be cremated and his ashes would be sprinkled over Afghanistan. Hmmm... sounds like I have pent-up issues with this guy, huh? Well, I lost two friends on 9-11. -Are you a righty, lefty, or ambidextrous: Righty, but I can drive with both feet and I shoot lefty while playing hockey. -Do you type with your fingers on the right keys: I have to look, but I'm pretty fast for being self-taught. -When you meet a person of the opposite sex, you notice their: eyes, lips, tush. -What's under your bed: Scads of dog hair -What's the best number in the World: 44 -What is your dream car: Realistically speaking, the 2004 GMC Envoy XUV (with the retractable roof in the rear) or an Aston Martin Vanquish...LOL -Who is your biggest crush right now: Angelina Jolie...I have my blood vile all ready for her necklace!!!!!! -Nickname: Scooter -School: Ummmmm... I have graduated, but I went to Art Center College of Design. -Bacon Bits Or croutons: Neither -Favorite Salad Dressing: Thousand Island or Honey Dijan -Do you Drink: nope...not yet -What type of Shampoo/Conditioner: Aussie Mega -Have you ever been skinny dipping: sure -Do you make fun of people: The criminally stupid need to know that they're stupid. Otherwise, the old saying, "Ignorance is bliss" lingers on. -Have you ever been convicted of a crime: No. I was arrested once. I beat the crap out of a guy who beat up a woman in public. They dropped the charges. -One pillow or two: Four on my bed..I only use one - and it's the contour foam one. -Pets: 3 dogs: Shayna, Scooby & Mynka...and (currently) 16 fish. I sold my 2 snakes a few years back. -Favorite Movies: Raiders of the Lost Ark, Big, Glory, The Professional, Lady & the Tramp, Once Upon a Time in America, Princess Bride, A Fish Called Wanda, Dirty Rotten Scoundrels, T2, The Dirty Dozen, Patton, Old Yeller, Rear Window and SO MANY MORE. -Favorite type of music: Blues, Trance, Jazz, R & B, classic rock and soundtracks. -Hobbies: woodworking, collecting coins, vintage toys, old radios and lunchboxes. -Word or Phrase you overuse: "Niiiiice" or "Spank You Very Munch" -Toothpaste: Colgate and my trusty CyberSonic 2 toothbrush. -Piercing or tattoos: I have a pierced left ear but I haven't worn an earring in years. No tats...but I'm thinking about getting one. -Do you get along with your parents: Yes, except for the times mom tries to be the control freak. -Favorite beer: I never had any -Favorite song at the moment: Too many to list - mostly blues tunes. My faves are NOT from boy bands, teen-aged divas or freaks from TV reality shows. -Most humiliating moment: The first time I tried a Jet Ski. No one told me NOT to give it full throttle when trying to mount it...so my trunks ended up in the water while my nekkid butt skimmed across the ocean. -Favorite Holiday: Ground Hog Day. It just doesn't get the recognition it deserves. Ok really...I like Halloween and Thanksgiving. And one VERY IMPORTANT question that was left out: - When you change the toilet paper roll, do you install it flap over or under? OVER!!!!!!!  |
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