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Meet Ol' Sheep Guts Yet Again--TGTKY W/ODec 30 '03 Write an essay on this topic.
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The Bottom Line Yet another nauseating case of self-absorption and wiener abuse.
-Birth date: Yes -Height: Shorter than I used to be -Eye color: Blue -Hair color: light blond -What does your name mean: Sheep guts with oatmeal, boiled in a sheep stomach. Kinda makes you feel like grabbing a fork and digging in, doesn't it? -High school graduation year: Last Century -Favorite relatives: All of the dead ones -Summer memory: Waiting for the bell to ring on the last school day before summer vacation. -Favorite TV shows: Pretty much anything on History Channel, Food Channel, or Discovery. Much on PBS. -What's on your mousepad: Ashes -In the car- ac or windows: I have both, actually. -Do you believe in yourself: Of course. -Favorite game: I don’t do games -Favorite drink: Beer. More beer. Much more beer. -Favorite food: Any seafood. Lobster, in particular. -Favorite colors: Anything other than that nasty colored stuff I have been hacking up for the past week or so. -Favorite cigarettes: The ones I can get in Kentucky (cheaper). (Please note my affiliation with the Smokers Unite Club. Our motto:...and don’t bother - I don’t want to hear it, and don’t give a rat’s ass). Special thanks to badkittyM, Doc and Nedipooh for their inspiration and guidance. -Favorite sounds: Ooooooohhh! God! Yeeeeeeeessss. Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeessss. Right there. Yes. Right there. Don’t stop now. Yeeeeeeeesssssssssss. More! More! YEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!! -Favorite smell: Springtime -Favorite thing to do on a weekend: Sleep -Favorite soundtrack: Either Les Miz or West Side Story -Where do you see yourself in 10 years: Still trying to retire -First thought in the morning: Must…get…coffee…now -Do you get motion sickness: Only if I’m in a very small boat in a very big and very bouncy ocean. -Rollercoasters- deadly or exciting: Foolhardy -How many rings before you answer the phone: Two or three at work. Voice recognition at home. -Are you a good friend: Just ask my friends…er, friend…uh…never mind -Chocolate or Vanilla cake: Like there’s a choice? Chocolate, of course. -What do you drive: nails and a car -Do you sleep with a stuffed animal: Sometimes I sleep with a stuffed nose, but no animals. -Thunderstorms cool or scary: Very, very fun things, unless you happen to be stuck out in the middle of a golf course. -If you could meet one person in the World, who would it be: MobiProf -What is your zodiac sign: Hey! Thanks for askin’. So, do you come here often? -What do you wear to bed: A big smile -Do you eat stems of broccoli: Not stems, not tops, not sides, not bottoms, not roots -Guys- If a girl ever asked you for the shirt on your back, would you give it to her? Of course. But only if she’d do the same for me. -Girls- Would you ever ask a guy for his shirt? N/A -If you could have any occupation when you get older, what would it be: Exotic dancer -If you could dye your hair one color, what would it be: Ain’t happinin’ -If you could have a tattoo, what and where would it be: “Jihad This!” across my fat white ass -Favorite brand of gum: Well, Brownings are good, and Colt and Glocks, of course. Kinda depends on who and how you’re trying to kill…What? This is about gum? Oh. Never mind. -What is your favorite quote: I have traveled extensively throughout Concord—Thoreau -Have you ever been in love: Always -What's on your walls in your room: Cobwebs -Is the glass half-empty or half-full: Either way, you better fill it up again -Which do you prefer- Cool Ranch or Nacho Cheese Doritos: What? No one eats potato chips (AKA crisps) anymore? -Favorite flavor Snapple: Heineken -Which one, Coke or Pepsi: Heineken -Which kind of milk is your favorite: Heineken -If you were to kill someone, which method would you use? Sorry. I’m not giving up all my professional secrets here. -Are you a righty, lefty, or ambidextrous: Throws right, bats both -Do you type with your fingers on the right keys: Yes. Left keys too. -When you meet a person of the opposite sex, you notice their: Eyes. Yep. That’s it. Eyes for sure. None of that other stuff. Nuh uh. -What's under your bed: Judge Crater -What's the best number in the World: However many days there are left until spring. -What is your dream car: Anything paid for. -Who is your biggest crush right now: Stockholder -Nickname: Hags, Haggy, Great Chieftain O’ the Puddin’ Race, right wing fascist scum -School: Yes -Bacon Bits Or croutons: If they’re that processed garbage, neither. If they’re real, both. -Favorite Salad Dressing: oil & vinegar, bleu cheese, or whatever. -Do you Drink: Does a fish swim? -What type of Shampoo/Conditioner: Whatever is there -Have you ever been skinny dipping: Sure -Do you make fun of people: Only to their face. Any other way is cowardly -Have you ever been convicted of a crime: It depends how you define “convicted.” -One pillow or two: Lots -Pets: Still between dogs -Favorite Movies: I loved Braveheart and Gettysburg. Also older stuff like Anatomy of a Murder and anything with Tracy and Hepburn. -Favorite type of music: 40s, 50s, some 60s…rock, folk, blues, doo-wop, Motown -Hobbies: Scaring small children and catminton -Word or Phrase you overuse: “Inter-mammary sulcus” -Toothpaste: Yes -Piercing or tattoos: None currently -Do you get along with your parents: See question on favorite relatives for clue. -Favorite beer: Heineken, with and occasional stout or porter thrown in. -Favorite song at the moment: Anything, as long as it's not by Barry Manilow or Neil Diamond. -Most humiliating moment: Already addressed in an earlier masterbatory write-off. I ain’t gonna mention it twice. I’m still trying to live it down. -Favorite Holiday: Independence Day (American) Thanks sarahlovesadam for hosting this write off. To see who else she conned into doing this, go here.  |
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