Being a celebrity sometimes has its percs. Some actors will get recording contracts. Some singers will get the opportunity to try songs by artists they admire. Actors and singers alike have found themselves drawn to the music of the Beatles over the last four decades. While many artists have found the right Beatles song for their style, others have not. In 1997, Rhino Records assembled a collection of sixteen Fab Four covers that were released from 1966-74 for their compilation, Golden Throats 4: Celebrities Butcher Songs Of The Beatles. They prove how badly mismatched performers and material can be.

The one actor most closely associated with terrible song stylings is William Shatner. The man best known as Captain Kirk, in fact, never sings a note. He simply emotes words in the overblown way that is often associated with Shatner's acting. After venting his way through a Frank Devenport poem entitled "Spleen," Shatner segues into "Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds," and makes the song seem like an audio acid trip, complete with an echo effect when he says the word "gone." The poem and the song make a medley of wildly contrasting emotions. Joel Grey was already an acclaimed stage singer and actor when he did a cover of "She's Leaving Home." Grey sounds entirely too cheerful as he sings about a generation gap that has grown so large, a daughter has distanced herself from her parents.

Performers considerably older than the Beatles tried to show they were hip to the music of John, Paul, George, and Ringo. Mae West even had the rock band Somebody's Chyldren backing her as she recorded "Day Tripper." The problem was that while she could carry a tune, she couldn't hide a 74-year-old voice singing about the downside of dating. After a dramatic horn introduction entitled "In The Beginning," George Burns casually breaks into a rendition of "With A Little Help From My Friends." I don't think anybody who knows about the legendary comedian can imagine him getting high with any of his friends. He might offer his friends cigars, but I can't see him smoking any sort of funny tobacco. Bing Crosby tried his hand at one of the Beatles' most personal songs, "Hey Jude," which was written for John Lennon's son, Julian, as his parents divorced. Crosby not only sings as if he doesn't understand the emotions of the song, but he sings it in a key that is too low for his voice.

Before he became an Oscar-winning actor, Joe Pesci tried his hand at singing, billing himself as Little Joe. His take on "Got To Get You Into My Life" features Pesci shouting through the chorus, and generally sounding like one of some of the tough characters he has made famous in the movies. Erotic movie star Xaviera Hollander also got the opportunity to record some music. Her soft voice and sensous breathing, however, give her version of "Michelle" a decidedly kinky feel. While Hollander wooed with her voice, Telly Savalas tried to woo with a version of "Something" where he sings every line in one tone of voice. He changes his key from one line to the next, but never from note to note.

Two of the biggest audio assaults, though, come from the two covers of "Norwegian Wood" that appear on Golden Throats 4. Jan (Berry) & Dean (Torrence) may have had hits with "Surf City" and "The Little Old Lady From Pasadena," but their cover of the Beatles song tries to combine their surf sound with the sound of the British Invasion. There is so much musical discord in this song, someone should have invaded Jan & Dean's studio to stop it. Bandleader and choir director Alan Copeland won a Grammy for taking a bland rendition of the song with an indistinct chorus and combining it with Lalo Schifrin's "Mission: Impossible Theme." The song wins laughs these days as singers sing about a brief affair while dramatic music from a TV series about spies plays behind them. At least that music breaks up the bland singing.

Golden Throats 4 offers more mesmerizingly bad covers of Beatles songs than any other album I own, save for the movie soundtrack of Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band. Just because a performer is a Beatles fan doesn't mean that performer should give them a contract to do sing the songs of the Fab Four - or anybody else, in some cases. Most of the actors here prove they should not give up their day jobs to pursue careers in music. All of the singers showed how difficult it can be to interpret somebody else's material. Somewhere along the line, these fans of the Beatles songs created sounds that, in the broadest definition, pass for music. Golden Throats 4 collects some of the best misguided Beatles covers, and creates long and winding road of unintentional laughs.

Tracks:

1. In The Beginning/With A Little Help From My Friends - George Burns
2. She's Leaving Home - Joel Grey
3. Spleen/Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds - William Shatner
4. Something - Telly Savalas
5. Day Tripper - Mae West (with Somebody's Chyldren)
6. Hey Jude - Bing Crosby
7. Michelle - Xaviera Hollander
8. Mission: Impossible Theme/Norwegian Wood - Alan Copeland
9. Let It Be - Tennessee Ernie Ford
10. Got To Get You Into My Life - Joe Pesci
11. Revolution - The Brothers Four
12. She's A Woman - Noel Harrison
13. Jealous Guy/Don't Let Me Down - Claudine Longet
14. Piggies - Theodore Bikel
15. Norwegian Wood - Jan & Dean
16. A Hard Day's Night - George Maharis

This is more Database Diving for the write-off hosted by rkingfish. Click on the hyperlink to learn about other treasures that have been brought to the Epinions surface.

Thanks Rick.


Recommended: No

Great Music to Play While: Hanging With Friends