Everybody’s Doin’ It—So Why Shouldn’t I? (Getting To Know Each Other W/O)


Jan 6, 2004


The Bottom Line ... I’m a self-absorbed, shameless twit.

After a mini hiatus, I’m back—and what better way to start than with more things about me! I know you’re all just dying to find out. :oP


Birth date: December 4, 1952. If I’d been a boy, I’d have been NUMBER ONE in the Viet Nam Draft Lottery. Lucky, lucky me!

Height: 5'8". Used to be 5'9", but I lost a half-inch with each pregnancy. My feet grew a half size with each pregnancy. If I’d had too many kids, I’d have ended up looking like a big L.

Eye color: Dark, dark brown. Black when I’m very angry. (Watch out!)

Hair color: Dark brown at birth. Dark brown now. Thank you, Preference. :o)

What does your name mean? One source says “Joyful.” The other says “Pure. Virginal.” You decide. Heh.

High school graduation year: 1971, before most of you writers were born. God, I’m old.

Favorite relatives: I have a great family. I love ‘em all!

Summer memory: All summers between school years. They were like paroles between my 12-year jail sentence.

Favorite TV shows: Not much on TV, but I love it when HBO is running The Sopranos or Six Feet Under.

What's on your mousepad? A mouse. That’s it.

In the car—AC or windows open? I live in humid Virginia, often referred to as The Armpit of The South. What do you think?

Do you believe in yourself? If I won’t, who will?

Favorite game: Right now it’s Fowl Words, downloaded from kewlbox.com.

Favorite drink: Many, but I’m always up for a Russian Quaalude!

Favorite food: Everything I shouldn’t be eating: chocolate, potatoes, French toast, cherry cheesecake, pizza, greasy hot dogs black from the grill…….

Favorite colors: Black, red.

Favorite cigarettes: Bailey’s Menthol Lights. Good and cheap! (And NO, my teeth are not stained and my breath don’t stank.)

Favorite sounds: The ocean, birds, laughter, good music. If you asked me the funniest sounds, I’d have to be honest and say……. farts.

Favorite smell: There’s nothing any better than Johnson’s baby powder.

Favorite thing to do on a weekend: Absolutely nothing. With friends or alone, I don’t want to be pressured to do a thing.

Favorite soundtrack: Any movie score by James Horner.

Where do you see yourself in 10 years? I hope I’m still walking without a cane!

First thought in the morning: “I gotta pee…”

Do you get motion sickness? Only once—on a sailboat. Must’ve been that empty stomach…

Rollercoasters—deadly or exciting? Got wussy in my old age. I hate ‘em.

How many rings before you answer the phone? I won’t answer it unless I know who’s calling. Then, perhaps 2 rings.

Are you a good friend? To those who deserve my friendship, always.

Chocolate or vanilla cake? Chocolate, but I’d rather have pie.

What do you drive? A cheap sports car.

Do you sleep with a stuffed animal? Before I moved in with Mr. Happy, I slept with a big, white teddy bear he gave me one Christmas.

Thunderstorms—cool or scary? Especially scary after seeing lightning strike a neighbor’s house, which then burned to the ground.

If you could meet one person in the world, who would it be? Hmmmm… I’d like to meet Britney or Paris so I could…what else…beat the crap out of her.

What is your zodiac sign? Sagitarrius.

What do you wear to bed? Heh.

Do you eat stems of broccoli? Why not?

Would you ever ask a guy for his shirt? I like a man who will give me the shirt off his back, but I doubt I’d ask him for it.

If you could have any occupation when you get older, what would it be? I hated working (*lazy!*), so hopefully I’ll stay retired!

If you could dye your hair one color, what would it be? It’s already dyed. Dark brown. Those gray roots look just plain nasty!

If you could have a tattoo, what and where would it be? Already got one. A teeny, tiny star on my right shoulder blade. Got it to match my daughter’s.

Favorite brand of gum: Bazooka, although I hardly ever chew gum any more.

What is your favorite quote? I have many, but one of them is “Remember… there’s a little kid inside all of us. Once in a while, let the kid out to play.

Have you ever been in love? Yep.

What's on your walls in your room? My walls are covered with pictures and assorted shelves, etc. My favorites are framed pictures of my kids when they were younger and some of their elementary school artwork. My brother is a photographer who owns a frame shop—so, needless to say, my walls are full!

Is the glass half-empty or half-full? If I’m pouring it, half-full. If I’m drinking it, half-empty.

Which do you prefer—Cool Ranch or Nacho Cheese Doritos? I’d rather have plain tortilla chips dipped in chile con queso.

Favorite flavor Snapple: Not much on Snapple.

Which one, Coke or Pepsi: Either, as long as it’s diet.

Which kind of milk is your favorite? Cow.

If you were to kill someone, which method would you use? Don’t think I could kill anyone, but I’ve thought about it from time to time! But usually it’s more like, “I’d like to beat the crap outta him/her!” I know, I know, I’m bad.

Are you a righty, lefty, or ambidextrous? I’m always right. Just ask my husband.

Do you type with your fingers on the right keys? Right and left keys. Almost always on the correct keys!

When you meet a person of the opposite sex, you notice their: Eyes, smile, personality, and butt. In that order.

What's under your bed? Plastic storage boxes holding Mr. Happy’s shoes. I had to get the man organized, otherwise I’d spend the rest of my days tripping over his running shoes, dress shoes, and other assorted sh*t-kickers.

What's the best number in the world: 7, 12, and 26. (Oh, did you say number? Sorry, can’t choose just one.)

What is your dream car? Really doesn’t matter as long as it looks up-to-date, is dependable, and isn’t an SUV. (Awright, Doc, I hear ya.)

Who is your biggest crush right now? Orange Crush. I always liked that REM song.

Nickname: My kids call me Mom or Moo. My husband calls me… nah, not gonna tell ya.

School: Hated it.

Bacon Bits or croutons? Caesar croutons on a Caesar salad.

Favorite salad dressing: Depends on the salad. From the grocery, Paul Newman.

Do you drink? If I didn’t, I’d be dead, now wouldn’t I?

What type of shampoo/conditioner? You’d never know by peeking in my shower. There are at least 5 of each in there. (Can you believe he married me???)

Have you ever been skinny dipping? Hehe.

Do you make fun of people? Errrrrrrrrrrr…. who, me?

Have you ever been convicted of a crime? No, I’m nice!

One pillow or two? One big fat one.

Pets: Heavy pets are the best. ;o)

Favorite Movies: Soooo many. Off the top of my head, A River Runs Through It, The Wizard of Oz, Dances With Wolves, Shawshank Redemption, Legends of The Fall, The Usual Suspects…

Favorite type of music: Brit rock, 80s tunes, doo-wop, classical, almost anything but hard rock, some rap, and yee-haw country.

Hobbies: Things that put my artistic ability to good use.

Word or phrase you overuse: You’d think by reading my reviews it was “beat the crap out of” someone… but it’s really probably “Sh*t!” (Don’t tell Mom!)

Toothpaste: Arm & Hammer Advance White with baking soda & peroxide. Use that with Targon mouthwash, and no one can tell I smoke.

Piercing or tattoos? Five holes in my ears, but I wear only 4 earrings now. One tattoo. I’m so cool.

Do you get along with your parents? Dad died in 1985, and yep, I still get along with Mom. Long as I don’t cuss too much around her.

Favorite beer: I freakin’ can’t stand beer, but there is a good, raspberry-flavored beer called Frambozen Bier from Belgium. Keep me away from it, or I’ll drink the whole bottle!

Favorite song at the moment: I hate all the crap I hear on Top 40s stations these days. Now if you wanna know what song is going through my head right now, it’s Little Red Corvette by Prince… LOL. (Where the heck did that come from?)

Most humiliating moment: Wow, who knows. Too many to mention. Maybe the time I was running up the steps in high school, trying to avoid a guy I used to date who was standing at the bottom of the stairs with his new girlfriend. I tripped on the top step, books went flying everywhere, and my pleated skirt flipped up over my head. It was like an unplanned, pantyhose moon.

Favorite holiday: All of them that revolve around food. Yum yum eat’m up.



OK, y’all can wake up now!


If you’d like to read the rest of the entries, check out the list at the adorable Sarah’s W/O review!

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About Me: Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see. ~MarkTwain