Every Little Thing Becky Does Is Magic! (GTKY W/O - circle jerk edition)


Jan 10, 2004


The Bottom Line The Bottom Line thinks rollercoasters are exciting!!!

It's no secret that the world has been clamoring to hear the most intimate, personal, and revealing details of Becky's life. But that coy little minx has been playing hard-to-get...until now. At last, everything that you ever wanted to know about Eps's favorite hard-rockin' karaoke star!

Birth date: I was born in the wagon of a travelin’ show.

-Height: What Becky lacks in height, she makes up for in Cherosity.

-Eye color: Unknown – Becky is never seen in public without her trademark 8-ball designer contacts.

-Hair color: Generally concealed under a magenta pageboy wig.

-What does your name mean: “Beck” is an homage to the waifish musician of the same name. “Ytcy” we’ve never been able to figure out, but it could be Welsh for “Cher RULZ.”

-High school graduation year: 2004!!! CLASS OF 㤌 FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!

-Favorite relatives: Yo’ mama.

-Summer memory: The fine, fine food served at the Boulder Station Café.

-Favorite TV shows: Anything imported from England; preferably, something imported from England, converted to American tastes, and thereby utterly ruined.

-What's on your mousepad: Legolas, in all his manly elven glory.

-In the car- Mac or windows: Becky’s a Microsoft girl all the way. Even in the car!

-Do you believe in life after love: Becky hears a voice inside her say, “I really don’t think I’m strong enough.”

-Favorite game: Strip Uno.

-Favorite drink: Becky doesn’t drink. Alcohol is for losers.

-Favorite food: Peeled grapes, lovingly hand-fed to her by a thong-clad Jarvis Cocker.

-Favorite colors: Black and Tan.

-Favorite cigarettes: Becky buys bulk tobacco and rolls ‘em herself.

-Favorite sounds: The sweet, sweet strains of karaoke.

-Favorite smell: The savory smell of poutine, fresh from the food court.

-Favorite thing to do on a weekend: Every Saturday, Becky polishes her Cher CDs and inspects them for signs of wear and tear. If necessary, she will then go out and purchase replacements, to maintain the pristine quality of her listening experience.

-Favorite soundtrack: “Encino Man.” Becky just likes it for the picture of Pauly Shore, though.

-Where do you see yourself in 10 years: In the mirror, mostly.

-First thought in the morning: “God, I love being a temp!”

-Do you get motion sickness: Only on deadly/exciting rollercoasters.

-Rollercoasters- deadly or exciting: Wicked exciting!

-How many rings before you answer the phone: As long as it takes for her cellphone to finish playing its rendition of “If I Could Turn Back Time.”

-Are you a good friend: Every little thing Becky does is magic.

-Chocolate or Vanilla cake: Becky likes her cake like she likes her men: rich, dark, and sweet.

-What do you drive: Taxi, taxi, turn off your light, I’m gonna ride with you all night.

-Do you sleep with a stuffed animal: Becky sleeps with a plush Austin Powers doll, which was given to her as a gag gift but which she secretly finds kind of sexy.

-Thunderstorms cool or scary: Thunderstorms cool.

-If you could meet one person in the World, who would it
be:
George W. Bush. Becky, like, has the biggest crush on him ever.

-What is your zodiac sign: Music and candlelight, stars up above.

-What do you wear to bed: A dainty lace teddy and a champagne silk peignoir, of course, like a proper lady would.

-Do you eat stems of broccoli: Broccoli stems are the staple of Becky’s diet, in fact.

-Guys- If a girl ever asked you for the shirt on your back,
would you give it to her?
N/A

-Girls- Would you ever ask a guy for his shirt? Ewww. No. Shirts are sweaty.

-If you could have any occupation when you get older, what
would it be:
Man-wrangler backstage at the Men of Eps Strip Revue.

-If you could dye your hair one color, what would it be: GOBBLEDYGOOK

-If you could have a tattoo, what and where would it be: Becky can, and does, have a tattoo of the fiery Elvish script from the Lord of the Rings across her back. It’s hardcore.

-Favorite brand of gum: One night with you lyin’ here with me, it’s the right thing to do, it would be ecstasy.

-What is your favorite quote: “Don’t worry, be happy!!!!!!”

-Have you ever been in love: Love’s like a knife, it can cut deep inside.

-What's on your walls in your room: Wall-to-wall mirrors! They come in handy more ways than you might think.

-Is the glass half-empty or half-full: Who cares? Either way, it’s time for the guy to buy another round.

-Which do you prefer- Cool Ranch or Nacho Cheese Doritos: Ketchup.

-Favorite flavor Snapple: The Indians said I was white by law, the white man always called me “Indian squaw.”

-Which kind of milk is your favorite: Becky is a friend of the nog.

-If you were to kill someone, which method would you use? Becky the Vampire Slayer needs nothing more than her awesome fighting powers and a wooden stake.

-Are you a righty, lefty, or ambidextrous: Only Austin Powers knows for sure.

-Do you type with your fingers on the right keys: It would seem so.

-When you meet a person of the opposite sex, you notice
their:
Accent.

-What's under your bed: The shattered, broken bodies of the men Becky has used, abused, and thrown aside.

-What's the best number in the World: Becky once had a brief summer thing with 58, but it was nothing serious. Deep down, though, her heart will always belong to her childhood sweetheart, 2,674.

-What is your dream car: Becky longs for a Hummer, in a classy pearlescent-pink color.

-Who is your biggest crush right now: Dubya. Oh, he may not look like much, but Becky adores his politics.

-Nickname: “The Bexinator”

-School: Of Rock!

-Bacon Bits Or croutons: Please. Toasted rosemary-and-garlic focaccia chunks, lightly kissed with herb-infused olive oil.

-Favorite Salad Dressing: Ranch.

-Do you Drink: No. Drinking is for losers; Becky gets high on life.

-What type of Shampoo/Conditioner: Becky has Jhirmack bounce-back beautiful hair, though she’s been known to sneak behind Jhirmack’s back for a totally organic experience now and then.

-Have you ever been skinny dipping: Well, a girl’s got to wash the booze-and-cigarettes reek off her body somehow…

-Do you make fun of people: Heck, no! Making fun of people is just plain mean.

-Have you ever been convicted of a crime: Not under this name, no.

-One pillow or two: When I look up from my pillow, I dream you are there with me.

-Pets: Becky cherishes Lemon Drop, her albino ferret.

-Favorite Movies: Becky is a devoted fan of Bollywood and has an extensive collection of Eastern hits.

-Favorite type of music: Though aware of the musical contributions of influential bands like Poison and KISS, Becky can’t quite shake her long-standing affection for Rush.

-Hobbies: Becky can often be found organizing and mounting her prized stamp collection, which has won several state-wide awards. She’s currently campaigning to have a “Stamps” category added to the Eps database.

-Word or Phrase you overuse: “Bodacious.”

-Toothpaste: Overrated.

-Piercing or tattoos: Karaoke!

-Do you get along with your parents: Get along with ‘em? Hell, she lives with ‘em!

-Favorite beer: Becky likes her beer like she likes her men: weak, pale, and nutty. With a thick cream head.

-Favorite song at the moment: The one she’ll be performing for her Donny & Marie number at the local hospital’s charity cabaret.

-Most humiliating moment: As if we'd ever forget. The marshmallow fluff? The miniature pony? Lemon Drop still has nightmares about that New Year's Eve...

-Favorite Holiday: Christmas, Christmas, CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!

For more information on this most engrossing of W/Os, please go here

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