29

Jan 15 '04    Write an essay on this topic.


The Bottom Line 29

There is a man on this site that is just more special than everyone else. A person that is at least 29 times stronger, smarter and sexier than even me the very sexy, strong and smart Mr. Stockholder. I’m a very generous man (though I am only 1/29th as generous as Jim/29th) so I will share with the rest of Epinions.com what I already know to be the beauty of 29 and Jim.

I have wasted much time in the past stalking people on Epinions.com and in the end, got nothing out of it but restraining orders, death threats and unwelcome responses when I knock on the front doors of these ungrateful dirty-birdies that don’t deserve me to begin with. But now I have found my life mate when it comes to finding fulfillment in stalking. Jim/29th is my dream come true, he will tolerate almost anything, for example, I arrived last week at Jim’s house wearing nothing but underwear made out of 29 different flowers and he invited me in to play Scrabble and give him a massage. What more could you ask for?

I want to invite all of Epinions.com in enjoying Jim/29th, please join me in stalking him and living by the 29. I will need everyone to come up with his or her 29 ways to pay tribute to Jim/ 29th_candidate


1 I will call and hang-up on Jim 29-times every night.

2 I will write Jim a love song with 29 verses.

3 Although I am a man in my early 70's, I will forever be 29 in my heart.

4 I masturbate with 29 strokes per minute.

5 I tried 29 per-second (not a good idea).

6 I was on a diet with a goal to lose 29 lbs.

7 I could not do it so I decided to gain 29 lbs.

8 I now have only 29 perfectly plucked and groomed pubic hairs.

9 I no longer get my mail due to the fact that I changed the address on my mailbox to 2929 29th avenue.

10 I came very close to killing myself after drinking 29 beers.

11 The same night I paid 29-dollars for oral when I only needed to pay $20.

12 I wear New York Yankees jersey number 29 at all times.

13 The temperature in my apartment is currently set at 29 degrees.

14 I will leave it there until I am sick for 29 days.

15 I ordered 29 pizzas to my next-door neighbor 29 nights in a row from 29 different pizza places.

16 I reconfigured the calendar on my wall – each month now has only 29 days – to most people today is Thursday but it is Saturday in my world.

17 I pay my polock landlord the monthly rent 29 dollars every day for 29 days (my rent is $800 a month – it is well worth the extra $41 dollars).

18 My WOT will consist of only 29 writers of 29ths choice.

19 I will tip 29 percent at every restaurant I eat at.

20 All 29 of them.

21 I will never call my fat slob son-in-law an idiot more than 29 times a day.

22 I will change my underwear every 29 days (no change).

23 I will only buy 29 items when I go to the grocery store.

24 I will get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Tootsie Pop in 29 licks.

25 I have the number 29 tattooed between my man-boobs.

26 I scream at the top of my lungs for my bus driver to SLOW DOWN every time he exceeds 29 MPH.

27 I have replaced my favorite sexual position the 69 for the new and improved 29.

28 I will use the word SCADS at least 29 times a day.

29 I will think of 29 different ways to be a better stalker than AJ.






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About the Author

stockholder
Epinions.com ID: stockholder
Member: Chuck Broginger
Location: Chicago
Reviews written: 67
Trusted by: 181 members
About Me: I am back !