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Do I Suck? Why Yes! Yes I Do! (The Anti-Moi W/O)
by millinocket | Jan 17 '04
If you suck bad enough do they kick you out of the PTA?

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Comments on Do I Suck? Why Yes! Yes I Do! (The Anti-Moi W/O)" (30 total) View all
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Date Written
Re: Re: Re: Boy, Do You Ever Suck (Reply to this comment)
by millinocket
C,

Hold on, I was originally invited to your wedding?

You were a bridesmaid - it was your Kate Beckinsale period.

Did it get lost in the mail?

No, I had to uninvite you - logistics. Plus, you refused to wear the dress and I, being the suckmeister that I am, refused to let you wear pants.

I'll definitely need those Isis superpowers to travel back in time now.

You do - but if you're going to use them you must brush up on your...

oh, mighty Iiiiiiissssiisssssss......

It's harder than it looks.

Man, I have to find some of those old shows - I wonder if they're out on DVD anywhere? It would be such fun to see them - I bet mininocket would love them.

Sue
Dec 02 '06
12:45 pm PST

Re: Re: Boy, Do You Ever Suck (Reply to this comment)
by elvisdo
Admit it - you're just afraid I'll kick you out of my wedding.....with my Isis superpowers.

Hold on, I was originally invited to your wedding? Did it get lost in the mail? I'll definitely need those Isis superpowers to travel back in time now.

~C
Dec 01 '06
5:12 am PST

Re: Boy, Do You Ever Suck (Reply to this comment)
by millinocket
C,

... but I still love ya!

Admit it - you're just afraid I'll kick you out of my wedding.....with my Isis superpowers.

I still think this was the greatest of the "getting to know you" write offs. Munkus is a genius!

Sue
Nov 30 '06
8:44 am PST

Boy, Do You Ever Suck (Reply to this comment)
by elvisdo
... but I still love ya!

~C
Nov 29 '06
2:08 pm PST

Re: You Suck? Nawwwwwww! (Reply to this comment)
by millinocket
Deborah,

That is an amazing coincidence! I love that they put a plaque in the room. I saved my lushery until after the miscarriage, but then indulged to excess. It was not pretty. But it was quite therapeutic! :)

Sue
Feb 14 '04
4:59 pm PST

You Suck? Nawwwwwww! (Reply to this comment)
by ruby950
You are wonderful! And regarding drinking and pregnancy......I became pregnant in Lake Geneva twice in two years, after being way over served, in the same guest room, at the same house, on the same dates. There is now a plaque hanging on the door of that room! Both pregnancies were miscarriages. I don't blame the poor babies, they thought their mother was a lush!

This was great fun!
Deborah~
Feb 12 '04
5:27 am PST

Re: Suckiness Is In The Eye Of The Beholder (Reply to this comment)
by millinocket
29th,

Sue, I'm sorry, but your negative vacuum (suckiness) quotient doesn't even disturb the needle on the suckometer.

Dammit. Does that mean I suck at sucking (um, so to speak..)? Then I must really suck.

I'm not going to belittle or demean you merely because saints have been cannonized while exhibiting suckiness levels far more damning than yours.

~sniff~ You are a kind and gentle soul.

Let's just say I hope that on judgment day, I'm standing close to you on line so I can make my Stygian bright side seem relatively phosphorescent by basking in the comparatively radiant luminescence of your darkside.

Deal. You'll be able to find me by looking for the pale wimp wearing only socks. Shouldn't be too difficult. But I warn you now - if you fall asleep while in line, I will trample your wicked soul with my sock clad feet, leaving your suckiness to fend for itself. Judgment day can make even the suckiest whup-ass phobes among us turn into ruthless beasts. Be afraid, be very afraid.........

Sue
Feb 05 '04
9:28 am PST

Suckiness Is In The Eye Of The Beholder (Reply to this comment)
by 29th_Candidate


Sue, I'm sorry, but your negative vacuum (suckiness) quotient doesn't even disturb the needle on the suckometer. I gave you a VH, because I could sense that you honestly believe that the responses you provided represent abject suckiness. I'm not going to belittle or demean you merely because saints have been cannonized while exhibiting suckiness levels far more damning than yours. You wrote a very entertaining review, so that wouldn't be sporting. Let's just say I hope that on judgment day, I'm standing close to you on line so I can make my Stygian bright side seem relatively phosphorescent by basking in the comparatively radiant luminescence of your darkside.

--29th
Feb 05 '04
5:53 am PST

Re: Bravo Sue! (Reply to this comment)
by millinocket
Karen,

Kudos... this was great!

In a sucky kind of way, of course ;)

I've got the whole white, translucent thing going on too! Hate it!

Well, we should all try and look on the bright side, we've got our own built in reflectors for walking at night!

Bet you are awful darn cute with just your socks on!

Depends on the socks...........:)

Sue

Jan 27 '04
12:22 pm PST

Bravo Sue! (Reply to this comment)
by toospoiled
Kudos... this was great!

I've got the whole white, translucent thing going on too! Hate it!

Bet you are awful darn cute with just your socks on!

Hugs,
Karen
Jan 26 '04
7:27 am PST

Re: Re: Re: Rock out with your socks out (Reply to this comment)
by millinocket
PastryDis,

Of course it wouldn't. How do you think they make eclairs?

Hey, yeah............Ewwwww!

Oh my God, did you hear about "Easy Bake" Sue? I heard she totally did it with some Dude under the bleachers at the football game!!!

Anything to avoid actually having to watch football.

Beware! It's just a few short steps from bizarrely inappropriate pet names to matching jogging suits. If I see you guys with matching fanny packs, I'll have to mercy-kill you.

And we'll deserve it. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to surreptitiously dispose of some jogging suits and fanny packs.....

Maybe The Dude will help!

Easy BS
Jan 25 '04
9:15 am PST

Re: Re: Rock out with your socks out (Reply to this comment)
by disinclined
Easy Bake,

But that would ruin perfectly good tiny cakes.

Of course it wouldn't. How do you think they make eclairs?

If I'm not sucking, I'm blowing. Wait, that didn't come out quite right...

Oh my God, did you hear about "Easy Bake" Sue? I heard she totally did it with some Dude under the bleachers at the football game!!!

What do you suppose people would say if we were to wander around at parties saying things like "Would you like another drink, Dude?" "Why, yes, thank you, Easy Bake."

Beware! It's just a few short steps from bizarrely inappropriate pet names to matching jogging suits. If I see you guys with matching fanny packs, I'll have to mercy-kill you.

dissy bake
Jan 24 '04
10:44 pm PST

Re: Rock out with your socks out (Reply to this comment)
by millinocket
Dis,

What about "Do me, do my tiny Easy Bake cakes"?

But that would ruin perfectly good tiny cakes. I can't have that.

Or, "Don't blow it!"

Now this one, I live and breathe. If I'm not sucking, I'm blowing. Wait, that didn't come out quite right......

In fact, maybe you could get The Dude to start calling you "Easy Bake," as a pet name (kind of). Not only does it sound vaguely slutty, but it's the kind of endearment a true flotch can be proud of! Think about it, won't you?

Ahahahahahahaha! I'm going to suggest that to him. What do you suppose people would say if we were to wander around at parties saying things like "Would you like another drink, Dude?" "Why, yes, thank you, Easy Bake." Bet we'd be going to all sorts of gala bashes. For the insane......

Easy Bake Sue
Jan 23 '04
9:46 pm PST

Re: Okay, we know that you suck (Reply to this comment)
by millinocket
Chris,

You breathe, therefore you suck

Another fine motto!

I wanna know some gory details, I want guts and glory.

You can't handle the truth, baby.

This is just... sucky.

Thank you!!

Still, as a certified sucker, you're taking one step further to being one of us.

Which, as you well know, has been my goal all along.

You gonna be doing any sucking at The Crispy's? Bring your waterwings.

I suck at all times. I knew there was going to be swimwear involved. I need to consult my fashion co-ordinator.......

Sucky Sue
Jan 23 '04
9:40 pm PST

Rock out with your socks out (Reply to this comment)
by disinclined
Sue,

So my motto is: Do me, do my socks.

What about "Do me, do my tiny Easy Bake cakes"? Or, "Don't blow it!" Inspiring mottos, all of them.

In fact, maybe you could get The Dude to start calling you "Easy Bake," as a pet name (kind of). Not only does it sound vaguely slutty, but it's the kind of endearment a true flotch can be proud of! Think about it, won't you?

dis
Jan 23 '04
7:19 pm PST

Okay, we know that you suck (Reply to this comment)
by Simply_Crispy
You breathe, therefore you suck Sue. Tell us something we don't know already. I wanna know some gory details, I want guts and glory. This is just... sucky.

Still, as a certified sucker, you're taking one step further to being one of us.

Chris

PS
You gonna be doing any sucking at The Crispy's? Bring your waterwings.
Jan 23 '04
9:14 am PST

Re: Sue rocks my socks! (Reply to this comment)
by millinocket
Anduitch,

Do you think it would work if I printed off your picture and used it to ward off panhandlers?

It would probably have to be an icy cold staring scary picture, which you would have to wear as a mask, but that might do it, yes.

Please tell me you hung up on Planned Parenthood when they called back. I had a fireman get all het up on me over the phone when I wouldn't contribute to their charity drive. As I was hanging up all I could think was what kind of a fool are you to cost your cause any and all future donations I may have ever given?

I didn't talk to her - Mr. M caught the call, and didn't give her any money. Now it all goes to the local chapter. I've had the same experience with the fireman's and policeman's funds, but I'm scared to be mean to them. They might whup my ass.

I have a tic-tac-toe grid on the top of my left foot. Unfortunately I can't get anyone to play with me.

Are you serious? Man, in this house, if I gave each kid a marker and said, "Let's play tic-tac-toe on Mommy's foot!", they'd have me tattooed from head to toe in a matter of seconds. I'm not sure I want tattoos of stick people and dinosaurs. I'm such a party pooper.

Sue
Jan 21 '04
10:06 pm PST

Sue rocks my socks! (Reply to this comment)
by panguitch
Do you think it would work if I printed off your picture and used it to ward off panhandlers? I'd promise only to use it on the dangerously persistent ones.

Please tell me you hung up on Planned Parenthood when they called back. I had a fireman get all het up on me over the phone when I wouldn't contribute to their charity drive. As I was hanging up all I could think was what kind of a fool are you to cost your cause any and all future donations I may have ever given?

As for feet veins, I kid you not, I have a tic-tac-toe grid on the top of my left foot. Unfortunately I can't get anyone to play with me.

-Andy
Jan 21 '04
4:18 pm PST

Re: Question... (Reply to this comment)
by millinocket
Well, Simon,

This is an interesting conundrum. While I prefer the socks, it's hot here in the summer, and I go weeks on end without them, thus the "do me, do my socks" credo really only applies to the nine plus months of the year when socks are appropriate here. As for the beach in Aruba, I'll let you know when I go there..........;)

Sue
Jan 21 '04
8:34 am PST

Question... (Reply to this comment)
by slarter
... how far does the 'Do me, do my socks' dictum extend? Is this preference a function of the climate in your area, or more of a circulatory dysfunction. Would passion on a beach in Aruba be accompanied by toasty, toe-warming knee-length socks? How about in a hot tub?

Curious Cheers!

Simon
Jan 20 '04
2:27 pm PST

Re: ... (Reply to this comment)
by millinocket
Jennifer,

I do believe that the entire upper Midwest is a haven for the pasty. It's nice, because for at least nine months out of the year, nobody can reasonably expect me to have a tan, nor can they really see my translucent inner arms as they are hidden beneath a comforting six layers of sweaters. I knew there was a reason I live here!! :)

Sue
Jan 19 '04
9:03 pm PST

Re: boo! (Reply to this comment)
by millinocket
Kokladj,

But the real question is, do you glow in the dark?

I don't. Maybe the freckles mitigate this beneficial effect.

I constantly thank my lucky stars that I live in a modern enough time that I can buy a tan in a bottle..

Now here we have the freckle issue again. I fear the tan in a bottle (though not as much as I fear the ass-whup) - for I am unsure of the effect such a product would have on them. Would the freckles get tan, too? Would the tan in a bottle merge the freckles if applied very, very carefully? I'm not ready for the answers to those questions.

Sue
Jan 19 '04
9:00 pm PST

Re: ----------- (Reply to this comment)
by millinocket
Jack,

Gee, are you sure you weren't offered a place in the Bush administration's cabinet or a returning guest spot on Rush Limbaugh's mean-spirited show?

Oh, no. They fear me just like the panhandlers.

I briefly dated this babe in '91 who won the Miss Pecan or Miss Watagua or whatever Miss Something contest, and she was white like you couldn't believe.

Well, thank God. The thing that preys upon me more than any other is the thought "Is my skin too pale for me to date Jack?" I feel so much better now :P

Sure you're not part of the Addam's family?

No, not sure at all, as a matter of fact.....

Who did this punk think he is, stealing my system of getting the kiss and the break-up done in the same hour?

Well, he was eleven, so I'm not sure if this is still his M.O.

Jack, really, you could do one of these pieces focusing solely on your VD. Oh, the humanity.

Sue
Jan 19 '04
8:55 pm PST

Re: all you need are donuts (Reply to this comment)
by millinocket
Brian,

You are the sort of woman who drifts by because the panhandlers are busy eyeing my approach from fifty feet away.

Actually, I think they just happen to bump into you as they flee from me. Cold, cold me.

On the other hand, if i could train Cindy to give birth to a Volkswagen Beetle, it would instantly save us far more money than i've ever given away in random dollar bills.

Alas, only giant nine pound babies ever appeared, no transportation. But giving the appearance of incubating transportation is one of my greatest gifts. ~sniff~ I'm so proud......

Sue
Jan 19 '04
8:50 pm PST

... (Reply to this comment)
by LoisLane05
You said where you come from is "notorious for its plethora of pasty white people." Me too, here in frozen North Dakota! :0) Good answers to really tough questions!

Jennifer
Jan 19 '04
3:21 pm PST

boo! (Reply to this comment)
by kokladj
I am, without question, the whitest non-albino white person in the state of Wisconsin

But the real question is, do you glow in the dark? I do, so don't feel too terribly bad.. At least I don't need candles or flashlights when the power goes out & I never trip over anything on the way to the bathroom in the middle of the night..

Ah well.. I constantly thank my lucky stars that I live in a modern enough time that I can buy a tan in a bottle..
Jan 19 '04
3:05 pm PST

all you need are donuts (Reply to this comment)
by voxpoptart
Bolstering this theory: no panhandler has ever, ever, approached me.

Ah, see, they approach me all the time. You are the sort of woman who drifts by because the panhandlers are busy eyeing my approach from fifty feet away. On the other hand, if i could train Cindy to give birth to a Volkswagen Beetle, it would instantly save us far more money than i've ever given away in random dollar bills. Cindy likes Beetles. (I prefer Beatles and mass transit, but what can you do?)

cheers,
- Brian
Jan 19 '04
5:27 am PST

Re: vvvVvvv (Reply to this comment)
by millinocket
Tom,

Those morons that go too slow and those maniacs that drive to fast. They all deserve it! I have the same problem...

They do, damn it! But it has been pointed out that letting them know this may result in an ass kicking. I'm currently performing a cost/benefit analysis of the situation to see if the good, good feeling of delivering the finger outweighs the potential butt damage. I'll let you know.

Sue
Jan 18 '04
9:59 pm PST

Re: All this talk... (Reply to this comment)
by millinocket
Simon,

of sucking, shagging, and (ahem) dungeons is mildly arousing.

Getting that webcam feeling again?

Feel free to elaborate on any of the above topics, for all of our (translation: my) edification (and enjoyment).

Hold on, let me get my socks and sunscreen...........;)

Sue
Jan 18 '04
9:56 pm PST

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: . (Reply to this comment)
by millinocket
Tom,

Oh my gawd! . . . lameness is contagious !!

Oh, yeah. Did I forget to mention that? Oh, that's a shame.

Sue
Jan 18 '04
9:54 pm PST
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