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Final score: 2112 to "Roll the Bones" (Reply to this comment)
by mfunk75
Voxy-
If I accomplish anything Great in my life, Oddball is my best bet so far
It saddens me that you didn't immediately point to your "Citizen Kane" review. That being said, these rules are indeed Great. Though I'm not optimistic for the game's chances of success in America, due to its reliance on the soccer field. It should take Europe and South America by storm, though.
I'm trying to decide who I would pick first, should I one day become captain while choosing up sides for a game of Oddball. I think, given the game's focus on drumming and the ability to make up original song lyrics, that I'll go with Neil Peart. And we shall dominate like no team has dominated before.
Rummaging around in the back catalogue, I'm the Oddballist known as
-mike
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Jul 16 '04
9:01 am PDT
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Hey, Poptart, you been in the toaster too long? ;) (Reply to this comment)
by xis_
VP, you are one crazy (and creative) guy!!! Keep it coming -- the world needs more lightheartedness.
...x
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Mar 11 '04
10:50 am PST
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Re: This is - (Reply to this comment)
by voxpoptart
That's not scary, Virginia! It's inspiring. Feel good.
cheers,
- Brian
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Feb 03 '04
1:50 am PST
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This is - (Reply to this comment)
by Granniemose
hilarious - The scary thing is that I almost understood it.
Virginia
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Feb 02 '04
6:07 am PST
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Re: !!!! (Reply to this comment)
by voxpoptart
Thanks! Glad you enjoyed.
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Jan 31 '04
1:40 am PST
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!!!! (Reply to this comment)
by macresarf1
Very amusing and entertaining, voxpoptart.
Regards.
[Macresarf1]
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Jan 29 '04
6:16 pm PST
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Re: Re: . (Reply to this comment)
by munkus
Rupert Murdoch isn't Australian though. We don't want him! He WAS Australian but he sold out and became an American citizen so he could own more than 49% of Fox etc...
HA! Problem is back in your court now!
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Jan 23 '04
6:30 am PST
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Re: Re: Re: Re: This sounds great! (Reply to this comment)
by oldcomixfan
I just luvs them anthologies! In grade school I toted around Asimov's {I think it was he who compiled it} rather hefty "Where Do We Go From Here?" anthology. And then there was that delightful "Sci-Fi and Rock 'n Roll" one.
"George" double are Martin is a SHE, btw. She wrote a neat little tale for some defunct magazine long ago about Morgana Le Fay being a stranded alien or maybe an exile or a seeker of asylum or whatever with advanced technology and a spaceship at her disposal. I think.
I reread Heinlein's "To Sail Beyond The Sunset" a few weeks ago while wondering if he had lost it in his old age or secretly endorsed incest. hhmmm. Could it be possible there is an actual "Howard Foundation" striving for bio-immortality through selective breeding?
OCF
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Jan 22 '04
2:52 pm PST
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Re: Re: Re: This sounds great! (Reply to this comment)
by voxpoptart
Was "Combat Football" the story in which the teams represented stereotypical sub-cultures {the hippies, the blue collar Archie Bunkers,etc} who enthusiastically whomped on each other up in the stands?
Yep!
I do remember one story which I believe was a part of a "Sci-Fi and Sports" anthology about these bulletheaded aliens with stumpy bodies and dense muscles...
Same anthology i encountered it in! Man, i didn't know anyone else had heard of it. My favorite story from it was "the Last Superbowl", in which real-time professional sports were at the edge of death because broadcast simulations of past great teams got too good and too convincing. I just looked it up, and it's by George R.R. Martin, one of whose novels just got added to my list yesterday without me knowing i'd read anything of his.
best,
- Brian
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Jan 22 '04
6:49 am PST
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Re: . (Reply to this comment)
by voxpoptart
Ugh, how did AFL get to your side of the world? Obviously I'll need to have a stricter word with Border Control.
ESPN. Just have Rupert Murdoch buy it out, and it immediately becomes as Australian as you need.
hi, hello, and welcome back to another edition of
- Brian
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Jan 22 '04
6:46 am PST
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Re: Holy Oddball, Batman. (Reply to this comment)
by voxpoptart
this is nearly the exact outcome of a group of slightly intoxicated adults playing soccer with a bunch of children, don't you? The one difference being that only the adults can see that third goal.
I believe you, Sue! As someone forced to teach 3rd-grade twice a week, i can assure you that i don't even need intoxication - merely lesson plans - to see things apparently invisible to my charges.
On the plus side, the children sling haggis like nobody's business.
Always. Cheers,
- Brian
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Jan 22 '04
6:44 am PST
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Re: Sounds like Quidditch on acid. (Reply to this comment)
by voxpoptart
you may need to switch to decaf, dude.
Oh, thanks, but i don't drink coffee. Coffee would make me hyper, and you'd rather not imagine that.
Personally, though, I'm not much into sports, but prefer quieter games with simpler rules -- like Fizzbin.
I would think that the Fizzbin gambling debts would allow Simon's requisite "savage beatings" to come into play, though.
plans to be safe at a Star Trek convention when the Oddball playoffs are held.
Really? Part of my cross-marketing plan was to have a Holodeck adventure flash back in time to the legendary Stardate 2112 Oddball championships, during the height of the controversy over whether becoming a member of a different intelligent species ("gene replacement therapy") was an unfair advantage that ought to be banned.
cheers,
- Brian
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Jan 22 '04
6:42 am PST
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Re: The Oddness continues... (Reply to this comment)
by voxpoptart
it seems as though Eps is going to the... well... it's going somewhere strange, that's all.
I hope so! Be a shame to have munkus and kris-kochanski back, and me just generally hanging around, without that.
Are there any savage beatings involved in Oddball?
Honestly, you'd want to be careful about those. There's supposed to be four people per team _not_ in wheelchairs. Remember, for your worst impulses, there's always boxing and Jerry Springer.
best,
- Brian
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Jan 22 '04
6:38 am PST
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Re: Re: This sounds great! (Reply to this comment)
by oldcomixfan
Was "Combat Football" the story in which the teams represented stereotypical sub-cultures {the hippies, the blue collar Archie Bunkers,etc} who enthusiastically whomped on each other up in the stands?
I do remember one story which I believe was a part of a "Sci-Fi and Sports" anthology about these bulletheaded aliens with stumpy bodies and dense muscles in all the wrong places who agreed to a game of football as part of diplomatic relations after a truce was signed. Of course, evolving on a heavy planet and being able to leap 30 feet into the air didn't bode well for our wimpy 400 pound linebackers and wussy quarterbacks....
OCF
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Jan 21 '04
6:32 pm PST
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. (Reply to this comment)
by munkus
Ugh, how did AFL get to your side of the world? Obviously I'll need to have a stricter word with Border Control.
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Jan 21 '04
4:42 am PST
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Holy Oddball, Batman. (Reply to this comment)
by millinocket
Brian,
This is hilarious. But you do realize, don't you, that this is nearly the exact outcome of a group of slightly intoxicated adults playing soccer with a bunch of children, don't you? The one difference being that only the adults can see that third goal. And their singing is terrible. On the plus side, the children sling haggis like nobody's business. It's a beautiful, yet disturbing, sight. Not that I've ever played anything like that.
Sue
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Jan 20 '04
9:33 pm PST
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Sounds like Quidditch on acid. (Reply to this comment)
by owlfan
Uh ... Brian? I think you may need to switch to decaf, dude. Either that, or it's time (possibly well past time) for your regular medication.
By the way, I was immediately reminded of (the late, lamented) Calvinball, too. A weirder sport would be hard to imagine; this one, shockingly, is at least right up there with it! Kudos for your creativity (and I do so just love your hilariously witty writing style!).
Personally, though, I'm not much into sports, but prefer quieter games with simpler rules -- like Fizzbin.
~Owlfan,
who plans to be safe at a Star Trek convention when the Oddball playoffs are held.
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Jan 20 '04
9:50 am PST
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The Oddness continues... (Reply to this comment)
by slarter
... and seemingly without end! The Anti-Moi W/O having spawned so much wierdness, it seems as though Eps is going to the... well... it's going somewhere strange, that's all.
Are there any savage beatings involved in Oddball? It's just no fun without the savage beatings.
Cheers!
Simon
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Jan 20 '04
6:16 am PST
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Re: Reminds me of Calvinball for some reason... (Reply to this comment)
by voxpoptart
A future Olympic sport perhaps??
Definitely! Although i'm not sure that silly banning of professionals will fly. I'd love to see Olympic Calvinball, mind you: all of the judges would be making up their own scoring systems as they went along.
cheers,
- Brian
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Jan 20 '04
3:57 am PST
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Re: you blimey fool... (Reply to this comment)
by voxpoptart
I laughed mostly, but am left sad that you don't think you'll do anything great. :-(
Shhh! Thank you, darling Jan, but i am left having failed to explain the subtle distinction between the great ("did you see that great essay Brian wrote on How to Lose a Dead Poet in Dresden?") and the Great ("did you see those $18/hr paychecks being used to solve unemployment by building those massive shrines to Overlord Brian?"). This is the era of the Anti-Moi Writeoff, and hardly a time to imply that Oddball is just the first stage of some sinister scheme to ensure my place in History, or History's place under me. What nonsense. Hadn't even crossed my mind.
This comment reply shall self-destruct in ten seconds,
- Brian
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Jan 20 '04
3:55 am PST
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Re: ... (Reply to this comment)
by voxpoptart
Ever try the game innebandy? It's a disastrously stupid breed of hockey, originating in Sweden, and I shame myself to admit that I've played it for years. We use very short sticks and it gets very violent
I haven't played it... the hockey aspect alone sounds quite challenging. I suppose you've just solved the drumstick issue for pickup games of Oddball, btw: use very short sticks. Which will only endanger people with very long dangly eyes. Thanks!
- Brian
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Jan 20 '04
3:49 am PST
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Re: This sounds great! (Reply to this comment)
by voxpoptart
Maybe this could also be played in forests, marshlands, or Wal-Mart parking lots while the refs bounce around on pogo sticks?
Wal-Mart! Wal-Mart! The pogo sticks would get the best bounce, and customers would be afraid to drive in to the store, thus diverting wealth to locally owned businesses as an emergency backup plan.
Maybe spectators could toss haggis {the "food", not the epinionator, although that could be an option} at the team that's currently in the lead?
Ohhh. Yes. Haggis-tossing by players is a little silly. Haggis-tossing by fans, on the other hand, would be a LOT silly, and much more active.
Norman Spinrad once wrote a great short story about the sport "Combat Football", where casalties inflicted on each other by the fans were half the point of the game. I don't endorse the bloodiness, but some harmless sheep-based ganging up on the winning team? Inspired.
bounce! pogo, pogo, pogo,
- Brian
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Jan 20 '04
3:47 am PST
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Re: I Can See It Now.... (Reply to this comment)
by voxpoptart
I'd play just for the opportunity to see kristinafh rock out a drum solo on a goalpost. And wouldn't Nirav as ref be fun?
So you're saying the NYC area would be a good one again? Works for me: baseball had three New York squads practically before it had teams anywhere else. Anything to see Kristina finally give in to her inner Neal Peart.
nonconform or be cast out,
- Brian
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Jan 20 '04
3:41 am PST
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Re: Monday Night Oddball (Reply to this comment)
by voxpoptart
You are wise to target the game at the very few communities wacky enough to actually play it, were we all able to get together formally.
Thanks! Once our Scotland brigades road-test a few of these rule changes, perhaps, we can organize our first American Epinions league. But you should tell me more about your backyard head-injury game sometime.
btw - Do you know you owe me a couple of e-mails from last week? It's fine, but i'm asking just in case you do _not_ know.
KONK!,
- Brian
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Jan 20 '04
3:39 am PST
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Re: Oddball (Reply to this comment)
by voxpoptart
Do you think that you might be willing to add a haggis hurl as part of the event? Maybe you could replace the beanbags with haggi. Oh. Oh. And make the referees wear kilts.
Haggis vs. beanbags would probably work as a local-option thing, or perhaps like the coin-flip in football: instead of a toss to see who has the ball first, a toss to see what substance will be tossed. The kilt suggestion is excellent. I got married wearing a kilt, ye know, and here in frozen Boston it's not like i've had many chances to break one out since.
tails!,
- Brian
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Jan 20 '04
3:36 am PST
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Re: an oddball idea (Reply to this comment)
by voxpoptart
i'm gonna print off a copy of these rules and bring "oddball" to scotland!!
Hooray!
1) what happens if all three refs are bribed at once?
I don't know! But i bet it'd be pretty entertaining.
2) drumsticks are a dangerous thing to carry in one's pocket during a sporting activity, you could really poke an eye out or something
*frowns* A fair caution. Obviously, at the school or professional level, the Oddball jerseys will be designed with nice horizontal pockets where the drumsticks fit. But for the pick-up level, yeah.
What we did in actual play was leave the drumsticks lying around near the goalposts: the point-scorer would simply pick up a common pair of sticks. But that leaves incentive to cheat. Any ideas, anyone?
3) i would suggest using soccer balls as opposed to footballs.
Sure, if you prefer. The terms of the debate seem easy to imagine:
Andy: "Soccer balls would be easier to control while dribbling and kicking".
Brian: "No, but you're missing the fatal flaw in that reform! Soccer balls would be easier to control while dribbling and kicking!".
We'd both be right. The important thing, obviously, is to play.
4) "give quiche a chance" would be another excellent slogan for the defensive player's signs.
Indeed it would! So would "you can't make a Hamlet without breaking legs", which of course is where the theatrical good-luck wish comes from.
and we are merely players,
- Brian
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Jan 20 '04
3:31 am PST
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Re: Mornin' Brian!! (Reply to this comment)
by voxpoptart
I do believe I played this once....but it was in the basement of a church and there was a whole buncha ol ladies trying to scream "Bingo"
Mornin, Nedi! Sounds like fun. And really, the church basement would've had nice tight walls to keep the ball bouncing back into play, and excellent rain protection, as well as good acoustics for the yelling. I could see that working, girl.
cheers,
- Brian
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Jan 20 '04
3:22 am PST
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Reminds me of Calvinball for some reason... (Reply to this comment)
by pnutmom
but this sounds more interesting. A future Olympic sport perhaps??
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Jan 19 '04
1:12 pm PST
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you blimey fool... (Reply to this comment)
by jankp
Maybe that's not Aussie lingo, oh well. I laughed mostly, but am left sad that you don't think you'll do anything great. :-(
Jan
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Jan 19 '04
12:38 pm PST
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This sounds great! (Reply to this comment)
by oldcomixfan
Maybe this could also be played in forests, marshlands, or Wal-Mart parking lots while the refs bounce around on pogo sticks? Could the spectators participate in some way too? Maybe they could toss haggis {the "food", not the epinionator, although that could be an option} at the team that's currently in the lead?
Just some ideas,
OCF
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Jan 19 '04
11:03 am PST
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