Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the suckiest of them all? the Anti-Moi W/O
Jan 25 '04 (Updated Jan 28 '04)
The Bottom Line Actually, I really do suck. I am very good at sucking or so I have been told.
Mirror, Mirror on the wall...
Oh yeah...well, I doth sucketh more than you! So nah, nah, nah! OK, I am about to totally ruining my rep here, but that was the whole point of this write-off, wasn't it?
Well, if I ever run for office, ALL my dirty laundry has officially been aired. I have nothing more to hide after this.
So, why the Heck did I decide to do this W/O anyway?
I decided to enter the Anti-Moi W/O, after reading Munkus's entry and his plea for all of us to enter into this self-deprecating exercise! I agree that we all have been prostituting ourselves around here a bit lately with all the "Love Me" write-offs, but hey, we are writers, creative types that need an outlet for our chosen vocation.
And too, I thought that I would help Munkus out in his effort to reach his lofty goal of having the most entered write-off in Epinions history. Plus, if I am lucky, he'll add me to his WOT! And hopefully everyone else who reads this will too. If you read this and I am not on your WOT, for God sakes put me on...PLEASE!!! I mean if I can be this open and honest about my whole life, isn’t that enough to earn you trust?
Anyway, please enter in this write-off to help Munkus out! Details can be found here: the Anti-Moi W/O
OK Munkus, have I kissed your posterior enough for you to add me to you WOT?
All right enough groveling...even I have a little pride left...not much after writing this though.
OK, I can deny confirm nor deny if any of the following is true:
Everyone is prettier than you. Discuss.
HMMM...well, I won't argue the point, since I have always been very self-conscious. Other women can be the worse and are the most critical of another woman's appearance. Men on the other hand are pretty easy to please creatures...shot, just have a set of hooters (real or not) and a man will love you for life! Wait a minute...what was the question?...Sorry I am blonde, I get sidetracked very easily. Oh, yeah that's right...we were discussing whether other people are prettier...well, at least their feet are prettier than mine...see below.
(okay so that wasn't a question)
What is the worst, most unforgivable thing you have done to another human being?
Pleading the fifth on this one!
What kind of sexual inadequacies do you suffer? We're all friends here and promise not to tell.
None, sorry. However, the worst thing that I can think of about me sexually and it's not an inadequacy at all is: I can't get enough! I want it all the time! My poor boyfriend has to nap every day and drink Red Bull by the gallon just to stay awake at work since I keep him "UP" all night. He is also walking a bit more bowlegged these days! Poor Keith! They do say blondes have more fun!
How were you bullied at school? Why did you deserve it?
Yes, I was...but it was all a BIG misunderstanding! This one Amazon girl (hehe) thought that I said something about her, but I didn't. It was somebody else -- really, it was! She threatened me all year long and was always saying she was going to beat me up. Then, we finally decided to fight and agreed to a time and place. It was a really big event at school that year. The guys even had a pool going and were making wagers on who was going to beat the crap out of the other one.
Well, we fought and it was a good one...hair pulling, scratching, hard-hitting punches to the face, kicking...yep, it was an honest to goodness real live catfight...the only thing missing was the Jell-O®.
Of course, we got caught and it took three teachers to pull us apart. We both had to go down to the principal's office. The principal made us stay out in the waiting area together for four very long hours. He ended up having an emergency at home and had to leave before he could reprimand us. She (Amazon) and I ended up talking all those hours and becoming great friends! Plus, we didn't get into any trouble! We laughed about it for the next three years of school! Everybody couldn't believe the outcome and how close we came to be suspended. What luck!
Who did you bully at school? If you did not bully anyone was it because you were too much of a wimp yourself?
Yes, I am a wimp and a wussy. I never bullied...well, I take that back...when I was in first grade a sixth grade boy tried to beat me up at the bus stop. I ended up kicking his butt.
Well, when we got to school, he went straight to the principal's office and told on me. The principal called me down and sat us both down in front of him while he berated both of us. He had a hard time not laughing through the whole thing, because this little tiny girl(me)had beat up this big sixth grade boy and he was crying about it -- the big WIMP!
Anyway, to make a long story short (too late, I know), the sixth grader asked if I was going to get a paddling and the principal said, "No, I should whip you boy for lettin' a little girl beat you up!" Ah, the good old days in the South when they still paddled kids in school! Ha-ha! Well, I didn't get into any trouble once again that was the last time that brat bothered me.
FYI, I never got into any trouble at school, I always talked my way out of it. It's a blonde thing, I act stupid and cock my head and open my eyes really wide...gets me out of trouble all the time. Still use that technique to this day.
What is your most disgusting bodily feature? Be graphic and as lurid and perverse as you can without being physically ill. Though vomit may be a good sign that you're on the right track.
My toes...OMG, my toes are so yicky! They are long, bony, crooked and look deformed, like little knobby skinny fingers --Gross, gross, gross... Gag me with a Ginsu! I hate them! I can't help but laugh when I look at them.
Present three examples where your self esteem has hit an all time rock bottom and the alcoholic beverages you drank to cope.
1. When I fell into the lake with my cheerleading outfit on and lost my Pom-pom and everyone saw me being fished out of the water, soaking wet, having leaves and debris stuck all over me.
2. When I lost my bikini top and bottom in the ocean while wave surfing after getting caught under a serious undertow. When I came up... naked in all my glory, no one would give me a towel! I was so embarrassed and in shock that I couldn't remember where I had left my stuff and then I found it when I looked up to see the horrified looks on my both grandparent’s faces.
3. When my second marriage broke up.
Give an example where your heart was so broken you did nothing but eat ice-cream, cuddle your old soft toys and watching Jerry Springer crying out at the trailer trash "They may have their problems but AT LEAST THEY'RE LOVED WWWWWAAAAAAAAAA".
This wasn't long ago. I remember crying and firing off a drunken email to the person in question. I sent a copy of it off to DavidMac and he wrote back to me and ask, "My God Karen, you didn't really send that to him did you?" I don't know if I did, I never heard back from the guy in question telling me that the email had actually came through to him. It was a pretty nasty email.
David helped me get through that time and he wrote me some comforting emails, which starting getting a little risqué towards the end. We went backed and forth with this all night and it took my mind of the other guy.
A few days later, David asked me to call him up and we talked for about 3 hours on the phone and I whined incessantly until about 2:00 A.M. David's time while I ate myself into oblivion... I think that I gained 10 pounds from consuming massive quantities of Chunky Monkey and Bon-Bons.
Thanks for being there for me David and also a special thanks to Ben and Jerry and Haagan Dazs!
How many times, on average, since were you born have your parents had wild, animalistic sex involving common kitchen utensils? Bonus Points awarded if you caught them in the act.
I caught them one time (don't know if there were any utensils, kitchen or otherwise) because I heard my mother screaming. I thought that my dad was killing her. I was only about 8 years old at the time and I went and listened at their bedroom door. I yelled through the door, "Mommy, Mommy, are you OK? Is Daddy hurting you?" They both started laughing. I didn't get it until years later after reflecting on my first orgasmic scream. I was like "Oh, that's what that was!" DUH! I said with my head cocked and eyes wide.
How many times have you been caught by a spouse/child/boss looking up internet porn?
Well once, but I wasn't REALLY surfing for porn. My sister and I were looking up models and their hairstyles and of course, we hit some bad sites...purely by accident (head cocked and eyes wide open).
It was during the holidays and I had a house full of people. My Mom just happened to walk in on us right when we hit the site. She asked, "Am I interrupting your porn surfing girls?" We were like, "No Mom, it was an accident..really... we didn't really mean to go here!" She started laughing. My equally blonde sister and I both cocked our heads and held our eyes wide open and she said, "OK I believe you two!" Works every time!
Give some examples of random malice you performed, preferably at strangers.
Not really into the whole malice thing but...
Examples of malice that I performed are as follows:
1. Toilet papering and egging a few houses
2. Oreo-ing a car
3. Playing an integral role in spreading 100's of rubber gloves and rubbers all over a certain ex-boyfriend’s front yard
4. Tying a blow up doll to the same ex-boyfriend’s Corvette so it was dangling off the back and flapping in the wind when he drove off
5. Hurling a few water balloons at people at the beach
6. Pouring ice water down my ex-husband's back while he was in the shower
Side note: I never got caught doing any of the random acts of malice...she says with her head cocked and eyes wide open.
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Epinions.com ID:
toospoiled
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Location: Tara
Reviews written: 19
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