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The Captain's Top Ten Films of 2003... (and a couple of turkeys, too)

Feb 09 '04 (Updated Oct 09 '07)

The Bottom Line Watch the Top Ten. Avoid the Turkeys. Annoy Shannon by including "League of Extraordinary Gentlemen" in your Top Ten. :-D

Top Ten Films of 2003

I should probably mention at the outset that I’m not what you’d call a film connoisseur (those who read my reviews fairly regularly will already know this!!) - I have neither the time, money, or inclination to search out every film that’s been released. So unlike many lists you’ll probably have seen or at least heard of all these films – there’s no obscure titles or unpronounceable foreign films here. Just to let you know…

Not in Top Ten but worth seeing...

How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days & Brother Bear

Neither Kate Hudson’s romantic comedy or Disney’s Native American Indian cartoon are particularly special, but they’re both watchable and very enjoyable in their own way. Try the first when you want something undemanding and the second to keep the kids quiet for an hour and a half.

At Number Ten…

Good Boy

Featuring the voice talents of, among others, Matthew Broderick and Britney Murphy, this tale of a dog from outer space is heart-warming and a lot more fun than I’d anticipated. (Only saw it because we got free tickets). One of those rare kids’ films that adults can enjoy too.

At Number Nine…

Return of the King

”Only number nine??!?!?” I hear you gasp. Well, some needless and ineffective changes from the book and over-long ending(s), coupled with a weak beginning sequence, prevented me from giving it a full 5 stars (though it still came close). Had some fantastic moments but they were too few and far between, with stilted dialogue also hindering some of the characters. Still a great film, but not as great as it could have been, or (to my mind) as good as most people seem to think.

(NB – I still think The Two Towers is the best of the trilogy, and is my Top Film of 2002 – though I doubt I’ll ever get round to writing a full top ten…)

If anyone’s too upset by this, perhaps you’ll be placated by the fact that the Trilogy as a whole is on my Top Ten Movies EVER list? No? Oh well, there really is no pleasing some people.

At Number Eight…

League of Extraordinary Gentlemen

This wasn’t exactly film history in the making, but was definitely a lot of fun! Sean Connery and Co foil the attempts of a character known as The Phantom in order to save the world etc… Hokum to be sure, but extremely enjoyable hokum. Shannon (Psychovant) will hate the fact that this film is in the Top Ten, but Doc (Drdevience) will back me up so I know I’m in the right…

At Number Seven…

Matrix Revolutions

After the huge disappointment that was Matrix: Reloaded, the Wachowski Brothers got it right here – though opinion on this was as variable as it was on the second film. Great action sequences and CGI met a plot full of twists and turns, and ended in a way which no-one expected. (Okay so you could pick holes in the plot quite easily but does anyone honestly think you couldn’t do that with the original Matrix film or, let’s face it, pretty much any film ever made?)

The Matrix series (I’m pretty sure it hasn’t ended here, there’s too much money to be made) is notable for having inspired a virtually religious following among people who believe they are more enlightened than the rest of us and see the true deeper meaning in these films, and attacked you like deranged, rabid baboons if you dared to suggest that any of the films are less than perfect. They are missing the point, I think, that the real deeper meaning is that these films have made lots of people rich (or richer), and that’s what Hollywood is all about. ‘Nuff said.

At Number Six…

Shanghai Knights

Jackie Chan and Owen Wilson team up again (having now finally seen shanghai Noon, I definitely think this is the better of the two – or if not better, certainly funnier – although judging by he reviews, many people who liked the first were disappointed by the second…) in this uproariously funny, completely over-the-top extravaganza as a priceless Chinese artefact is stolen, with Chan’s father being killed in the process. Great comedy, crazy choreographed fight scenes, and just general hysteria.

At Number Five…

Down with Love

Ewan McGreger and Renee Zellweger team up for a romantic comedy that’s even more OTT than Shanghai Knights! (You can tell that deliberately OTT movies don’t lose any points with me, can’t you?!?!) Very, very funny, with a great supporting cast and wonderful script. As if that wasn’t enough, it has Frasier’s brilliant David Hyde Pierce in a leading role too! Just fantastic!

At Number Four

Cold Mountain

Starring Nicole Kidman, Jude Law, and Renee Zellweger,(again! – well she is one of my favourite actresses) this film received extremely mixed reviews but I thought it was an extraordinary film. Much slower than your average Hollywood blockbuster, this is probably best viewed if you’ve already read Homer’s Odyssey, as the story is loosely based on that classic. (It also helps to remember that most of the characters in the film are personifications of a particular human trait – not a fully-developed character). Then again, the simple fact that Carl (Carl_Lazarevic) didn’t like it should be enough for most of you to want to see it.

At Number Three…

Pirates of the Caribbean

A tremendous piratey adventure of truly swashbuckling proportions! Orlando Bloom and Kierra Knightly do well in the “good guy” roles, Geoffrey Rush is a good baddie (if you see what I mean…), but it’s Johnny Depp who really steals the show with a truly eccentric performance as a “good / bad / er-just what is this guy on guy”. The script is witty and inventive – this film is a pleasure to watch from beginning to end.

At Number Two…

Finding Nemo

This fishy adventure has Marlin searching the ocean for his lost son Nemo, with hilarious results. This is Pixar’s finest hour, with superb animation, a great script, lots of laughs (for adults more than children), and some brilliant voice-acting – most notably by Ellen DeGeneres as Dory, Marlin’s memory-challenged companion. )

And At Number One…

X-Men 2: X-Men United

Well, I’m probably the only person who’s going to have this at number one, though I’d be surprised if it didn’t make a good few Top Tens. But for me this film has everything – an amazing cast (Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellan?!?), brilliant SFX, and most of all an intelligent script that has plenty of fast-paced action but much more besides. The existing characters are developed further from the original film (though there’s plenty of room for more development in future X-Men films - :-) ), and the new characters that are brought in are great.

The first film was excellent, but this one improves on it in every way possible.

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So there it is, my list. Agree or disagree, it’s up to you.


Thanks for reading,






Dave

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Oops, nearly forgot…

Turkey of the year:

Legally Blonde 2

The first film was funny, witty, inventive, and altogether a wonderful film.

This was dumb, dull, and basically a dud.

Oh, and at one point in the film it seemed like it was going to make a serious point about the American legal system. But then, in true Hollywood fashion… it didn’t.

Hmmm… actually, this has to be a tie - Peter Pan was also pretty awful – and Carl liked it, so my advice is to avoid it like the plague. You’ll actually be rooting for Captain Cook to kill Peter Pan – no really, you will!

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UPDATE

Since writing this I've seen a couple of otehr films from 2003 that deserve a place in my top ten - including a new no.1!

Revised list:

10 - League of Extraordinary Gentlemen / Uptown Girls [EDIT] and I Capture the Castle - a rather intriguing British film starring Romola Garei, Rose Byrne, Bill Nighy, and Tara Fitzgerald
9 - Matrix Revolutions
8 - Shanghai Knights
7 - Loony Tunes: Back in Action - Bugs and Daffy along with Brendan Fraser, Steve Martin, Timothy Dalton, and Jenna Elfman combine in one of the most enjoyable movies of the year, and the best live action / animated feature yet.
6 - Down With Love
5 - Cold Mountian
4 - Pirates of the Caribbean
3 - Finding Nemo
2 - X-Men 2

And the new number one is:

Master & Commander: The Far Side of the World - a stunning film with two of the best actors around - Russell Crowe and Paul Bettany - more of a character study than an action film, but tremendous stuff.


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I wasn't quite sure where Spirited Away should go - it would definitely be high on the list, but it was originally released in 2001 in Japan, then in 2003 for the UK... so which top ten list should it go in, 2001 or 2003? In the end I decided neither list, but to give it this special mention in both. It's a wonderful anime, very surreal and absolutely brilliant.

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CaptainD

http://www.darscom.net

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