Janet Jackson and her Breast
Feb 12 '04
The Bottom Line Janet Jackson and her Breast - This is a no Michael Zone - Do not mention him at any point while I am thinking about Janet.
NOTE: There was more to this review but it was erased by epinions.com after they did their daily adding of new products on 2/12, for some reason my draft from yesterday replaced my entry from today. I will be writing a second entry to make up for this "tragic" loss.
Janet Jackson and her Breast
By far the most important, crucial and urgent subject is Janet Jackson's big brown breast. After all, if you know anything about the very sexy Mr. Stockholder, you know how much I enjoy the brown Sugar.
There has been far too much talk over the Janet Jackson Super Bowl half time show performance. As you know the controversy started when she allowed Justin Timberland to rip off a piece of her leather strapped dress to allow her big brown beautiful breast to pop out. The only complaint that I had about this was the strange looking thing she had covering a portion of her nipple. Unlike some of the fragile minded Americans that were offended by too much skin, I was more offended and angry that she decided to cover what she did.
It was sort of like a miracle occurred at the perfect time. I was starring at the half time show attempting to forget about the last play of the half that cost me $190. Janet Jackson was jumping around singing her song while the young white guy repeatedly smacked Jackson’s buttocks and chased her around the stage. Getting past how horrible the music was, I was starting to enjoy the performance. Visualizing and fantasizing about what Janet could look like naked, my mind wandered, I began to rack my brain attempting to remember if she ever posed naked for Playboy, and if so, do I have a copy under my bed to help create my own half time performance. I was just getting to the peak of my fantasy when Janet decided to show the world her breast. I jumped out of my chair faster than any 72 year-old man could. But before I got close enough to the TV screen the whole spectacle was finished.
I don’t understand why this is a major controversy. After all Janet Jackson has been around for a long time and she is a credible performer. This was a part of her dance routine and she should have her freedom of expression to show her Fun Bags for a measly two seconds if she feels the visual enhances her performance.
I thought she looked lovely, I told everyone that was watching the game with me that a woman’s body is a very beautiful and natural thing. My idiot son-in-law, who insists on watching all major sporting events with me, began screaming that Janet Jackson is not natural at all, that her breasts are made out of silicone and her performance was disgusting.
I told the idiot that it wouldn’t matter if her breasts were filled with rice or oatmeal, she looks very attractive and sexy. We argued for a good portion of the night about surgically enhanced breasts, if they are considered “real” or not. The idiot is just out of control.
The argument about millions of children watching and being damaged by a glimpse of a woman’s breast is absurd beyond belief. My little grandson who is seven-years-young could not even tell the difference from Janet Jackson’s performance and what his mother allows him to watch on MTV. Not to mention the fact that a glimpse of a breast has never damaged a child once in the history of mankind. In fact, it did not take long after Jackson’s titillating performance before the majority of the children in the room had a sudden urge to drink a glass of milk. Not one child wanted to rape and pillage, they simply wanted a large glass of milk.
I think we should all just give in to the fact that boobs are fun to look at. In fact we should allow full frontal nudity on all network television channels. What could it possibly hurt to allow children to see topless women? If we did have nudity on TV, within weeks children would learn to appreciate and respect the beauty of a well-developed set of hooters.
I now consider Janet Jackson to be a powerful freedom fighter here in the United States. She will be forever known as one of the great pioneers of television. Her performance will be appreciated in years to come and one day a picture of her pierced breast will be on its very own coin.
photos on drudgereport.com .
http://www.drudgereportarchives.com/data/2004/02/03/20040203_003406_mattjj.htm
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Member: Chuck Broginger
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