Happy Anti-Valentine's Day (Break-up songs)
Feb 13 '04 (Updated Feb 16 '04)
The Bottom Line Music for those who have been recently dumped of both the sad and angry variety.
You know what sucks? Getting dumped. You know what sucks more? Getting dumped a week before Valentine’s Day.
Yeah, so I’ve been listening to quite a collection of break-up songs recently. And while my collection is about 30 songs, some of them are really just filler. These are the ones that really count and express the large variety of emotions that I have been feeling over the past week.
There are basically two types of break-up songs: the sad and wistful heartache type and the f- you/ I deserve better type. Each has its own merits but I think a nice mix is best. You don’t want to end up dehydrated from crying too much, nor do you want to wind up leaving threatening messages on your ex’s voicemail. I present a few of each kind with the final ultimate break-up song at the end.
Distraught, Depressed, and Discontent
”Without You” – Dixie Chicks
As far as I’m concerned, the Dixie Chicks pretty much can do this category better than anyone else. There are so many songs to choose from but I think this one expresses the pain of breaking up the best. The line from the bridge “Somebody tell my head to try to tell my heart/That I'm better off without you” is so true. Even though you know splitting up is probably the best for both of you, you just can’t let go. Runners-up for the slot of Dixie Chicks song on the list include “Cold Day in July” and “You Were Mine”.
”Don’t Speak”- No Doubt
While sort of obvious, it still rings true. While some of the lyrics seem very simple and kind of hackneyed (I really feel that I'm losing my best friend/I can't believe this could be the end), often that’s exactly what is going on. Heartbreak isn’t always deep and poetic.
”Ex-Factor” – Lauryn Hill
This song is a little less known but maybe even more powerful because of that. This is for the relationship that never seems to be working but you can’t pull yourself out of. It’s painful being with that person but being without them doesn’t seem to work either. There is one stanza that is so great because it makes sense sort of because it is illogical:
I keep letting you back in
How can I explain myself
As painful as this thing has been
I just can't be with no one else
See I know what we got to do
You let go and I'll let go too
'Cause no one's hurt me more than you
And no one ever will
It really sums up the insanity of loving and hating someone so much at the same time.
”The Love is Gone” from Muppets Christmas Carol
I know this seems like an odd choice but go with me on this one. People often overlook the Muppets tear jerking potential but it is there. And even though this is from a Christmas movie, it is not a Christmas song. Belle sings this to the younger Ebenezer about how their love has slipped away. It is a sad “let’s just face the facts” song. By the time at the end when she sings Yes some dreams come true/ Yes some dreams fall through/ And yes the time has come for us to say goodbye, Michael Caine is crying, Gonzo and Rizzo are crying, and I’ve teared up too.
"The Scientist" - Coldplay
I can't believe I forgot this one! It is such a sweet sad song and has a personal attachment to my last relationship (he liked it and had it as the ringer id when I called him, which I told him wasn't good because it's about a relationship ending, oh the irony!). The one line "Oh take me back to the start" is what I've been thinking for awhile now. This song fully embodies the torture of a relationship that used to be so good and somehow went sour.
Bitter, Betrayed, and Backing Away
”Song for the Dumped” – Ben Folds Five
This is the song for when the other person leaves you: it says so right in the title. The lyrics are amazingly simple (Well f*ck you too/Give me my money back/Give me my money back/you b1tch) and this song provides the ultimate angry rant.
”You Oughta Know” – Alanis Morrisette
Another obvious one, but one that cannot be forgotten. Everyone seemed sort of shocked by the anger and intense lyrics when this came out, but everyone seemed to relate. I relate to the song even though I wasn’t dumped for someone else. To me the line “And I'm here to remind you/ Of the mess you left when you went away” is especially poignant. Especially when the other person is being a coward and trying to avoid facing you (sorry, there’s my issues slipping in).
”Through With You” – Maroon 5
This is a recent find and the tone of the song is a little more upbeat than the lyrics suggest. But there is one stanza that completely sold me on the song because it completely summed up my feelings the week before we officially broke up:
And I don't trust you
Cause every time you're here
Your intentions are unclear
I spend every hour waiting for a phone call
That I know will never come
I used to think you were the one
Now I'm sick of thinking anything at all
”King of Wishful Thinking” – Go West
This one hit wonder is a great upbeat song of denial (which sort of fits in this category). It’s been going through my head over and over again this week (I don’t own the song and can’t find it so that’s pretty much been my only choice). The lines And I deny the tears in my eyes/ I don't want to let you see/ That you have made a hole in my heart/ And now I've got to fool myself perfectly describe the process of trying to get over someone.
And finally the Ultimate Break-up Song that Defies Categorizing
“All Cried Out” – Lisa Lisa and Cult Jam with Full Force
This so is the best. Wonderfully cheesy and a bit melodramatic but is just what I need in a break-up song. It starts out with her describing how much he hurt her but finally acknowledging that she has to get over him in the Chorus:
I gave you my love in vain
My body never knew such pleasure
My heart never knew such pain
And you, you leave me so confused
Now I'm all cried out
Over you
Then he comes back admitting he was wrong but she says she can’t take it anymore and he’s going to have to accept that. It’s such a beautiful mix of being hurt to trying to move on and then making him feel regret at the end. The melody, like the lyrics and the singing, is over the top and makes the song absolutely wonderful.
So there’s my list. To all of those who have recently been left heartbroken, here’s hoping this will help you get through the pain. And to all of you who love Valentine’s Day and are in a happy relationship, bite me. :-P
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