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Åh min Gud... ! The Great Open Ended Write Off.Feb 20 '04 Write an essay on this topic.The Bottom Line Oh come on Penfold, look lively, get with it, GET WITH IT! Yet another contribution to yet another write-off, this time it's the turn of AdaDavis's Great Unannounced Open Ended W/O THE QUESTIONS: 1. If you had to choose, which would you rather have: herpes, a root canal, a computer virus, a colonoscopy, or a polygraph? Oh, frill! Not any of the first 3. So it's a toss up between a colonoscopy and a polygraph, for the sake of my dignity, I'll opt for the latter, it wouldn't worry me. Ha! I had this whole rant prepared about the concept of having a colonoscopy, but it just feels wrong. 2. If you could go back in time and do one thing over, what would it be? I once got the opportunity to meet the British film Director, Derek Jarman, about 14 years ago. At the time I was preoccupied with other, looking back, rather trivial matters, and passed it up.. He died soon afterwards. 3. If you could only have one food item and one drink for every meal for the next month, what would they be? No contest. Gü and coffee. And probably die of caffienated sugar overload. 4. What do you usually leave in - a Huff? a Tizzy? the bed of a beat-up pickup? a High Dudgeon or a stretch limo? What? Now then. If I'm leaving a situation where i've been embarrassed beyond belief (which is usually the case) I'll either make an off the cuff, quippy remark and saunter off, or scamper away like a frightened puppy. If I'm having a "Diva" moment (which are few and far between), I'll make a remark that starts with the words "Listen, Darling....", toss my head and strut away. More often than not, I leave in a strop. 5. You open up a bottle and instead of beer, you get a jjin. Standard three wish deal. What do you wish for? (And the first person who says "World peace" will be tracked down like a dog, eviscerated, and strangled with his/her own intestines. You have been warned.) jjin? LOL 1. My own Gü factory 2. To be haunted by the spirit of Hamlet. 3. A night of unbridled passion with David Boreanaz. 6. You just inherited/won $1 Billion. What do you do for the next 24 hours? Stare blankly into oblivion, and wonder how much David Boreanaz would charge for a night of unbridled passion. 7. Of all of the voices in your head, which is your favorite? It's the low, raspy voice of a Siberian monk that keeps calling me "Batooshka" 8. If you could attend your own funeral and give the eulogy, what would you say? "Herr Johansen, he was a self loathing, Gü loving, ambi-dextrous freak. Skål!" 9. Name an actor, performer, talking head, or public figure that you just can't stand. Simon Cowell. and yet in some twisted way, I wish he was my Dad. Am I weird? 10. You are leaving tomorrow for a 6-week stay in the 12th century. What do you pack? Cigarettes, 6 weeks supply of Gü, a copy of Hamlet, some necessary toiletries, my mp3 player, clothes snaffled from the local Historical Society, my copy of the Law of Jante in case I bump into any Scandinavians. 11.Name something small that really annoys you. Belly button fluff, it's always blue. 12. What's the bravest thing you have ever done? Dissed Abba at a Swedish disco. 13. What is the dumbest thing you have ever done? Ummm, attempted to do a cartwheel whilst wearing skis, I gashed my leg open and it bled like a dam bust for 2 hours. It wasn't big, and it wasn't clever. 14. What assumptions do people make about you that are wrong? People think I'm standoffish, when really I'm just shy. People think I'm sarcastic, when really I'm just nervous. People often automatically assume I'm married with a couple of kids. When I'm actually gay. People think I'm odd and foreign. They'd be right there. 15. If you had a building named after you, what would be in it? Books, which sounds incredibly boring. But 1,000,000 copies of the same book, which would be, "The Book of Bizarre Books". 16. It is the year 2024. What kind of computer are you using? A chip in my head accessible by concentration, random taps on the back of the hand, and a funny face tic. 17. When your pet looks at you, what is it thinking? If i'm paying attention to her, "I love you Daddy, tickle my belly Daddy, purrrr Aren't I cute, Daddy?" If I'm not paying her any attention, "Listen, bítch. If you don't get off your ärse and dish me out some nibbles, I'll jump on your knee and fart in your face." 18. If you were forced to move to another country, where would you go? Denmark 19. Okay, 'fess up. What did you do that made it necessary to move to another country? Dissed Abba at a Swedish disco. 20. Zen space. Make up a question and provide your own answer. What do you think when you look at your pet? If she's paying attention to me; "awww, me little fluffykins cutiepie, she's a pretty girl" tickle belly If she's not paying attention to me; "Oy!!! Ignorant wench, what did you fart in my face for??" Many thanks to AdaDavis. Ok, I apologise for inflicting so many of these things on the community of late. I'm new, I'm playing catch-up. If I smile sweetly and promise to do some good reviews, I hope I'm forgiven.  |
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