Smoke Free Me
Mar 15 '04
The Bottom Line Nicotine replacement helps. Groups can help. There are websites that can help. But what is important is that you want to quit
“I don’t WANT to quit smoking. I LIKE smoking.” How many times have you heard that litany? If you are a smoker, how many times have you said it yourself? But think…is it true?
I’ve been smoking since I was 20 (how stupid was I – I started when I was old enough to know better). In the past year, I’ve been smoking around 40 a day. I can smoke in the office. I smoked in the pub. I smoked at home. I smoked in the car. I smoked anywhere I could.
I smoked my last cigarette at 8.30pm GMT on 30 January 2004. I am now into day 45 of my first (and hopefully last) attempt at quitting smoking. I DO get disheartened – it does seem that practically no-one succeeds in their first attempt at quitting.
But I plan to succeed. My father died of lung cancer; my mother is suffering from emphysema. Yet…that isn’t why I quit. And here’s the crux of the advice – you are likely to succeed only if you are quitting for the right reasons. The right reason being BECAUSE YOU WANT TO. Yes, the groups help. There are websites that help, too. There are various nicotine replacement products, and even drugs to help manage cravings. However, whichever aid you use, you have to want to stop. This I truly believe.
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My Quit – pre-quitting
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Everyone has different reasons and motivations for wanting to quit – and everyone has different triggers that make them want to quit in the first place.
I’d been thinking about quitting for ages. My breathing was laboured, and I’d started to experience chest pains. I’m 36 years old, for crying out loud. Also, I use the contraceptive pill, which is contraindicated for smokers over 35. Something had to be done…but I didn’t want to quit smoking; I liked smoking. Or so I believed.
On Thursday 29 January, I had a lecture from the practice nurse about the pill and smoking. That concerned me – especially as I had an ultimatum. But still…that wasn’t enough. Then she took my blood pressure. THAT scared me. But still…on that Thursday, not enough.
I got increasingly worried. On the Friday, I didn’t have a cigarette in the car on the way home from work (this is unusual). I decided I was going to quit. By 7.30pm, I was climbing the walls – I did have a cigarette. And then another an hour later. That one was the last. I decided – then and there.
The following morning, I didn’t have a cigarette. By 10.30 I was going MAD – I couldn’t sit still, I couldn’t concentrate. Knowing that a full pack of Marlboro was calling to me from the kitchen certainly didn’t help. So clearly, a trip to the chemist was in order.
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Quit Day
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A lot of advice you read will tell you to set a date. To prepare – to throw out your ashtrays and smoking paraphernalia. I did none of this – partly because my husband still smokes, but mostly because I DIDN’T plan the quit. I just decided, almost spur of the moment, to quit.
I ignored the plaintive cries of the ever so attractive pack of cigarettes on the kitchen counter, and went to my local chemist. As a heavy smoker, I chose the 24 hour 21mg patch. At first, the cost appalled me - £17.50 for one week’s supply. However, remember, I was smoking two packs a day. At £4.50 a patch, that’s £9.00 a day and £42 a week…no comparison.
That first day was hard. All I could think about was smoking. All I wanted was a cigarette. The patches take the edge off the craving…in the same way gas & air takes the edge off child-birth pains (you mothers amongst us know what I mean). Nicotine replacement is not a panacea. It will not make you forget about smoking.
My husband went to the pub that night – I did not. I didn’t think I could handle it. That was bad. My daughter (nearly 13 years old), however, was thrilled – see, she had spent the Friday night with a friend, so didn’t know I’d quit. That was nice.
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The First Week
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On the following Monday, I revisited the practice nurse. The look on her face when I told her I was trying to quit smoking was classic. After all, I hadn’t said (or even dreamed) that I would do this. She arranged a prescription for the patch; thus bringing the cost down from £17.50 for one week to £6.30 for two weeks.
There is a nifty website – www.quitnet.com (more on this later)- that calls the first week ‘Hell Week.’ It’s aptly named. I felt as if all the joy had been sucked from my life. I was avoiding the pub, and so felt a social pariah. My work colleagues still smoked in the office…around me. That hurt. No-one seemed to care about what I was going through (I wasn’t thinking straight at this point). I was lonely (as much of my social life is pub based), going through some withdrawal (remember, helped but not cured by the patches).
My husband smoked outside, but said ‘I like smoking. I don’t want to quit smoking.’ (Yes, he’s still smoking). Still, at least it was outside. My husband used my smoke free pub avoidance as an excuse to visit the pub on his own at any given opportunity so that he ‘could smoke indoors.’ I felt very, very alone.
I was sleeping poorly – most of us smokers don’t smoke all night. The 24 hour patch does exactly what it says on the box – it provides 24 hour nicotine. The dreams on the patch are…surreal. And VIVID. With plots. And a soundtrack. I kept dreaming I was having a cigarette, then waking up in a cold sweat.
Still…I also felt proud of myself. After all, I felt I had little enough control of my life – here was something I was taking control of. That was nice. Also, I was breathing easier, and nothing hurt. That was a real bonus.
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A Bit of an Aside
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By Tuesday, I’d found quitnet (www.quitnet.com, for those of you who weren’t paying attention). It’s a quit smoking website – American in origin, though with a thriving international community. It’s a support forum site and more. It’ll track how long you’ve been ‘quit’, how many cigarettes you haven’t smoked, how much money you’ve saved, and how much lifetime you’ve saved. There are various boards and clubs where you can post rants, moans, pleas for help, and congratulations to fellow members who have reached anniversaries. There is a private message facility too.
If you feel so inclined, you can pay money and subscribe – if you do that, apparently you get the Q-mail (what they call the private messaging) upgrade; you can get individual expert help, discounts on medications and NRT (Nicotine Replacement Therapy) – in the States. I’ve not upgraded.
The site can be twee in places (quotes from the site – “Keep the Quit”. “The Quit looks good on you!” “Hands across the Q” and so forth. There are lots of exclamation points), but it is nice to see how much you haven’t smoked, and how much you’ve saved. The people there seem nice (though the site is not free of politics and a bit of back-biting – but that should come as no surprise to Ciao regulars), and they do respond to posts of despair. I posted a despairing rant just the other day, and the folks there were very sweet, and even helpful.
Group support has been proven to massively increase your chance of quitting – if you can’t, or don’t want to go to a NHS or other stop-smoking group, you may find this a useful replacement. The first NHS group date I could get was a month after I’d stopped. I went once – it didn’t do it for me. So the web has been a real life saver. Double meaning intended.
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End of an Aside
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On the Thursday, I went to the pub. I was now six days into my ‘quit’. And you know what? It wasn’t that bad. People congratulated me on what I was doing. You’d think I was the first person in the Royal Oak to try to quit smoking. I got questions and plaudits. I got loads of attention. Actually it was kind of fun!
On Friday, I celebrated my ‘one week anniversary’, as it were. I had lots to drink (with a non-smoking friend – one of the few pub friends I have that fit that description), but not a single cigarette.
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Subsequent Weeks
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Quitnet calls the second week ‘Heck Week.’ Yeah…well. By the second week, you become a bit more used to not smoking. I was reaching for the pack of cigarettes that wasn’t in the passenger seat next to me of the car much less often. I stopped staring at (and coveting) my husband’s cigarettes in the pub…mostly.
Yet still, the craving doesn’t go away. And, to top it off, I was covered in adhesive marks all over my arms from the patches. The sticky stuff just wouldn’t come off – I’d tried nail polish remover, soap – even a nail brush. I looked like a patchwork quilt. White spirit took the adhesive off, but the warnings on the bottle about skin contact did worry me.
Finally, I’ve discovered that surgical spirit will remove the adhesive with a bit of scrubbing. So every so often I scrub my arms. Lucky me.
By weeks two and three, I did find that I was/am eating more – part of it is the hand to mouth thing, and part of it is that I’m hungrier – nicotine is an appetite suppressant. Yes, I am still getting nicotine, but much less nicotine than a cigarette – and it gets to the brain much more slowly. Nicotine from a cigarette takes around seven seconds to get to the brain – when you first put a patch on, it apparently takes around two hours.
Quitnet calls the third week ‘Weak Week’ – when you think you’re ok, and you weaken. Well…I didn’t. Oh yes, there are times when I was tempted (and there still are – I’m sucking on my sweater even as we ‘speak’), but so far…
By week four, people are beginning to tire of hearing about the quit – so it’s now time to leave off on the sanctimonious (or otherwise – I’ve tried to avoid being smug) chit chat. Just around week four…I’ve started thinking of myself as a non-smoker, rather than just someone who is ‘trying’ to quit smoking.
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The Mechanics of Patches, and a bit about other treatments
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Well…here’s how the patch works. If you follow the instructions, you spend six weeks on the strongest patch (if you’re using the 24 hour patch, that’s 21mg), two weeks on the next lower dosage (14mg) and then another two weeks on the lowest (7mg). In theory, you then come off nicotine replacement. You’ll still, I assume, go through some withdrawal at this point, but not as bad as coming off 40 cigarettes a day cold turkey. Or at least that’s what I tell myself – I’m on my last week at the full strength patch. Watch this space.
Regarding the nightmares: I finally stopped wearing the patch at night. I was concerned that I’d crave in the morning, but oddly, I haven’t. They say that if you smoke heavily and have your first cigarette within half an hour of waking, you should use the 24 hour patch. Despite the fact that I was smoking a lot, I have been fine wearing the patch just during the day. Having said that, I wasn’t one of those people who lit up her first cigarette from the bed in the morning.
I can’t speak from personal experience about the gum, lozenge, inhaler and nasal spray. From what I understand, the gum and lozenge have the advantage of being self-administered – that is, you decide how much you need. However, I’m told they taste awful, and can irritate the mouth. The inhaler also tastes naff, apparently, and again, irritates the mouth and throat. However, the inhaler gives you that hand to mouth stimulation (I use pens for that – my pens have taken one hell of a beating), and gives you a quicker hit of nicotine. The nasal spray gives you the quickest and strongest hit, but again, can irritate the mucus membranes.
Zyban (known as Wellbutrin in the States) is a drug (originally an antidepressant) that apparently somehow reduces the desire to smoke. You start taking it a few days before you plan to quit, and a course apparently lasts two months. You can only get this on prescription, and like any other drug, can cause side effects, and is not suitable for pregnant or nursing women. You also have to talk to your doctor about various contraindications (i.e. if you have a history of fits or blackouts) and if you are on other medications. Zyban didn’t interest me.
Some people have found hypnotherapy and/or acupuncture useful. I have no experience with either, though neither has passed the gold standard of treatment testing – the double blind trial. Still, there is anecdotal evidence that for some people this works. In my opinion, for what it’s worth, it works for those who really WANT to quit. And that is true for ANY treatment option.
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And Now? Current Status and Advice
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It’s day 45. I still sometimes want a cigarette. I still wish there were a completely safe cigarette out there that gave the same hit as the old red packet did (or rather the content of the red packet, for those pedants out there). What I REALLY wish is that I’d never started smoking.
I’m still smoke free. Despite stresses in my life, despite getting drunk, despite being with friends, I’m still smoke free. But I’m not going to tell you to quit. You’ll quit when you’re ready. Come back to this essay, and others in this section when you’re ready. Because the bottom line is simple. If you’re ready; if you really, really want to quit – not because you have to, but because you want to, you’ll make it…at least to day 40.
I take things one day at a time. Each day, I don’t smoke. I think to myself (here’s another bit I picked up from Quitnet) NOPE – Not One Puff Ever. Because I’ve learnt from people around me who have relapsed. It’s generally because they’ve thought ‘I’ll reward myself with a puff from my spouse’s/friend’s/enemy’s/whatever’s cig. I’ll be OK.’ But I won’t be. I truly believe that if I have even a puff, I’ll be a smoker again.
I’m glad I have the patches – I couldn’t have done it without them. They seem to be working for me. But when they say ‘willpower required,’ they mean it. The support of people around me (and I’ve helped to ensure this by not becoming a ‘righteous reformed’) has helped. QuitNet has helped. I’m hoping this essay, and the reactions I get from it will help. Studies say that 3% of smokers succeed in quitting from willpower alone. Six percent succeed with nicotine replacement. With some kind of support, this rockets to (in some studies) over 30%. I hope to be one of them.
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And Finally
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If anyone is reading this who is planning on quitting, leave me a message. If this has helped or inspired anyone, leave me a message. If you think I’m a smug, self satisfied git, you can leave me a message. I hope this helps.
Cheers,
Kate
According to Quitnet – as of 15 March 2004, I’ve been smoke free for 44 days, 20 hours, 29 minutes and 39 seconds. I have not smoked 1,570 cigarettes. I have saved 11 days and 23 hours of life, and £275.62. That’s got to be a good thing. I hope.
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mattygroves
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Location: London, England
Reviews written: 83
Trusted by: 61 members
About Me:
I refuse to engage in a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent
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