CaptainD's Guide to Writing A Really Bad Review
Apr 01 '04
The Bottom Line If you've ever wanted to know the secret of writing a really bad review, either read this or any of Carl's reviews... hehe... ;-D
Writing a really bad review is not as easy as you may think – it takes skill, effort, and (if you want to write a truly risible review) a complete disregard of the English language. Here are some suggestions (by means of realistic example – amazingly reviews as bad as those portrayed here appear on epinions every day - a scary thought…) of the sort of things you can do in order to write a truly awful review. (Oh okay, if you want to be picky I guess you could also use it as a guide of what sort if things to avoid, too…)
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DIS IS DA BEST FILM WOT I AV SEED EVER. ITS REELLY GUUD AND IS EVEN BETTA THAN THE OTHER FILM WAT I SAW LAST WEAK. I KNOW PEOPLE AV BEEN SAYING ITS RUBBISH BUTT U SHULDNT BLIEV LEM. THEY DONT NOW WOT THEY IS TALLING AB OUT, U FINK EVRYONE SHULD BYE LIS FILM COS IT IS FAB AND IT AS LOTS OF PEOPLE WOT GET KILLD AND THERES LOADS OF BLOOD AND LOTS OF NUDITY AND BAD LANGAGE ITS REALLY WICKED LIKE U NOW WOT I MEEN.
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The book I am reviewing is rubbish. I couldn’t even get beyond the second page. But I’m sure you’ll appreciate my opinion of a book 238 pages long when I’ve read less than 1% of it. I don’t know why I think this, I just do. I can’t understand why everyone has rated it “Not Helpful”.
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This store ripped me off so I am going to spend a while just ranting on and on about the fact that I had a bad experience with them and try to convince everyone not to buy from them without the slightest hint of any objectivity.
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i fought this book on corect gramar was reely helpfull. It has helped me too spell and not use words uncorrectly or misappropriately. i feel that my standard of english is now much more better than what it was, and I hope that this is deflected in my reviews.
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This game is rubbish cos I can’t play it.
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This review is not actually about the book ”Disestablishmentarianism – Is It For You?”, but about my feelings towards the philosophy and practicality of disestablishmentarianism. Hey, what are all these “Off Topic” ratings about?!?
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¡Le mejor problema con mi escribiando es que es en espanol! ¡No es un problema por mi, sino por aglunas otros!
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I shall now list the technical specs of the product (which I got from the “View Details” page on epinions) with no additional information and hope I get “Very Helpful” ratings.
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I am writing several paragraphs about this subject. For instance, it is very good and I thought that the thingamabob was okay. Also the whatjamacallit was excellent, as was the oojamabob.
There were several other things about the wassisname that were very good. Another thing I liked about it was the lack of line breaks between paragraphs.
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In what way has the zeitgeist of our generation been illuminated as merely an interpolation of the urban mythology that has grown out of fear and hatred, among those whose intellects have been challenged only by supposed inspiration? What zest for life drove these inconsequential hereditary perplexities into the very existence of hyperbolic reasoning? And what the hell am I talking about?
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I was going to comment on the above examples , but I think that they really speak for themselves.
If you’re new, more info on epinions and how to make a success of your stay here can be found in my Guide to Epinions for New Members
Thanks for reading / rating.
CaptainD
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