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I just came across this (Reply to this comment)
by bobbo428
I just came across this epinion right after I had rated your new one. I have an autism spectrum disorder, though I was never diagnosed until the mid-1990s.
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Jan 01 '08
7:24 pm PST
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MT, so beautifully said.... (Reply to this comment)
by diverpam
I can only imagine how difficult it was for you to write this amazing review. You are a woman of such great courage and conviction. Alex is so lucky to have you for a Mom!
Thank you for opening your heart in the hopes that it can help someone else.
Pam
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Jul 08 '07
4:31 am PDT
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Thanks . . . (Reply to this comment)
by modernmarvel
For writing this. My daughter, who is 8, is also on the autism spectrum. I could have written a lot of what you wrote. It is hard day to day and I too have lost friendships, although I try to view it more as finding higher quality people to share my life with. We have had the medical evaluations, some kind and some from hell, and we haven't received a consistent diagnosis. We know she is somewhere on the mild end of the spectrum but don't know if it is PDD-NOS, Asperger Syndrome or High Functioning Austim. In the end, you are right, the label doesn't matter as long as we have something on paper that gets her services and support at school.
One upside (among many) - kids on the autism spectrum can be great with younger siblings. My daughter is great with the new baby.
Good luck with everything!!
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Nov 22 '04
4:50 pm PST
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:) (Reply to this comment)
by sblaydes,  in Kids & Family
MT,
I could picture you sitting at your computer writing this editorial. As I sit here with tears in my eyes from just reading this, I want to say thank you for sharing. I am quite positive that by you sharing this with us you will help and comfort many.
Alex is one lucky boy to have you for a Mommy. He is truly blessed...
Suzanne
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Apr 16 '04
10:18 am PDT
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Mary Tara, this may (Reply to this comment)
by MumMumMum
sound strange, but when I started going through the funding process for Princess BabyGirl this year to try to get her a full-time IA when she starts Kindergarten in the fall, I started looking for labels. Its a terrible thing to have to do, but labels for my girl will help her get the help she needs in school. She's my baby, my sweet daughter, and hearing words like global developmental delay, sensory integration dysfunction, possible PDD, the possibility that she's a risk to herself because of these delays and disorders, and now epilepsy in relation to my princess, well, its been an exhausting, and overwhelming process that I am so glad I'm almost finished with....for this year anyway. The labels are for school.....to the rest of the world she's a beautiful little girl with windy yellow hair.
Bev
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Apr 13 '04
3:51 pm PDT
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MT.... (Reply to this comment)
by bops_mom
Thank you for sharing this. I do feel I know how difficult it was for you. I had a terrible time trying to write about Brandon's CP diagnosis. For me it was kind of the final step, putting it out there, that was it, my child has CP. It was kind of an ugly feeling, yet very freeing. No matter what I always had the comfort of knowing Brandon was Brandon. I knew him and no diagnosis would change what I knew.
((((hugs)))) for you and Alex. You are doing an amazing job as a Mom! Lots of love and prayers going out to you two!
Melissa
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Apr 11 '04
1:52 pm PDT
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What a great mom you are, Mary Tara (Reply to this comment)
by mariahan
Alex will do great with a mom like you nurturing and supporting him. The world needs more moms like you!
Best,
Maria
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Apr 09 '04
11:17 pm PDT
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Thanks for giving (Reply to this comment)
by KMINER,  in Kids & Family
a wide perspective on this - of the varying disabilities/labels PPD-NOS can be not only a mouthful but daunting to figure out ... in saying everything "it is not" I oftne wonder "just what is it" - and I do this for a living :)
Keep up the great work dear :) Kimm
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Apr 09 '04
8:49 pm PDT
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MT.... (Reply to this comment)
by jlhin
"My child is my life, and the rest is just the details".
If that isn't hitting the nail on the head...I don't know what is.
I can relate to the struggles you are having with family and friends. It took my mother a while to realize that Jillian's diagnosis was real and that it wasn't going anywhere. Today, she supports Jillian just as she supports me. That's all I have ever asked from family and friends...just support during the tough times and rocky roads.
Your editorial was beautifully written...and I couldn't have said it any better when you said "My Child First...A Label Second."
Jaime
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Apr 08 '04
11:46 pm PDT
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Thank you for sharing this... (Reply to this comment)
by mizgnomer
I have a hard time sharing personal information too, but I know this will help many other parents dealing with (or not dealing so well with) the same thing.
I applaud you and everything you are doing for Alex. I honestly do admire you and your strength.
MizGnomer
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Apr 08 '04
7:17 pm PDT
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And, here I sit, crying again... (Reply to this comment)
by bonzobean
OH MY GOODNESS, just like jlhin's (sp?) essay, I just feel like I could have written so much of what you've said. Just to write my own essay, I wrote several drafts before my final one and, by far, it was the toughest epinion I have ever written.
I lost friends over my son's autism as well. They just couldn't understand what we were going through and there are just so many platitudes a person can take before screaming in frustration. Thank goodness you have your mother. I cannot even bring up the word autism in front of my mother anymore, because she 'talked' to a friend who has had a child with autism in her daycare and my son is NOTHING like that child (okay, once again, I feel that scream bubbling up...)
Part of me is surprised that we have such a large community of moms here who have children somewhere on the spectrum but then again, perhaps, not as surprising since a higher percentage can be found in computer-loving families. I just have to say that some of these essays this month have been incredibly helpful for me. We have a number of women here who not only sympathize but empathize as well and understand the pain, sorrow and joy of having a child with autism.
Sniff...
Bonzo
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Apr 08 '04
2:52 pm PDT
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MT (Reply to this comment)
by Suzer
You are doing a fantastic job with Alex, and I really admire you.
Don't hesitate to reach out to friends/family.
Suzi
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Apr 08 '04
11:53 am PDT
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So glad (Reply to this comment)
by shantel575
you decided to share your story MT :) As I commented on another editorial the other day, I'm amazed at how many of us right here on Epinions are dealing with this with our children. The good news is, it looks like all of us were blessed enough to learn of it early and we were all able to start EARLY INTERVENTION which I'm convinced more than EVER is CRUCIAL for these kids... esp. now that my son is 5 and we've had his diagnosis for 3 years... he's come SO far and it gives me so much hope, for HIM AND for all of your children (the others here on Eps that have just started this journey also).
We as moms on this site are bringing alot of awareness just by sharing our stories!
Hugs,
Shantel
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Apr 08 '04
11:15 am PDT
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Great title for this personal essay (Reply to this comment)
by bonniesayers
Thanks for sharing your story in this journey surrounding the A word. I like the phrase from the pin you quoted. www.disabilityisnatural.com has great pins and shirts too.
Many parents will be able to relate to your words. Those Doctor visits from hell, the attitude from some professionals who really have no clue what our daily lives are like.
I agree about the revolving door of professionals entering the home. Many did home visits and when the child reaches elementary school age it slows down, thankfully.
I do not know how families can have ABA programs running for 40 plus hours a week with so many people in their house all the time and then videotaping sessions and meetings. Yet my younger son was in OT sessions off site with one boy for one year who had such a program and never sat still for one minute and he had OT twice a week. I never did see the benefit of their program, but they had an Advocate!
Your doing a great job on this path. Continued success for your family.
Bonnie
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Apr 08 '04
10:03 am PDT
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Beautiful (Reply to this comment)
by brendan2
I have an autistic cousin, and I know it can be difficult to care for an autistic child. I think the best thing you can do is love him or her. Thanks so much for your wonderful piece and for making people aware of autism.
~Liz
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Apr 08 '04
9:01 am PDT
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Hi There (Reply to this comment)
by iluvbirds
I enjoyed reading this and admire your strength.
I've placed a ribbon and a link on my profile page for National Autism Awareness Month in honor of your child and all the others that face this challenge in life.
All My Best To You And Yours.
Savanna Smiling:)
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Apr 08 '04
8:54 am PDT
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I think you (Reply to this comment)
by msmorvay
are handling this beautifully. Stay strong. I hope it helped you to write your story, and I know your story will help others. I send you my best blessing for you and your loving child.
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Apr 08 '04
8:33 am PDT
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