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Re: I'm Going to Argue With You... (Reply to this comment)
by mfunk75
Pippa-
I think that Val Kilmer's character in Real Genius should be much higher on that list,
Well then let me adjust the entire list to suit your whims. *adjust adjust*
Just the concept of someone shuffling around Cal Tech in bunny slippers, using liquid nitrogen in soda machines gave how many science geeks hope that they too, could be cool and end up being hot and oily and tanned on a beach playing volleyball with Tom Cruise.
Or Batman! Remember: science geeks love them some Batman.
-mike
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Sep 21 '04
7:56 am PDT
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I'm Going to Argue With You... (Reply to this comment)
by pippadaisy
I think that Val Kilmer's character in Real Genius should be much higher on that list, MikeMark. Just the concept of someone shuffling around Cal Tech in bunny slippers, using liquid nitrogen in soda machines gave how many science geeks hope that they too, could be cool and end up being hot and oily and tanned on a beach playing volleyball with Tom Cruise.
Ahem.
Where was I? Oh yes. Great character. One of the most memorable ever.
I guess you'll hammer later,
pippa
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Sep 20 '04
8:58 pm PDT
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Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Cream of the crap (Reply to this comment)
by mfunk75
Night of the Dissing Dead-
I think you're thinking about something different.
I know what I'm thinking about. What do you think I'm thinking about, with that naughty mind of yours that needs its mouth washed out with soap?
The bonus of zombie poop is that it immediately reanimates and shuffles off on its own volition, preventing the need for cleanup.
You use the word "bonus", as if there's something inherently positive about zombie poop to begin with, and this ability it has to magically clean itself up is merely the icing on the zombie cake. Weird.
this won't be the Stone household, will it?
Who's the man again? Oh, that's right: it's me! Stone household it is.
It'll be the Disinclined-Stone household
I am disinclined to accept this nomenclature.
the Disinclined-Stone-Zombienutter household
Well, at least I get billing ahead of the undead cat.
-mikically clean
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Sep 11 '04
7:04 am PDT
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Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Cream of the crap (Reply to this comment)
by disinclined
Meow Mikes,
You can put a tap in my leg, so long as you let me put a tap in you. Somewhere. ;)
I think you're thinking about something different.
I refuse to clean up after dead, or undead, kittens. If it goes outside the litter box, then it's your job to pick up the zombie poop. Deal?
Sure, no problem. The bonus of zombie poop is that it immediately reanimates and shuffles off on its own volition, preventing the need for cleanup. Of course, you never can tell where the little buggers will get to. *squish*
I do get to pet it and let it purr on my lap. These are the rules of the Stone household.
Maybe so, but this won't be the Stone household, will it? It'll be the Disinclined-Stone household, or maybe the Disinclined-Stone-Zombienutter household, depending on whether I decide to give my undead cat the vote.
accidentl dis
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Sep 10 '04
8:16 am PDT
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Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Cream of the crap (Reply to this comment)
by mfunk75
Disle Syrup-
So you're like a giant walking keg of Canada Dry? Can I put a tap in your leg somewhere and assure myself a constant supply of fresh-from-the-source ginger ale?
You can put a tap in my leg, so long as you let me put a tap in you. Somewhere. ;)
what if I get a living kitten and spray-paint it green, so it sort of looks dead? Then, by the time you get used to having it underfoot, it will have ingested enough of the paint when cleaning itself to die of poisoning, and we really will have an undead kitten! Or maybe just a plain old dead one.
All I'm saying is that I refuse to clean up after dead, or undead, kittens. If it goes outside the litter box, then it's your job to pick up the zombie poop. Deal?
Though I do get to pet it and let it purr on my lap. These are the rules of the Stone household.
-nine mikes
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Sep 10 '04
7:25 am PDT
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Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Cream of the crap (Reply to this comment)
by disinclined
Fluffermiker,
The Ginger Ale is about me, and all that that encompasses. It is the life juice that keeps my engine a-humming.
So you're like a giant walking keg of Canada Dry? Can I put a tap in your leg somewhere and assure myself a constant supply of fresh-from-the-source ginger ale?
If you want to get a zombie kitten -- and name it zombienutter -- then I'm cool with that. Just as long as it doesn't suck out my brain, or leave undead puddles on the kitchen floor.
Hmm... okay... what if I get a living kitten and spray-paint it green, so it sort of looks dead? Then, by the time you get used to having it underfoot, it will have ingested enough of the paint when cleaning itself to die of poisoning, and we really will have an undead kitten! Or maybe just a plain old dead one.
zombiedisser
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Sep 09 '04
8:18 am PDT
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Re: Re: Re: Re: Cream of the crap (Reply to this comment)
by mfunk75
Lime Dis-
Blah blah blah.
Yadda yadda yadda.
I thought the ginger ale was more about your Canadianness than your Jewiness.
The Ginger Ale is about me, and all that that encompasses. It is the life juice that keeps my engine a-humming.
And yet, all I ever hear is griping...
Well, I'm just trying to be consistent.
Oh, c'mon, if it was a little bag of lime chips trying desperately to suck out your brains, it would be cute. That would be like a zombie kitten - you just can't take it seriously.
If you want to get a zombie kitten -- and name it zombienutter -- then I'm cool with that. Just as long as it doesn't suck out my brain, or leave undead puddles on the kitchen floor.
-zombiemiker
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Sep 09 '04
7:38 am PDT
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Re: Re: Re: Cream of the crap (Reply to this comment)
by disinclined
Dr. Miker,
I can walk into any restaurant (or convenience store, or even dry cleaners fer crissakes!) in Toronto, and order up some ginger ale (dried Canadianly, no less) without getting the curious stares so common amongst Reno waiters.
Blah blah blah.
Again, it's the Asians and the Jews, living together in perfect harmony.
I thought the ginger ale was more about your Canadianness than your Jewiness. Is ginger ale the official drink of Jewry worldwide?
when I find it there, I certainly don't feel disappointed. Elated, usually.
And yet, all I ever hear is griping...
Even when they're trying to suck out your brain? There's nothing cute about brain-sucking.
Oh, c'mon, if it was a little bag of lime chips trying desperately to suck out your brains, it would be cute. That would be like a zombie kitten - you just can't take it seriously.
diset coke
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Sep 08 '04
9:30 am PDT
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Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Cream of the crap (Reply to this comment)
by mfunk75
Disger ale-
Oh, come on. You were of age, and we didn't meet in a bar. Wait, we did. Well, it was a bar inside an airport, and it wasn't like I was wearing a tight, revealing outfit. Oh, wait...
…and it's not like we spent that first night togeth… oh wait.
I saw ginger ale on the menu at another restaurant in Vegas yesterday…
Oh yeah? Well I can walk into any restaurant (or convenience store, or even dry cleaners fer crissakes!) in Toronto, and order up some ginger ale (dried Canadianly, no less) without getting the curious stares so common amongst Reno waiters.
It seems that the Asian restaurants are more receptive to ginger ale as a soda option.
Again, it's the Asians and the Jews, living together in perfect harmony.
Besides, you know you'd be disappointed if you ever did find somewhere in Reno that served the stuff.
The only place that I can count on is your refrigerator. And when I find it there, I certainly don't feel disappointed. Elated, usually.
I'll put it up over your tombstone, and watch as your family swoons in horror and flees.
Over my dead body, you will! Oh wait…
As for zombie lime chips, I do not fear them. They actually sound kind of cute.
Even when they're trying to suck out your brain? There's nothing cute about brain-sucking.
-28 mikes later
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Sep 08 '04
7:21 am PDT
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Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Cream of the crap (Reply to this comment)
by disinclined
Ginger Mikle,
Oh, I know that better than anyone. For you must remember, I've been the prey of that particular hunting trip.
Oh, come on. You were of age, and we didn't meet in a bar. Wait, we did. Well, it was a bar inside an airport, and it wasn't like I was wearing a tight, revealing outfit. Oh, wait...
In the U.S. a lifetime supply of ginger ale is no ginger ale at all, but a mixed-up a glass full of Sprite and Dr. Pepper, trying to disguise itself as ginger ale.
I saw ginger ale on the menu at another restaurant in Vegas yesterday. It seems that the Asian restaurants are more receptive to ginger ale as a soda option. Besides, you know you'd be disappointed if you ever did find somewhere in Reno that served the stuff.
Just don't you dare put said tombstone up in a Jewish cemetery. The clucks of "goy, goy, goy" will be so loud they'll wake the dead. The dead lime chips.
I'll put it up over your tombstone, and watch as your family swoons in horror and flees. As for zombie lime chips, I do not fear them. They actually sound kind of cute.
dawn of the dis
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Sep 07 '04
8:23 am PDT
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Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Cream of the crap (Reply to this comment)
by mfunk75
Dr. Disser-
I stalk the wilds for my prey, padding softly on legwarmered paws, like a cougar. A John Cougar Mellencamp, even.
Oh, I know that better than anyone. For you must remember, I've been the prey of that particular hunting trip.
in the U.S., a lifetime supply is half of a can.
Not even. In the U.S. a lifetime supply of ginger ale is no ginger ale at all, but a mixed-up a glass full of Sprite and Dr. Pepper, trying to disguise itself as ginger ale. I am not fooled.
Poor, poor lime chips. They were taken from us too soon. I should put up a tombstone, with a laser-etched photo of a bag of lime chips, as a memorial.
Just don't you dare put said tombstone up in a Jewish cemetery. The clucks of "goy, goy, goy" will be so loud they'll wake the dead. The dead lime chips.
my shopping devil. There's a difference, you know.
Partners in crime don't pay. Partners in shopping pay with plastic. Is that the difference?
-john cougar mikencamp
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Sep 07 '04
7:30 am PDT
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Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Cream of the crap (Reply to this comment)
by disinclined
Partner in Mike,
Don't you get a kick out of baiting your hook with cute mini-skirts and leg-warmers, filling up the boat with lime chips and peach sandwiches, and spending the better part of the day casting your line for warm verbal affection?
I think you misunderstand how my method works. I don't just passively sit in a boat and wait for something to take the bait - I stalk the wilds for my prey, padding softly on legwarmered paws, like a cougar. A John Cougar Mellencamp, even.
I'll do it for a lifetime's supply of ginger ale.
Done. Of course, in the U.S., a lifetime supply is half of a can. I should warn you that it's been open for a while, so it's probably flat.
Think of the lime chips enjoying their last precious moments on earth adrift in a hot-tub full of hotdog water and powdered flavouring.
Poor, poor lime chips. They were taken from us too soon. I should put up a tombstone, with a laser-etched photo of a bag of lime chips, as a memorial.
What, you mean your partner in crime?
Not my partner in crime, my shopping devil. There's a difference, you know.
jack and disane
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Sep 06 '04
10:51 am PDT
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Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Cream of the crap (Reply to this comment)
by mfunk75
Some American Dissettante-
Not if you make with the compliments, so I don't have to fish for them.
But I thought you liked fishing? Don't you get a kick out of baiting your hook with cute mini-skirts and leg-warmers, filling up the boat with lime chips and peach sandwiches, and spending the better part of the day casting your line for warm verbal affection?
Some Canadian dilettante should write a porn screenplay about that.
I suspect you have a candidate in mind. A candidate whose expertise in the sack -- and knowledge of over-sized Mexicuisine -- would make him perfect for the job. I'll do it for a lifetime's supply of ginger ale.
I think you demean them by sprinkling them atop a steaming bowl of Mike Surprise. Lime chips deserve better than a slow death by drowning, as their savory spices get leached out of them by a vile soup of Brussels sprouts water.
Don't think of it as death by drowning. Think of the lime chips enjoying their last precious moments on earth adrift in a hot-tub full of hotdog water and powdered flavouring. Mmmm….
I'm not I'm not I'm not! Just ask Sue.
What, you mean your partner in crime? I don't think so.
-mikeuisine
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Sep 04 '04
7:24 am PDT
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Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: What? (Reply to this comment)
by mfunk75
S-s-sue-
And I thought you meant "Checqkue".
Jerqkue.
Can we call it the "Sue May Like the Movie, But Val is a One Star Man!" W/O?
I can't wait until you actually see the movies. Then you'll be eating your words. Eating them with a knife and fork! Boo-ya!
The real question is whether I can combine the Val w/o with the drunken w/o and produce two, two, two write offs in one.
I have confidence in your multi-tasking abilities, while sober. But while drunk I fear for the safety of your keyboard. I don't know how many spilled glasses of Wisconsinwine it can take before shorting out.
I'll need you to remind me each day.
Remind remind. Remind.
Which I happen to have stowed away in my closet just for this type of moinkless emergency.
I imagine it looks an awful lot like the MaidBot from the Sims. Do you have the Sims? Or are you just mentally playing along with Dis, whose daily updates keep us all informed on the exploits of the Virtual Usses?
Interestingly enough, this is the first comment notification I've seen today, being as how I didn't get mine.
I didn't get mine today, either. The whole alert system has been hit-or-miss over the last week or so. I think someone down at Eps HQ spilled Wisconsinwine on their keyboard.
I think you're full of it and actually had your roommate write that comment so you could watch the last hour of Buffy.
Not true. I only watch Buffy when in the company of lesbian-assed terrorists, or cookbook-loving book reviewers. Any other time just seems pointless.
Just admit it, there is no trace of Moink in that comment and you know it.
I seem to remember poking fun at a certain powder-blue suit. Though I may just be editing that into my memory.
-mikebot
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Sep 04 '04
7:19 am PDT
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Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Cream of the crap (Reply to this comment)
by disinclined
Mother Mikeresa,
Do I have to explain every syllogism to you?
Not if you make with the compliments, so I don't have to fish for them. Save us all some time, why don't you?
The desire to be the biggest darn burrito, like the sin of hubris, will take down your better tragic heroes, not to mention your larger Mexican novelty foods.
Wow. Some Canadian dilettante should write a porn screenplay about that.
I sprinkle lime chips to give the Mike's Surprise an extra layer of zing? And since lime chips are nature's perfect food, they're bound to add to the nutritional quotient.
I don't disagree that lime chips are Nature's perfect food, but I think you demean them by sprinkling them atop a steaming bowl of Mike Surprise. Lime chips deserve better than a slow death by drowning, as their savory spices get leached out of them by a vile soup of Brussels sprouts water.
I'm never again going to just nod and go along when you try and convince me that you are not a voracious consumer. I know better than that.
I'm not I'm not I'm not! Just ask Sue.
voracious dissumer
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Sep 03 '04
1:46 pm PDT
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Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: What? (Reply to this comment)
by millinocket,  in Movies
Actually, I meant "whoule".
And I thought you meant "Checqkue". Silly me.
B-b-but that b-b-boy had su-u-ch a long l-l-life ahead of him. Damn you, St-t-t-tephen King!
Ah, yes. A Stephen King series would not be worth its Bloody Knife were not lives cut tragically short by evil clowns or their evil clown minions. You need to read more.
Oh goody, a mini-write/off! We shall call it the "Sue Is Born to Kilmer W/O" (or "Kilmering Me Sueftly With His Comedy W/O", whichever you prefer) and it will be the bestest write/off Epinions has ever seen!
Oh, yes it will! Can we call it the "Sue May Like the Movie, But Val is a One Star Man!" W/O?
Even bestester than anything Simply_Crispy has hosted!
The real question is whether I can combine the Val w/o with the drunken w/o and produce two, two, two write offs in one. Can I? Huh? Can I? Can I?
Remind remind remind.
I'll need you to remind me each day. Thank you.
Wow, it's like you don't need me at all.
I didn't say it........
You could have just replaced me with a Moink2000 Automated ForeignSnark-a-Tron
Which I happen to have stowed away in my closet just for this type of moinkless emergency. I had it fashioned when I realized that I couldn't go a single day without your snark.
Just slap some Cool Shades on that sucker and it's as good as the real thing.
I actually has cool shades. Not like yours at all.
I think you're asking me for a link to one of your own comment sections, which is just five kinds of weird.
You're such a funny monkey.
There is a new comment on:
"On Golden Pond - Hepburn and Fonda Are the Ultimate Golden
Oldies",
an opinion on On Golden Pond by millinocket.
All comments on this opinion can be viewed at:
http://www.epinions.com/content_132370501252/show_~allcom/s_~na
Interestingly enough, this is the first comment notification I've seen today, being as how I didn't get mine.
And I also think you're asking for more snarkasm. I was just following FDA guidelines, and limiting my snark output, the better to keep you Americans on your toes. Did it work?
No, it did not work. I think you're full of it and actually had your roommate write that comment so you could watch the last hour of Buffy. Just admit it, there is no trace of Moink in that comment and you know it.
Suephen King
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Sep 03 '04
6:54 am PDT
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Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: What? (Reply to this comment)
by mfunk75
The Ghost and the Disness-
Still, however unfunny and puffy-lipped he may be
Since you and Sue share such a wrongheaded epinion, why not join the mini-write/off that I'm forcing her to participate in? We could call it the "I Used to be Disinclined to Find Val Kilmer Funny W/O", and it will conquer the world.
he's not Ethan, and that's something.
Now Ethan has never been funny. That I can agree on.
-wondermike
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Sep 02 '04
5:43 pm PDT
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Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: What? (Reply to this comment)
by mfunk75
The Talisueman-
I believe you meant "whole"
Actually, I meant "whoule".
Minutes later, the clown unhinged his jaw, swallowed the little boy … and a brand new Stephen King series was born.
B-b-but that b-b-boy had su-u-ch a long l-l-life ahead of him. Damn you, St-t-t-tephen King!
I accept this challenge.
Oh goody, a mini-write/off! We shall call it the "Sue Is Born to Kilmer W/O" (or "Kilmering Me Sueftly With His Comedy W/O", whichever you prefer) and it will be the bestest write/off Epinions has ever seen! Even bestester than anything Simply_Crispy has hosted!
please remind me at your earliest convenience.
Remind remind remind.
Yes, there was a giant, moink shaped hole in my life, which I promptly filled with foreign movies and merciless mocking.
Wow, it's like you don't need me at all. You could have just replaced me with a Moink2000 Automated ForeignSnark-a-Tron, and nobody would have known the difference. Just slap some Cool Shades on that sucker and it's as good as the real thing.
Comment read and immediately forgotten about. And left unanswered. But that will change, I promise. And my reply will be filled to the brim with snarkasm. What's up with you, leaving a comment with no snark? Are you ill? Now make with the link, monkey boy.
I think you're asking me for a link to one of your own comment sections, which is just five kinds of weird. But whatever:
There is a new comment on:
"On Golden Pond - Hepburn and Fonda Are the Ultimate Golden
Oldies",
an opinion on On Golden Pond by millinocket.
All comments on this opinion can be viewed at:
http://www.epinions.com/content_132370501252/show_~allcom/s_~na
And I also think you're asking for more snarkasm. I was just following FDA guidelines, and limiting my snark output, the better to keep you Americans on your toes. Did it work?
-new commike notification
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Sep 02 '04
5:38 pm PDT
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Re: Re: Re: Does not compute (Reply to this comment)
by mfunk75
Chrisp-
Credibility isn't all it's cracked up to be.
Spoken like someone who knows.
if I was knew you had any credibility left to blow apart, I'd have taken much more joy in it. Talk about a missed opportunity.
By contrast, I have credibility to spare. Standing next to your inconsequentialness (A word? Perhaps…) I remind people what it was like to trust Walter Cronkite every night at 6:00pm.
And since I have no idea who that dude is…
Since you made a Bush reference recently, I thought you'd at least know the name of the Political Satan pulling his levers behind the curtain. If not, then here:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Karl_Rove
you sound like Yoda.
Sound drunk you do. In a ditch are you?
you have actually written your list already, and are having to go back and change it entirely just to prove me wrong.
Nope. It's written, and ready for publication whenever I feel ready to unleash it on the world. But if I did want to prove you wrong, I could find a million and one better ways than to publish a list of movie characters on a customer review website. I'm more credible than that!
-mike
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Sep 02 '04
5:27 pm PDT
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Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Cream of the crap (Reply to this comment)
by mfunk75
Sounds Like Uradis-
You mean, by contrast?
Oy. Do I have to explain every syllogism to you? One more couldn't hurt:
The trick works on all cute girls
You are a cute girl
Therefore, the trick will work on you
What did it do to deserve such a sorry, stinky fate? All it wanted was to be the biggest darn burrito ever made.
Asked and answered, methinks. The desire to be the biggest darn burrito, like the sin of hubris, will take down your better tragic heroes, not to mention your larger Mexican novelty foods.
Would that be the hot dog chunks, or the MSG-laced noodles?
Silly Dis. Didn't I tell you that I sprinkle lime chips to give the Mike's Surprise an extra layer of zing? And since lime chips are nature's perfect food, they're bound to add to the nutritional quotient.
Why, so you can go out and buy more at Target, of course.
Sigh. I'm never again going to just nod and go along when you try and convince me that you are not a voracious consumer. I know better than that.
-silly moink
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Sep 02 '04
5:20 pm PDT
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Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: What? (Reply to this comment)
by disinclined
Moink/Sue,
the better to fall under the spell of Val's comedic genius.
I have a coworker who falls under the spell of Val's puffy lips and shellacked hair. But I think that's a little different.
Still, however unfunny and puffy-lipped he may be, he's not Ethan, and that's something.
disland of dr. moreau
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Sep 02 '04
9:47 am PDT
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Re: Re: Re: Re: What? (Reply to this comment)
by millinocket, in Movies
Moinky the Clown,
Moments after this picture was taken, that clown unhinged his jaw and swallowed that little boy hole. And the carnival was ruined.
Or you can look at it another way. Minutes later, the clown unhinged his jaw, swallowed the little boy - I believe you meant "whole", if not you're scary - and a brand new Stephen King series was born.
In fact, I challenge you to watch, and review, both "Real Genius" and "Top Secret!" Be sure to watch them and review them with an open mind, the better to fall under the spell of Val's comedic genius.
I accept this challenge. But since I will surely forget that I accepted it, please remind me at your earliest convenience. Val's comedic genius? I scoff. *scoff* See?
It's called a dictionary. I'll get you one for Christmas.
Will you get me one of those old fashioned ones with pages in between covers? I like antiquity.
Didn't you notice? Sigh. It's good to see that my absence left no moink-shaped hole in your life. I wouldn't want to be, you know, missed.
Oh, poor moink. Yes, there was a giant, moink shaped hole in my life, which I promptly filled with foreign movies and merciless mocking. Somehow I got through it, but don't pull that kind of stunt again.
I was wondering why it suddenly got a bit nippy in here. Review: read. Comment: left. Snark: n/a.
Ooops! Comment read and immediately forgotten about. And left unanswered. But that will change, I promise. And my reply will be filled to the brim with snarkasm. What's up with you, leaving a comment with no snark? Are you ill? Now make with the link, monkey boy.
How about if I just call you "Ironsides"? Or "Dr. X"? Or "Larry Flynt"?
I'd prefer "Millinocket Flynt". Or "Fuzzy Britches Flynt". Since I love porn and all.
whoever heard of blaming your benevolent saviour?
I think I just threw up a little in my mouth.
FB
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Sep 02 '04
9:15 am PDT
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Re: Re: Does not compute (Reply to this comment)
by Simply_Crispy
And with that one word you blew apart my last remaining vestiges of credibility. Thanks.
You're welcome. Credibility isn't all it's cracked up to be. But I assure you, if I was knew you had any credibility left to blow apart, I'd have taken much more joy in it. Talk about a missed opportunity.
Since Karl Rove controls both entities, I guess it only makes sense.
And since I have no idea who that dude is, I'll just have to pretend to do some more of that 'agreeing' thing we've been talking about.
As usual, you're partially right but mostly wrong.
And as usual, you sound like Yoda.
Look, if you're going to ruin the surprise then you should at least not put up a fuss when I make ditch jokes, m'kay? It's only fair.
I put up a fuss only the other week. Right here in my living room. Goes well with the curtains, but it's a bugger to clean up after.
And boy would I love to prove you wrong, right now. Sadly, for reasons out of my control, I must wait.
What I assume this means, reading between the lines and stuff, that you have actually written your list already, and are having to go back and change it entirely just to prove me wrong. It's your thing isn't it?
Chris
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Sep 01 '04
1:59 pm PDT
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Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Cream of the crap (Reply to this comment)
by disinclined
Mike 777,
That same trick usually works on cute girls, so why wouldn't it work on you?
You mean, by contrast? Watch it, buster. Between veiled insults and eating my lime chips, your stock is not at an all-time high.
Pity the poor burrito: no one to defend it, no one to love it, and no one to eat it. It's probably still out there, sitting in the sun, turning more and more rancid every day.
Poor, poor burrito. What did it do to deserve such a sorry, stinky fate? All it wanted was to be the biggest darn burrito ever made.
If my real goal were a cozy layer of fatness, then Mike's Surprise would not be the way to go. It is full of nutrition, and balanced goodness.
Would that be the hot dog chunks, or the MSG-laced noodles? I'm just wondering here.
If I subsisted on a diet of only Mike's Surprise, you wouldn't be able to tell me apart from Arnold Schwarzenegger. Except for the excessive face-lifting part.
...and the kooky accent. I bet he says "zed."
what's the point of mangling silverware?
Why, so you can go out and buy more at Target, of course. Silly moink.
servdis for eight
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Sep 01 '04
10:44 am PDT
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Re: Does not compute (Reply to this comment)
by mfunk75
Chrisp-
There's a word I never thought I'd ever use in one of your comments section, and that word is 'agree'.
And with that one word you blew apart my last remaining vestiges of credibility. Thanks.
I guess that means Bush is gonna be in power for another four years, and that Hell has literally this second frozen over.
Since Karl Rove controls both entities, I guess it only makes sense.
Admit it, Mike, you'd love to cuddle up next to him at night wouldn't you? Mikey loves Tyler, Mikey loves Tyler.
I wouldn't mind going a couple of rounds with him, if that's what you mean.
The Bride, Gunnery Sgt. Hartman, Johnny 5 and The Dude.
As usual, you're partially right but mostly wrong.
we all know that your number one character is definitely, definitely, definitely going to be Max Fischer from Rushmore. Go on, prove me wrong.
Look, if you're going to ruin the surprise then you should at least not put up a fuss when I make ditch jokes, m'kay? It's only fair.
And boy would I love to prove you wrong, right now. Sadly, for reasons out of my control, I must wait.
-mike
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Sep 01 '04
8:52 am PDT
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Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Cream of the crap (Reply to this comment)
by mfunk75
Stubborn Redistance-
Are you hoping that I'll be so mesmerized by your wiggling eyebrows that I'll forget about you eviscerating my bag of lime chips?
That same trick usually works on cute girls, so why wouldn't it work on you? By the way: you're out of lime chips.
I'm not defending the burrito.
Pity the poor burrito: no one to defend it, no one to love it, and no one to eat it. It's probably still out there, sitting in the sun, turning more and more rancid every day. And you and I are laughing, while cleaning up at the roulette table. It's a sad comment on modern society.
Don't you know that the rule is to blame mfunk?
Yeah, I think I heard that one somewhere. Frankly, I don't buy it. I mean, whoever heard of blaming your benevolent saviour? It's counterproductive, is what it is.
I look forward to seeing your pale, doughy, grublike winter look in the coming months. Start shoveling down the Mike Surprise now to get a head start on that blubber-building.
If my real goal were a cozy layer of fatness, then Mike's Surprise would not be the way to go. It is full of nutrition, and balanced goodness. If I subsisted on a diet of only Mike's Surprise, you wouldn't be able to tell me apart from Arnold Schwarzenegger. Except for the excessive face-lifting part. That's all his.
What is it with you Canucks and your snobbish, stubborn resistance (and secret love) for all things American?
We are a complex, and cold, nation.
What's the point of being psychic if you can't mangle silverware?
Furthermore: what's the point of mangling silverware? If you want I can go into your kitchen and find out?
-blameful mike's surprise
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Sep 01 '04
8:46 am PDT
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Does not compute (Reply to this comment)
by Simply_Crispy
There's a word I never thought I'd ever use in one of your comments section, and that word is 'agree'. I guess that means Bush is gonna be in power for another four years, and that Hell has literally this second frozen over.
Your thoughts about Mr Durden say a lot about you. Admit it, Mike, you'd love to cuddle up next to him at night wouldn't you? Mikey loves Tyler, Mikey loves Tyler.
As for the rest of the list, well you can shampoo my ass if the following characters don't feature somewhere in your next instalment: The Bride, Gunnery Sgt. Hartman, Johnny 5 and The Dude. However, we all know that your number one character is definitely, definitely, definitely going to be Max Fischer from Rushmore. Go on, prove me wrong.
Chris
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Sep 01 '04
1:14 am PDT
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Re: Re: Re: Re: Cream of the crap (Reply to this comment)
by disinclined
Good Bye Mike!,
I prefer to stare at your mouth and wrinkle my eyebrows, and somehow I turn out to be a big sweetie.
How do you figure? Are you hoping that I'll be so mesmerized by your wiggling eyebrows that I'll forget about you eviscerating my bag of lime chips?
World's Lamest Burrito, more like it.
Hey, I'm not defending the burrito. I already expressed my disappointment with the whole thing.
the dry heat of Nevada makes it nearly impossible for me to make it through one of those things to the end, completely awake.
You know, you can't blame everything on the dry heat of Nevada. Don't you know that the rule is to blame mfunk? I would have thought that would have sunk in by now.
the better to build up my winter blubber to keep me warm and help sustain me between September and May.
Mmmm. I look forward to seeing your pale, doughy, grublike winter look in the coming months. Start shoveling down the Mike Surprise now to get a head start on that blubber-building.
there's a pre-Target Zellers in the mall about a mile from my home. Doesn't that just amp up the excitement a bit?
Maybe if they weren't being so coy about whether Target is actually coming to Canada or not. Hmmph. What is it with you Canucks and your snobbish, stubborn resistance (and secret love) for all things American?
I think you're mistaking Kreskin with Uri Geller. The former just reads minds; he doesn't ruin silverware.
Bah. What's the point of being psychic if you can't mangle silverware?
distitles
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Aug 31 '04
10:56 am PDT
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Re: Re: Re: Re: What? (Reply to this comment)
by mfunk75
Dis/Sue-
http://www.luckymojo.com/hellmoney10,000.gif
If I print that bill out, and take it down to the local Target (aka Hell's Retail Outlet), how many scented candles do you think it would get me?
-lucimike
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Aug 31 '04
9:45 am PDT
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Re: Re: Re: What? (Reply to this comment)
by mfunk75
MillUrNocket-
I already have. They look a whole lot like Canadian currency.
Do they have little pictures of Lucifer, smiling while holding a sinner above a pit of flames by his ankles, on them? I wonder if the Canadian mint knows about this similarity yet.
Lame.
Why'd you ask then, if you didn't want to know the answer? Yeesh.
http://www.sports-fun.com/styles%20clown.jpg
Moments after this picture was taken, that clown unhinged his jaw and swallowed that little boy hole. And the carnival was ruined.
But.....you lie.
If you don't believe me, then go check out the flicks for yourself. In fact, I challenge you to watch, and review, both "Real Genius" and "Top Secret!" Be sure to watch them and review them with an open mind, the better to fall under the spell of Val's comedic genius.
And where did you unearth this particular phrase?
It's called a dictionary. I'll get you one for Christmas. Until then:
http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=ur-
What were you, gone for eight months?
Didn't you notice? Sigh. It's good to see that my absence left no moink-shaped hole in your life. I wouldn't want to be, you know, missed.
Though you'll read the review when my hell dollars freeze over.
I was wondering why it suddenly got a bit nippy in here. Review: read. Comment: left. Snark: n/a.
In the wheelchair you may call me "Iron Snark".
How about if I just call you "Ironsides"? Or "Dr. X"? Or "Larry Flynt"?
-moink-shaped hole
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Aug 31 '04
9:42 am PDT
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