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Copping Out at the Four Year Mark: Getting To Know Each Other Write-OffMay 18 '04 Write an essay on this topic.
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Today is my “fourth” anniversary here at Epinions. I put fourth in quotes because I couldn’t visit here for a long time, due to the restrictive nature of my relationship with my son’s father. Now I’m back with a quasi-vengeance. Thanks to anyone and everyone who have made my “Return to Self-Esteem” a success. I’m in the mood to review nothing lately. Therefore, to commemorate this day, I’m copping out and filling my Reviews Written count with write-off fluff. This was the fluffiest I could think to join. Now, without further fluffiness, I give you my entry into sarahlovesadam’s immensely popular Getting To Know Each Other Write-Off. (Hey, it’s easier than designing a shiny new profile page.) Birth date: November 2, 197…(I’m 29 & ½ & ½ & ½. You figure it out). The same date as Cookie Monster’s birthday. Height: 5'9" (Yes, I know that’s 69”) Eye color: Bright blue or grey depending on how much displeasure is aimed at you. Hair color: Bleach on bottom, Ash on top (of the head, you pre-vert). Mongo say, “bleach bad”.) Do the curtains match the drapes? Only her hairdresser knows for sure… What does your name mean: Depends on which name. Catherine: pure, Elizabeth: dedicated to God, Bowie: golden-haired; warrior (Mongo already say “bleach bad”) High school graduation year: 1991, er, um, Go Gators? Favorite relatives: My two crumb snatchers, and my sister-by-default, Lori. Summer memory: 1978 – “Mama, it’s hot.” 1983 – “Mama, it’s hot.” 1989 – “Where’s my mom? Shit, it’s hot.” 1995 – “I’m not going out ‘less I have to. Too damn hot.” 2004 – “It’s freaking broiling out and it’s only May!” Favorite TV shows: All the shows I like get canceled in their prime. Beauty & the Beast, Alien Nation, Millennium, and Farscape. Have they canceled Kingdom Hospital yet? I liked it before I quit watching TV, so it's probably canceled. What's on your mousepad: It’s Pooh Bear. Piss off. In the car- AC or windows: I’d use the AC, but it’s R12, and I just can’t afford the recharge. Anyone want to commit a felony for me? Do you believe in yourself: Who? Favorite game: I can’t narrow it down to one. All night Gin-Rummy marathons, Sim-in any incarnation, Chess, UNO Rummy-Up, and Risk (just to name a few). I like to do puzzles, too. Yes, I know this is boring. Keep reading, or I’ll poke you (with a stick, you pre-verts). Favorite drink: Captain Morgan’s Spiced Rum mixed with Dr. Pepper, and Bailey’s and Coke (yes, in the same glass). Favorite food: I hate to eat. Favorite colors: Hunter Green, Royal Purple, and Golden Yellow. Laissez Les Bon Temps Roulez! Favorite cigarettes: Capri Menthol Lights 120’s. Since I can’t afford them, I smoke Misty Menthol Lights 120’s. Yes, I know. You and my kid can gang up on me another time. Shuddup. Favorite sounds: The whole-hearted sardonic laughter of an adult, and the innocent laughter of my kids. Favorite smell: I think that’s getting a little personal, but it’s the smell of a certain someone breathing next to me, just before I drift off to sleep. I haven’t smelled it in ages. Favorite thing to do on a weekend: Spell weekend. Favorite soundtrack: This is like asking which of your children you want beheaded. Where do you see yourself in 10 years: Who thinks up these sadistic questions? I’ll have messed it up further or straightened it up immensely or something in between. I’ll be dying - same as now. First thought in the morning: Caffeine-free (I just kicked the habit) diet cola, cigarette, e-mail. I get up at 4:30 a.m. to have “me time” before arousing the gromlets. Do you get motion sickness: Only when I’m moving. Or am I lying still? Rollercoasters: My six-year-old won’t let me be afraid of them. How many rings before you answer the phone: Depends on who the ID says is a-ringin’. Are you a good friend: Nope. Too self-centered. Just ask any of my friends. Chocolate or Vanilla cake: Not much of a cake eater, but I love the smell/taste of vanilla. I even wear it as perfume. What do you drive: The Evil Twin Bitch of my poor broken down 1987 Dodge Raider. I own three (one Raider, two Mitsubishi Monteros – all 1987 models) Only the red one runs. The Tick always hangs from the rearview of any vehicle I’m currently running. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal: Yes. A velveteen-type rabbit I’ve had since birth. Her name is “Nanny”, and she used to play Brahm’s Lullaby. If you did the math, you’ll know how old she is. Thunderstorms cool or scary: Bring it. If you could meet one person in the World, who would it be: God, and I want some answers. Either that or Ralph Fiennes, and there should only be talking after. What is your zodiac sign: Scorpio. Show of hands for all who are surprised. That’s what I thought. What do you wear to bed: Did I mention it’s hotter than hell and only May? Do you eat stems of broccoli: Sure. Slathered in butter and sparkling with non-iodized salt..They’re healthier that way. Guys- If a girl ever asked you for the shirt on your back, would you give it to her? Not Applicable Girls- Would you ever ask a guy for his shirt? No, he’d get the look. Then I’d shrink his shirt so it fit only me. Is it beginning to show that I can’t tolerate temperature extremes? If you could have any occupation when you get older, what would it be: Shit! You mean I have to get a job? I dunno – a mousewife? If you could dye your hair one color, what would it be: Yellow. Not blonde. Yellow. If you could have a tattoo, what and where would it be: I already have two: A Celtic cross on my right shoulder, and a Claddagh with Eire written in the middle. I also just got a navel piercing. I’m not done tattooing or piercing yet. I’ve got some great back pieces I’m tossing around, plus, my best friend, Lori, and I are designing matching tattoos. (No, I’m not a Third Grader, I just play one on TV). Favorite brand of gum: Whoever makes that melt-in-the-mouth Cotton Candy flavor. What is your favorite quote: I have two biggies at the moment. 1) “For love is by definition an unmerited gift; being loved without meriting it is the very proof of real love. If a woman tells me: I love you because you’re intelligent, because you’re decent, because you buy me gifts, because you don’t chase women, because you do the dishes, then I’m disappointed; such love seems a rather self-interested business. How much finer it is to hear: I’m crazy about you even though you’re neither intelligent nor decent, even though you’re a liar, an egotist, a bastard.” ~Milan Kundera Slowness 2) ”Life is too short to be nursing animosity or registering wrong.” ~ Charlotte Bronte Jane Eyre Have you ever been in love: Is this a trick question? What's on your walls in your room:My house runs the gammut from Kermit Clein to a signed Timothy Bradstreet Vampire print to an original Fantasia laserdisc advert poster to original comic book pages to a plate depicting Christ with the crown of thorns to Farscape figures still on the blister-card. Is the glass half-empty or half-full: Even my blood type is be negative (all kidding aside, it really is). Which do you prefer- Cool Ranch or Nacho Cheese Doritos: I prefer to be shot at dawn. Favorite flavor Snapple: After I’m shot at dawn, I prefer to be drawn and quartered. Which one, Coke or Pepsi: Duh! Which kind of milk is your favorite: White stuff. Cows. Right? I actually like fully fatted white milk. Aaahhh. If you were to kill someone, which method would you use? That’d be evidence, wouldn’t it? Are you a righty, lefty, or ambidextrous: Northpaw? Is there such a thing? Do you type with your fingers on the right keys: Yep. Gotta look at the board, though. I’m trying to break this disgusting habit. Positive reinforcement, people, please. When you meet a person of the opposite sex, you notice their: Eyes. Voice. Intelligence. Smile. Strength. In that order. What's under your bed: Everything I can possibly store there. I fit a three-bedroom house into a two-bedroom trailer. What's the best number in the World: Any number that follows $. What is your dream car: A Tupperware truck, fully dressed. (aka, the Chevy Avalanche). Meanwhile, back in reality, a 1991 Oldsmobile Achieva S, a 1991 Isuzu Rodeo, a 1978-1980 model Olds Cutlass Supreme or anyone of my current trucks decked-out - in no particular order, of course. Who is your biggest crush right now: Ralph Fiennes. Seriously, it's TBA. I just got divorced and broke up with my boyfriend. Did I mention I was a Scorpio? Nickname: Other than Bitch? Bowie. School: College is a part-time hobby spread out amongst years and states. Bacon Bits Or croutons: Yes. Favorite Salad Dressing: Ranch with Bacon. Do you Drink: Hell, I drink your share, too. Not really, but I do imbibe on occasion. What type of Shampoo/Conditioner: Pantene/Pantene Have you ever been skinny dipping: Yes. It ended badly. Do you make fun of people: Of course. It’s too hard not to. I think my sister-in-law said it best when she said the following stolen word: sheeple. Have you ever been convicted of a crime: Can you say Nolle Prosequi? And deservedly so. One pillow or two: Mine, his, yours, theirs… Pets: Grandma and Momma got fished-in. Two male Bettas – in the same tank… Favorite Movies: Gone With the Wind, Jane Eyre (Orson Welles), The English Patient, House of Sand and Fog, and Prince of Egypt. Just for starters. Favorite type of music: See a sample, then know it extends much further than that. Hobbies: This goddamn site. Word or Phrase you overuse: Other than the ‘F’ word? Um, probably, “I’ve got to call my lawyer.” Toothpaste: Crest Tartar Control Whitening with Scope in the squeeze bottle. You can’t cover too many bases at once, you know. Piercing or tattoos: Read above. Do you get along with your parents: My sperm donor and my dad are both deceased. My mom and I try, but there’s a lot of water washing away that bridge and besides, we’re too much alike. Favorite beer: The stout at O’Flaherty’s Irish Pub in New Orleans. It’s where the Celtic Nations meet, you know. Other than that, Amstel Light. Favorite song at the moment: You’re beheading my children again. Most humiliating moment: Entering this write-off? Favorite Holiday: From Halloween to November 2nd. November 2nd is All Souls’ Day or The Day of the Dead, and if you were paying attention, it’s Cookie Monster’s birthday, too. There you go. I hope you enjoyed the fluff and the pimping), because now that I've put you to sleep, you'll have something comfortable to rest your little heady upon.  |
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