The Mid Life Crisis Motorcycle Bargain
May 18 '04
The Bottom Line The Mid Life Crisis Motorcycle Bargain is out there. But it takes patience and skill to find it.
The Unbelievable Story
A friend of mine tells the story of how he had once bought a year-old top of the line BMW for less than half its market price. The Sunday morning want ad went something like, 㥿xx BMW K1100LT, 600 mi., two helmets, jackets, rain suits, saddlebags, adult ridden, dlr svcd, garaged. $6,599 firm. XXX-XXXX.”
Knowing it had to be a misprint, he thought he would get a little entertainment and give the guy a call. First he asked if it had been sold. “Nope, it is still here,” was the answer. Wondering why it had not sold earlier, his interest perked. “Well, the ad seemed to have a misprint or two. What is it really like.” The reply was just what his bank account did not really need that month, “No, I looked it over and there is no misprint.” “I will be right over,” was his answer. Everyone else must have thought it should have said $16,599 or 600,000 miles!
As he rode into the very upscale neighborhood, he felt just a little out of place. Knocking on the door he was met by what appeared to be the guy’s trophy wife, who said something like, “Looks like you are finally going to get rid of that thing!” Uh oh, my friend thought he was going to be in the middle of an episode of Cops if he did not handle it right.
The bike turned out to be exactly like the ad said. There were also brand new gloves, shop manuals, and a bunch of other nice to have stuff. It even still smelled new! So he had to ask. “I had always wanted a motorcycle, but the first marriage had too many things in the way. Guess that did not help. But now I could afford anything I wanted, and I was going to get a motorcycle. When I pulled into the driveway the surprise went sour. All she could say was ‘What is that?’ The price? Oh, that is what I still owe on it. Did I mention that my wife is a physical therapist?”
I have stories close to this one, but it is easily the best I have ever heard (and sadly, I know it is true).
The Mid Life Crisis Motorcycle
Like urban legend about the 1954 Chevy convertible that turns out to be a Corvette, the mid life crisis motorcycles are really out there, but you have got to know how to find them. Go through the Sunday want ads and look for the code words. The code words in a want ad do have meaning. The most important ones are: last year’s model, low mileage, two helmets, new rain suits, dealer serviced, jackets, and a telephone number from that neighborhood I can not afford to live in.
Want Ad Code Words
Last Year’s Model – The guy bought his dream machine and found out that there is more to riding a motorcycle than looking like Peter Fonda in Easy Rider. After a year of payments, now he wants that boat his wife will approve of.
Low Mileage – She not only will not ride with him, she gives him a hard time every time he comes back from a ride. If his weekends are going to be ruined, he would rather leave it in the garage. Then after a year of payments that boat sure looks good.
Two Helmets – The dreams of “we are going to have this adventure together” ended with “What is that?”
Rain suits – After getting caught in the rain on that first ride, he bought them to prove that it could be just as comfortable as their Lexus. She did not buy it.
Adult Ridden – That one screams Mid Life Crisis!
Dealer Serviced – Do you really think that this guy’s wife could handle a home oil change without knowing that everything would be properly recycled?
Matching Jackets – I think that the conversation ended with something like, “You want me to wear what?”
Low Price - Why is the price really that low? The price is usually based on what his dealer has told him the bike is now worth to him if he buys it outright, or what he still owes on it. And I will bet that it is not rounded to any even $100 either.
Telephone Number – If the guy is also over thirty and lives in that neighborhood, this was disposable income. Now that he has disposed of a chunk of that income, his wife believes that it could have gone toward a cruise. If the guy is under thirty, you can bet that he is a poser who has read too many squid magazines and his insurance agent has stopped returning his telephone calls.
The Rules of Engagement
When you go look at the bargain bike there are a couple of special rules that you have got to obey. First, leave any jackets with motorcycle club or racing team logo on them at home, his wife might shoot at you with the .25 automatic she carries in her purse (she just knew that thing would attract those kinds of people). The price will jump to make you leave quicker. Second, do not stare at the trophy wife. He has made his decision, and that is his top priority. Finally, I will bet that there is a scuff on one of the grips or crash bars. Usually that is OK. Chances are that he dropped it taking it off the stand, or pulling out of the driveway before the last ride. If nothing important is bent or broken, it is going to lower the sales price because of the direct connection with the guy’s ego. He does not want you to even ask.
Great Expectations
Do not expect to find these every weekend. They usually show up in the early spring or late fall. That is why you have got to look for the code words I told you about. Sometimes there is nothing but the brand and year, so then you have got to prod for the story to come out. Then listen for the code words. If you do not hear most or all of them, you had better decide just how much you can afford to spend. That way you can hang up when before you lose your well earned nest egg. Patience is a requirement. You might still have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find that prince of a deal.
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