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What?! (krissingene's Truth is Stranger Than Fiction W/O)May 26 '04 Write an essay on this topic.
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The Bottom Line Yeah, I'm definitely one bottle short of a crate full.
krissingene's Truth Is stranger than fiction write-off It's absobloodylutely true, though, sometimes truth is stranger than fiction, as has been demonstrated in the entries into this W/O so far. So for what it's worth, I thought I'd share a little bit of my quirky and oddball life you. I used to have a pet snail called Arthur I found a snail one day on my front door. Not wanting to put it in the grass to get stood on or eaten by the local mutt, I decided to take it in. I put Arthur (as I'd now named him) in a small fishtank I had lurking in a cupboard, with the intention of taking him over to the field at the back of my house sometime later. However, Arthur got put into the room where I keep all my Videos and CDs and wotnot, and each day I would take him fresh water and bits of salad to munch on. This went on for quite some time, before I got to the stage where I couldn't part with him. So, I got him a bigger tank, and some bits and pieces for him to wander in and out of (fake skull head, little house thingy) and there he stayed. I kept him for approximately 2 years, almost the entire lifespan of a snail, before he eventually died. I miss Arthur (or Arthur Michelle, to give him his full name) I once frightened the Bejesus out of a poor, unsuspecting woman on a bouncy castle It was summer last year, and it was quite a decent one for a change, so my friends Alexis, Jan and Peter and I went for trips out quite a lot. One particular weekend we went to the coast. It was a typical summer's day and lots of people were out and about. Anyway, we stopped at this pub restaurant to get something to eat, and just opposite was a fairground. We were sitting on a table outside, when for some reason I forget, there was an altercation between Jan and myself so he wandered off, Alexis and Peter had gone inside. So, that left me sat there slightly annoyed and feeling somewhat upset. About 20 feet away from me on this fun fair, was one of those inflatable bouncy castles, and what caught my attention was the fact it was called "Air Force Fun". Then this woman gets on the castle and starts bouncing about with all the little 5 year olds and it struck me as really funny, so there she was just amusing herself, bouncing up and down like a loon. When I suddenly got this urge..so I stood up and ran really quickly towards the thing, you could see the look of panic on her face as I got closer, then I hurled myself onto it landing but inches from her. There was look a of pure horror on her face as she yelled; "Jibbers!!! I never expected that!" I was assaulted in a cafe in Amsterdam, by a Dutch waitress Last year I went on holiday to Amsterdam. One morning I had the mother of all hangovers and decided to wander down to this cafe for some coffee just beside our hotel. A section of the tables outside had been taped off whilst they cleaned up, but this meant I'd have to walk all the way round to the front entrance, and with my head barking as it was, all I wanted to do was quickly get my coffee and sit down, so I stepped over the tape and began walking towards the door, when this waitress, who'd just come outside, started yelling at me and waving this towel about that she had. I was having none of it, I tried to explain that I was just taking a short cut, then she hits me with her bloody towel! The next thing you know, she's chasing me out of the immediate cafe area, swearing in Dutch, it was like a farcical Benny Hill moment. A few bits and pieces And here are a few odds and ends pertaining to my quirks and weirdness. I collect movie and television toys. Ok, I suppose many people do, but not at 33! I have a range of movie toys, from Star Wars, LOTR, The Matrix, Buffy, Angel etc, my favourite is an 18" Pinhead that talks ("We'll teeeeear your soul apaaaaaart"), as well as a Yoda furby type thing that giggles and tells you it tickles when you touch it in certain areas. I write all my notes for reviews in a furry bright pink Banana Splits notebook. My cat thinks her name's "Wench". I have very odd memory association, for instance, when I see a bag of McCain Home Fries, I always recall details from various levels of LOTR: Fellowship of the Ring Xbox game. Chickens make me laugh. I'm afraid of sponges. I can't stand anything with lumps in it (foodwise), A stray lump in some mashed potato would send me gagging to the nearest loo, as would a bit of fruit in a yoghurt. I think cheese is the spawn of the dairy anti-christ. I was once chased by a UFO, I couldn't run fast enough, so I posted my shoes in a letter box, then ran through someone's house and stole some baked beans, made it to a block of apartments, got in the lift, and when I got to the top floor, there were Japanese snipers hiding in the trees pointing guns at me (ok, maybe that was a dream) I always sing Sinatra's "Strangers in the Night" in the shower. I once dated a girl for 7 years. (that one's a poser, eh?) I think spiders are cute. The Smiths put me in a good mood. All my houseplants have names (eg; Gertrude, Cecil, Frank, Bjorn) I give all my animals middle names and nicknames, a few examples of previous pets (all cats unless otherwise stated); Jethro Archibald (Jed), Caesar Frederick (Weeze), Alexei Albert (Alex), Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde (Wowsipop), Cleopatra Jezebel (Wench), Wesley Cravenbeast (Wes, mouse) Ok, I'd better leave it there before it starts getting silly, or you think I'm really strange. Anyhoo, cheers to krissingene for hosting this W/O, most enjoyable sharing (errr, ish) it has been. To take part, please go here; http://www.epinions.com/content_3899564164 Cheers.  |
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