The Drunken Dragon of Epinions Invades "General Poetry" Goldschlager Style

Jun 5, 2004 (Updated Jun 25, 2004)

The Bottom Line Drinkin' like the answer to my problem's at the bottle's bottom

Hello ladies and gentlemen and welcome to the drunken poetry hour with CrypticCradle. Tonight, I have been chillin' with my dad, drinking Goldschlager, and well, I will now write poetry. This event is hosted by Louis Logic, who will be performing the first verse from his song "Drunken Dragon".

And it goes a little something like this...

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Follow the sounds of the drunken dragon
And just imagine recovering alchi’s jumping from the wagon (look out!)
Someone’s stabbin’ in and your mom knows
It’s the king of put downs, the most ignorant snot-nose

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"Mild Melancholy"

Wallow, you know it's a trophy you can grasp
Dwell on the strike-outs of always finishing last

Life has been a slow leaking poison, a sickly vile
Fronted with a smile plus an apathy stockpile
That crosses a mile through the vacant eye of a child
Whose naked body touches the cold tile (remember our ignorance?)

Cross the desert of maturation and find more sand
F!ck the whole plan and then you become a (wo)man
Over minor chords on the synthesizer of Budweiser
Clarity becomes a plugged geyser turned styleizer

Wallow today because it's a path with no intersection
Grasp that trophy like your last erection

- - -

Who got flows much liver
Than a 2Pac show
A drunk, wired, truck drivers
On caffeiene pills
My nasty spills surpass the thrills
Of the chance to chill in bed with two muff divers

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"A Bottle To A Glass"

You are a drug that the government hasn't banned
Quicksand to this man, stumbling to stand (in your presence)

Am I talking to a bottle or her, it's hard to figure
'Cause a girl is like liquor making you feel bigger

Goooooldschlager, 87 Proof (43.5% alcohol dissolved)

Herrrr, 200 Proof, my world revolved

It has me stumblin', she has me mumblin'

Yet there is only one I love, one addiction
Only one I dream about in works of fiction
A fairy-tale land of costumes and band-stands
A place that only exists in my adrenaline glands

There is only one leg I want to hold in my arms
There is only one charm that sets off reasoning's alarm

And then I hit the snooze button...

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F!ck a budweiser
I’d rather taste the geyser of Jagermeister
Squirtin’ out a stripped and shaved vagina
What a way to find an artist waitin’ for the show to start

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"I Feel Like A Star In The Sky"

I glow
I am isolated
Darkness surrounds me on each side
I feel like a star in the sky

Alone, I will die

Darkness is comfort
An eternal shade of spades that blankets my days

I love the other stars
Perhaps because I view them from afar

I only see out of two eyes in the sky
Alone I will die

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Don’t snooze punk, there was two drunks on Noah’s ark
Throwin’ darts in Jehova’s bar, sippin’ smooth rum
Schemin’ on how to stick the only chicken’s who would come
You bet ya a-s if Lou was one I would’ve had them both
Super-drunk on jack ‘n cokes and crash the boat

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Let's all be moderate, it's a well balanced diet!
Let's try it! Let's eat veggie pizza at a riot!

Let's be agreeable! Let's not take chances!
Why not give it a good f!cking?!
Why not say f!ck it to romances?!

Let's fill the bed-spread full of dread!
No thinking! No revolution! Be brain-dead!

No progress!

No humanity test!

Hey I got a good idea...
Let's let Canada be the idealists!
We'll be the realists!
And we won't expect one God damned thing from our population!
Let the Lord bless this apathetic nation!

Let's be atheists to caring for each other!
After all, he isn't _really_ my brother!
A vote - just another!

- - -

Hey J! (what's goin' on Lou?)
Let's get it started
Respect the artist at the bar so much he's never carded
It's, two for us and none for you!
So who can f!ck with J on the beats
Or get as drunk as...

...Eric aka CrypticCradle!

- - -

"Love You (In A Couplet)"

Lay your head on my chest and feel my heart beat
Please don't tell me I ever have to leave this seat

- - -

Peace 'n love ya'll. Swallow them keys and call a cab!

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