The Background

June, 2001. I just graduated from college, and was starting a new job soon. I grew up and went to school in Massachusetts, and now I was moving to Charlotte, North Carolina temporarily for a job assignment, knowing that I would be moving around the country in the next few years. I needed a national wireless plan, one that would allow me to not only call anywhere in the country but travel anywhere in the country.

The Deal

I took Verizon's entry-level National plan, which included 150 peak minutes, and 2000 weekend minutes. For all intents and purposes, my weekends were free, because there is no one I know that can possibly spend over 8 hours on the phone every weekend. Note: my weekend began Saturday morning at 12:00 AM and ended Monday morning at 12:00 AM. Weeknight minutes came off of my 150 peak minutes. I signed a contract for two years, not because I had to but because I wanted to because of my job. My plan did not charge long-distance or roaming, meaning I could go anywhere and call anywhere in the US- just what I needed. The package rang in at a very reasonable $35 a month.

The Skinny

Soon after getting my plan (I chose LG's EXCELLENT new mini-phone with the caller ID on the outside, but Verizon gets no credit for it because they didn't make it, although they stuck their name on it), I moved to Charlotte. I kept my Massachusetts area code so my friends and family back home could call me without incurring long-distance charges. I explained this scenario to the Verizon person who sold me the plan, and they said this was completely fine.

I get my first bill, and it comes to a delightful $278. No, I didn't miss a decimal. Yes, they actually tried to charge me almost $300 on my first bill. I looked at my bill very carefully and noticed that they had miscalculated my Peak and Off-Peak and Weekend Minutes. Confusing? You don't know the half of it. Verizon uses a very complicated coding system that assigns each call a code depending on what time of day it was made. To make a long story short, I went over my 150 peak minutes by about 30 minutes, which I knew and expected to pay for, but when I tried to explain this to the customer rep she told me I was wrong and to count up every single minute myself. I did, and it turns out I was right. So I called back and spoke to another rep, and explained the problem to them. They told me I was wrong and to count the minutes myself. I told them I did. As they were replying the phone cut off, or they hung up on me. You be the judge. So I called back and finally got ahold of a girl who seemed to be in a pretty good mood. The customer rep was very friendly but relatively clueless, not bothering to look into my problem until I explained it to her in excruciating detail. In the end, she credited my account, but for the wrong amount. She made a mistake while correcting someone else's mistake, so I called back and spoke to another friendly rep who fixed it for me.

I get my second bill, this time for $80. The same problem- they were charging me for some calls I made on the weekend, and miscalculated some of my peak minutes. I only had to talk to two reps this time, and the guy I talked to was very friendly, listened to what I had to say and apologized for the errors. Once again I went over my peak minutes and expected to pay more than my $35 monthly charge, but he wiped out all those extra charges for me because of all the mistakes they had made.

The next step up from the $35 plan was the $55 plan, which included 500 peak minutes. I decided to upgrade my plan and hopefully save some future hassle, so I called Verizon again. When I dialed the 800 # (1-800-922-0204), a local rep in North Carolina always picks up and has to transfer me to a Massachusetts branch. This time, when I called they transferred me to a relocation center that told me I needed to change my telephone number because I had moved. I didn't want to to do this because then my family couldn't call me as a local call. So I waited until they inevitably put me on hold, and I promptly hung up. I called back and spoke to another rep who didn't tell me I needed to do the whole relocation thing, and she said she would mail me a new contract for an even better plan- $35 a month, 300 peak minutes, 1500 weekend AND weeknight minutes a month, no long distance, no roaming along the East coast from Maine to South Carolina. It's a great deal for what I need right now. Two weeks have passed, and no contract has arrived.

So I called back yesterday and tried to get another rep to help me change my plan. The first one was having a bad day and wasn't very friendly. He transferred me to the relocation center. I figured I would try talking to them for a change. I was on hold for 23 minutes when I finally hung up and called back. Keep in mind that every time I call I have to talk to someone in NC who then has to transfer me to MA. Can someone explain to me why a communications juggernaut such as Verizon doesn't allow all of its reps access to the same database of information across the country? It seems hopelessly archaic to me to regionalize data access the way they do. So anways I call back and this time I tell the rep that I don't want to be put on hold for another 20 minutes. He says he will give me the 800# for Verizon in MA. He puts me on hold for 4 minutes and then comes back to tell me that the # is 1-800-922-0204. Yes, it took him 4 minutes just to give me the same # I just dialed. I just sighed and asked him to transfer me himself. He did and I started to explain my situation to a lady in Boston. She wasn't very friendly either. She started freaking out that I hadn't gone through relocation. I said I didn't want a new #, I just wanted a new plan. She hung up on me.

So I called back once again and the rep answers- "This is Todd, how may I provide you with Verizon's excellent service???" I almost told him that he could start by swallowing the headpiece for his phone but I kept my cool. I told him I wanted a new plan and he asked for my telephone #, as they always do. I told him the area code was a Massachusetts one and not a North Carolina one and he would have to transfer me. He asked me why I had a MA area code. I told him that I got my plan there and moved to Charlotte. He asked me if I wanted a new plan in SOUTH Carolina. I said no, I live in North Carolina. He asked me why I don't have a plan in North Carolina right now. I told him again how I got my plan in MA and then moved to Charlotte, NC. He was quiet for a minute but then asked me where exactly in South Carolina I live. I told him I lived in North, not South Carolina. He put me on hold for 10 minuntes and then hung up on me.

I called back yet again and this time I just asked the rep to transfer me to the Boston office. They asked why and I told them. I said I wanted a new rate plan and they said ok, we'll transfer you. I told him before he transfers me that I want him to understand A) I don't want to talk to the relocation center, and B) I am tired of being put on hold for 10 minutes at a time and I want him to make sure he has someone for me to talk to before he transfers me up there. He puts me on hold for 5 minutes and then transfers me to the relocation center. I was getting quite annoyed by this point but I really wanted to change my plan so I talked to the relocation rep. I told her I didn't want a new cell phone #, I just wanted to change my plan. She told me I have to get a new #. I said that it doesn't make any sense because I'm going to be moving again soon anyways. She put me on hold and then transferred me yet again. As I sat listening to that infernal music, the line was disconnected.

I was about to call back when I figured my energy would be better spent warning future potential consumers about the dangerously mediocre, lackluster, and unnervingly difficult to deal with customer service at Verizon.

The Conclusion

Verizon Wireless's account statement is needlessly complicated and disturbingly shady. Good luck trying to figure out exactly how much you owe. And you're going to need more than luck to decipher your usage by minute so I'm not even going to say anything to you about that. I titled my review Simple? Affordable? National? and now I can explain why. As you can see it's certainly not simple, and the claim that they're national or that they can offer a national plan is laughable- they can't even offer nationwide customer service through an 800 #, it has to be localized.

Oh, and yes, for those of you out there who are web-savvy, as I consider myself to be, I tried the whole online thing and Verizon is even worse at that. You have to have all these PINs and access codes and in the end the only thing the system is really good for is to make it easier for them to take your money.

One last thing, once you exceed your monthly allowance of Peak minutes, they charge you $.40 per minute. That's not so bad considering what others charge, but Verizon has added a very conniving and cheatful feature that takes away about 20 seconds from your first minute. If you have a new voicemail, it will display a little envelope icon on your screen (depending on the phone, it may notify you another way). Unless you're blind or illiterate, you don't need anything else to tell you that you have a new voicemail. But when you do have new voicemail, when you place a call a guy comes on in a cheery voice and says "You have new voicemail in your voice mailbox." (or something to that effect, it's ridiculous) He carefully pronounces each word and then there is silence for a good 8 seconds. I have a call timer on my phone and you are actually charged from the minute that the guy tells you you have new voicemail, so that cuts down your first minute time. Sometimes you just need to talk to someone for a minute and Verizon has narrowed the all-important first minute down to about 40 seconds. To make matters worse, even after you listen to all of your new voicemail, you still get new voicemail notifications (Verizon calls this a "ghost message" and you need to call them so that everytime you use your phone that guy won't tell you you have a message even when you don't- this has happened twice to me in two months).

I've tried to be as objective as possible and just list the facts. You can make your own decisions but I hope you'll take mine and other people's reviews into accounts. I'm sure you've seen all those commercials where people are flashing the peace sign as a double for the "V" in Verizon wireless. They might as well not put their index fingers up- it would be more reflective of their corporate mindset.

I've tried to be as objective as possible and just list the facts. You can make your own decisions but I hope you'll take mine and other people's reviews into accounts.

Recommended: No

Amount Paid (US$): too much