More annoying answers to more annoying questions...NAVELGAZIN W/O
Jul 23 '04
The Bottom Line If you're really hooked on annoying questions, try some more...
(You know you want to.)
You know, you think you've stumbled onto a truly original idea, and it never fails, someone's beat you to the punch. (And I thought I was the only one who could be that annoying...) So I must respectfully remove my hat to mfunk75 for his NAVELGAZIN Write off, which is almost as annoying as mine.
On to the annoying questions:
1. What is your real name!
Would that be real as in actual, or real as in the opposite of unreal?
2. What is your Epinions.com name!
I usually call it Eps for short…inions sounds too much like onions.
3. Where are you currently located!
In front of the computer, typing. It would be awfully hard to answer these annoying questions from the bathroom, don’t you think?
4. How long have you been a member here!!
A member? Of what? I haven’t been inducted into the Masons yet…isn’t that a secret society for architects and builders?
5. What is your e-mail address!
Ah, I see, you’re trying to supplement your meager Eps income by selling e-mail addresses to gambling site promoters. Nice try. You’ll have to work for it.
6. Do you have a homepage!
I don’t live in a book, I have a regular home, although it does have two stories…
7. I bet you have some favourite websites you want to tell us about, yeah!
Well, I’ve been spending a lot of time at this site called Epinions, which I call Eps for short, where people can write reviews of products and other such nonsense (waste of time) and actually earn money for doing it (what a joke)—and part of the idea is to rate other people’s reviews and get yours rated “Very Helpful” (circle jerk) and even get other people to add you to their “Web of Trust”, which can boost your income (yeah right). You should check it out sometime. It’s http://www.epinions.com.
8. In fifteen words or less, give us a personal message! Remember, it can't be more than fifteen words!
words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words
I don’t’ know, that didn’t seem very personal to me. Is fifteen some sort of magic number, and when Epinions’ magic-review-posting-page comes up, it will transform it into something meaningful? Usually it just transforms things into garbledygook, but I bet that’s because I didn’t know you had to use the magic number…
9. How many reviews have you written (Wow, that's a lot! Who do you think you are, Shakespeare! LOLOL)
I’m not sure, but they’re beginning to be overwhelmed by these annoying write off entries…
10. How many member visits do you have!
I haven’t visited any members yet. It’s because every time I try to ask people for their full name, address, phone number, Social Security number and Credit Card with expiration date, they give me all sorts of annoying and silly answers…
11. Total visits!
Hmmm…that’s a tough question…how many visits have I made all my life, or since I had kids and couldn’t leave the house? Visits to church? I used to visit my grandmother all the time, because she lived right around the corner, but she died a few years ago, thanks so much for reminding me…I better go visit my therapist again…
12. How much have you earned so far from Epinions.com! (C'mon, you can tell us! We won't hit you up for a loan, promise! ROTFLMFAO!!)
(I know, I know, most of these can be found on your profile page! But I like superfluous questions as much as the next w/o host! Heh!)
I love it! I’m making money from the comfort of my own home, and it means so much to me that I can be home with my children and still earn enough income that I don’t have to feel bad about having left the workforce! Come on, do you want to be stuck working in that 9 to 5 job all your life?!? Join our program and you too can be independently wealthy! Just send a $1500 cashiers’ check, your signed paperwork including all the information from #10 above, and your firstborn, and I’ll send you the secret of success!
(I know, I know, most of these type of messages make you want to strangle someone, but this one’s different! Really!!!!!!!!! Trust me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
13. What is your favourite day of the week!
The one where I get to sleep in…oh, wait, all my kids are up and raising the roof by 7AM, no matter what day it is! I never get to sleep in! ~choked sob~
14. Tell us your luckiest number!
If I did, then everybody else would try to win the lottery with it, and when my big jackpot comes, I’ll have to share it with all 12 of you! I play the lottery every day, I even spend my lunch money on those scratch-off cards. I won enough for lunch once, but I spent it on more lottery tickets. I can't help it, I just love the lottery! LOLOL!!!!!
15. Let's hear your favourite prime number!
I would list it, but it’s way too long.
16. Cats… cute and fuzzy love-beasts or meowonderful! (be careful how you answer this, because I have 5 cats myself!! I call them Sporty, Scary, Sexy, Baby, and Spicey, cause they are so damn cute!! LOL!)
After living in Rome for a year with all those skanky wild cats, I have developed an innate fear of unknown cats. (Did you know that you can develop an innate fear? And you thought you had to be born with it! hah!)
17. Tell me your favourite palindrome!
Huh…and Sadam’s madam’s mad as DNA, huh?
And ‘tis, is it, DNA?
…Mad as Sadam?
18. Tell us which wife of Henry VIII you relate to most!
Hmmm, let’s see…Dark Hair and Skin, Coquette, Married a real prince, Had a daughter born September 7, would lose my head if it weren’t attached to my shoulders…definitely Anne Boleyn.
19. Which is your favourite Moon of Jupiter!
If it were Jupiter’s favorite moon, it wouldn’t be mine, now would it?
20. If you were a time zone in the Eastern Hemisphere, which time zone would you be!!
Ok, I know I’ve gained weight, but that’s a bit excessive, don’t you think?
21. Who is the bestest Patron Saint of sexual temptation (Uh-oh! This one could get naughty!!)
I never did find out the name of that black dude whose statue came to life after Madonna danced around him for a while in her video…
22. I like chemistry! Tell me which is your favourite chemical element adjacent to technetium on the periodic table!
MobiDenum...explains a lot, doesn't it?
23. If you could go back and live in one epoch of the Cenozoic era, which epoch of the Cenozoic era would you choose!
Can I choose not to go back in time? I mean, really, that is just going to mess up my hair beyond all imagination. Geez, I might as well just shave my head if it comes to that.
24. Quote us a line from your favourite Old English epic poem!
No, don’t “do” Beowulf, sorry. Dante’s more my speed.
25. If you could have lunch with one of the winners of the Bank of Sweden's Nobel Prize for Economic Sciences (in Memory of Alfred Nobel!) who would it be!
If I really wanted to be bored to death, I’d rate some more express reviews, thank you.
26. Who is your favourite mythological trickster! (BTW, you can't choose Loki Laufeyiarson, the Norse god of mischief, cuz he's mine! Ladies -- hands off!!)
Actually, I can never seem to decide between Scylla and Charybdis…a monster with 12 feet and 6 heads, or one that sucks water in and out 3 times a day…and both used to be beautiful nymphs until some jealous guys got involved…no wonder they loved killing sailors.
27. Favourite American Transcendentalist author!
Homer Simpson.
28. If we were to find you browsing through the Apocrypha of the Old Testament, which book would we most likely find you hunched over! (Sit up straight, young man! You'll ruin your posture reading that way! Haha!)
Um…see #25.
29. Which is your favourite of Zeno's paradoxes! (For this one, and this one only, you can choose more than one! Don't ever say I never did anything for you!!)
Zeno was a dork. I mean, how many Greeks do you know (besides Aesop) who think the hare can’t catch the tortoise?
30. Which is your favourite perpetual motion machine!
I have three children, but honestly, who can choose which is their favorite?
Well, that's about it, I'm afraid. If you think you can do better, check out mfunk75's page. (Mine's much more annoying, though...)
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Epinions.com ID:
mothra3
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 - Top 1000 |
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Location: oblivion, awaiting a heroic rescue
Reviews written: 48
Trusted by: 27 members
About Me:
Loss of mind now complete. I am, however, feeling much better...
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