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by mommy_quigg
Thank you for this, Mary.
I'm 3.5 months out from my 3rd miscarriage and I feel like I've stopped living.
Anyways, it helps to hear others' stories and know I'm not alone.
Anna
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Aug 01 '08
6:19 pm PDT
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Re: Re: Words well written (Reply to this comment)
by mismamac,  in Kids & Family
Bless you Mary.
As I said, I'll keep you and William (too) in my prayers.
Jamie
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Aug 26 '07
7:04 pm PDT
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Re: Words well written (Reply to this comment)
by marybatson
Thank you so much for your kind words of wisdom! I LOVE the idea of the charm bracelet. I planted a tree for each loss, and when the trees bloom, I think of each pregnancy. It's a wonderful way to think of them in the positive, rather than in the negative, just like your bracelet.
I needed your comment today. I've been dealing with some evaluations and things on the son I do have, and it's caused a lot of stress. Your comment helped to remind me of how much I love him, and not to take each day for granted.
HUGS to you,
Mary :)
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Aug 24 '07
12:48 pm PDT
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Words well written (Reply to this comment)
by mismamac, in Kids & Family
Thank you for sharing this. Like Kimm, I don't know how or why it took me this long to read it.
I'm so sorry that you've been through the pregnancy losses. I know from personal experience that it never gets easier.
I have lost 4 pregnancies - 5 babies total (twins). There's not a single day that doesn't pass when I don't think about them.
Part of what is helping me heal from my grief is that I've added charms for each baby (round/flat disk) to an existing bracelet. My husband gave me a bracelet after our (adopted) daughter was born. The bracelet has a charm for each of us with our initials & date of birth. I decided it would be a wonderful way for me to remember the lives that would have been, rather than grieving what was lost. Each charm has, rather than initials, "my baby" on one side and the month and year of the due date on the other.
My babies were a part of me and still are...I carry them in my heart and now they have been added to my family bracelet...after all, they too deserve a place on there. And I can look at it and feel a little more at peace.
I was glad to see your Do's and Don't list as well. I received more than my fair share of unwelcome advice from people who meant well. But in the end they really hurt me.
We've yet to conceive and deliver a baby. It has been over 2 years since my last pregnancy. I think it's time we give up and move on too. I received some grim news last year from my infertility dr. He gave me a less than 3% chance of conceiving using IVF and my own eggs.
I love my daughter more than words could possibly explain so I would be more than happy to simply adopt again. Besides, I'll be 36 next week so time isn't exactly on my side either way.
I'll keep my fingers crossed for you and say a prayer too.
Jamie
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Aug 23 '07
3:31 pm PDT
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Re: Thanks for the link (Reply to this comment)
by marybatson
Thanks Kimm! You must feel overwhelmed right now with two little ones, and another on the way. Plus, you're in the home stretch, and it's hot outside ... I've had two subsequent miscarriages, and have decided now at 42 to stop trying. We're considering adoption, so we'll see what life brings.
Thanks for the comments, and a supportive hug right back at you!
Mary :)
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Jun 16 '07
7:12 am PDT
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Thanks for the link (Reply to this comment)
by KMINER, in Kids & Family
on your main page.
Thanks for reminding me today to just be grateful for the beauty of today. I really needed this today.
I must have missed this review when it was first written ... or maybe I was just meant to have seen it today.
(hugs) Kimm
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Jun 15 '07
11:33 am PDT
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Re: Thank you (Reply to this comment)
by marybatson
Thank you for your comment, and I'm sorry for your loss. I hope in time you will heal, and conceive again.
Mary :)
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Jul 26 '06
7:17 am PDT
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Thank you (Reply to this comment)
by mommy_quigg
for writing this piece. Noone seems to understand that there is a lot of grief with an early miscarriage also. I miscarried at 9 weeks on April 7, 2006. I'm glad your husband was supportive for you.
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Jul 25 '06
8:42 am PDT
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Re: Re: Good advice (Reply to this comment)
by hadassahchana
Oh Mary, I'm so sorry to hear that. You're still in my prayers.
Btw, you've gotten a lot of comments from many of us who've also gone through many miscarriages. If you think it would help, write to those that you think might be able to help. It's sometimes hard in real life to find friends who can bear to hear your grief, and if talking to an email frined will help pull you through this, then feel free to write. I know the others will feel that way, too.
Hugs and prayers,
Cindy
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Jul 18 '05
7:14 am PDT
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Re: Good advice (Reply to this comment)
by marybatson
Hi Nancy thank you for your comment. Yes, I've healed from this miscarriage, but recently had a D&C for a possible ectopic pregnancy. I'm really quite devastated, and taking it day by day.
Thank you for your thoughts. It's good to know others have experienced the same thing, as you don't feel so alone.
Mary
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Jul 17 '05
1:38 am PDT
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Good advice (Reply to this comment)
by nwinston
speaking as someone who's been there way too many times. I hope you're healing.
Nancy
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Jul 16 '05
3:05 pm PDT
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Thank you for sharing . . . (Reply to this comment)
by NormLoni
Thank you for sharing your story. I am a mom that has had three miscarried babies and a stillborn daughter, so I know your pain. I know the waiting, the wanting, and the heartbreak. I know too how much it helps to share, and keep this special baby's memory alive. I am thankful for your faith in the Lord. If you visit my profile, you will find links to "our story" and our ministry outreach to moms who have lost babies. Thanks again for sharing. Loni
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Sep 02 '04
12:48 pm PDT
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@[xxxx]§::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::> (Reply to this comment)
by flamepillar
Sometimes indeed I wonder why they say that everything happens for a reason, because no amount of reasons can explain or justify this kind of tragedy. It's frustrating when things are out of your control and so much is at stake, but I'm a long way from ever comprehending that kind of emotional pain, so far be it for me to even speak on the issue.
I just wanted you to know I care.
My prayers are your prayers.
See ya
TIM
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Aug 12 '04
8:17 pm PDT
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Words of sympathy (Reply to this comment)
by thriftymommy
Although your heart is broken now, and my words may seem flippant, after four miscarriages and three babies, I can honestly tell you nothing anyone says will make you feel better.
Not your husband, not your family. Please, connect with a Compassionate Friends or like support group if there is one in your area. I went for months without talking; just listening to people who have experienced the same trauma and are in all different stages of grief and recovery aids me daily in overcoming my losses.
Note also that a miscarriage ensures fertility; the fact that you have one child already and have suffered a loss does indeed support your fertility.
I do not mean to sound cold in that statement; quite the contrary. I just wish to assure you that your loss is not the end; just the opposite.
Thank you so much for your courage in sharing your loss with this community. My prayers are with you and your family.
God Bless,
April
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Aug 12 '04
3:31 pm PDT
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I am so (Reply to this comment)
by msmorvay
very sorry to hear about your loss. As someone who has gone through this painful experience myself, I know there is probably nothing I can say to help you feel better. Just know that my heart goes out to.
Take care,
Rae
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Aug 12 '04
4:30 am PDT
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Words can not express (Reply to this comment)
by mountainhigh
how much I can feel your sorrow and loss. May God Bless You and your family Mary.
Kathy
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Aug 11 '04
11:29 pm PDT
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Hugs & Prayers (Reply to this comment)
by krissingene
I'm so sorry for your loss, Mary - I know this week must be hard for you, but I'm sure that your story will touch and help others in the same situation. Thank you so much for sharing it with us.
Wishing you peace,
Kristin
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Aug 10 '04
11:52 am PDT
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((((Dear Mary)))) (Reply to this comment)
by Jev04again
I offer you my warmest thoughts and even though our experiences are different, I understand your loss. I have two babies waiting for me in heaven and that is how I personally deal with it. I shared my story about my first loss, and it helped a little bit.
You're a strong woman who has gone through a deep heartbreak, and only God knows why. I admire your heart, dear.
Thank you so much for writing this. I hope that many, many other parents will read it and gain hope and help from it. God bless you.
Warmly -
- Sunni
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Aug 10 '04
3:50 am PDT
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Oh Mary... (Reply to this comment)
by bonzobean
You really touched me with this. Your strength in being able to write this will touch many women who are struggling and searching the internet in search of help and compassion.
I've written of my pregnancy difficulties and get emails from women thanking me and looking for support when facing the same challenges. Right now, in fact, I have one woman who has been emailing me after finding my review and she may be miscarrying (but I am really praying all is well with her). I know that you'll be able to reach out to other hurting women as well and that is a blessing. You are a blessing.
Thank you for sharing with us.
Bonzo
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Aug 09 '04
10:57 pm PDT
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So sorry, Mary. (Reply to this comment)
by pippadaisy
This was an incredible piece. I've never been able to write about my losses, but you do an incredible job.
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Aug 09 '04
8:09 pm PDT
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Tears and Hugs of support (Reply to this comment)
by marytara,  in Kids & Family
I know how it feels and still cry sometimes about my little boys or girls that never were.
Thank you for writing this. Know that you are not alone.
~MaryTara
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Aug 09 '04
7:31 pm PDT
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God Bless! (Reply to this comment)
by laweiler1
I too know the pain, I to hold it in. The LORD is with us and he will always reign on us forever.
LAW
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Aug 09 '04
6:16 pm PDT
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My prayers.... (Reply to this comment)
by kamel622, in Kids & Family
....are with you. This is not a fun club to join, but your words will be of comfort to others who will have to walk this road in the future.
I'm so sorry for your loss Mary....Peace be with you.....kath
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Aug 09 '04
6:08 pm PDT
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... (Reply to this comment)
by brendan2
I can't even begin to imagine how painful this must have been for you. I am sure this piece will help others who have to go through the same thing, and I am glad that you have faith. You and your family are in my thoughts.
~Liz
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Aug 09 '04
6:04 pm PDT
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Hugs, (Reply to this comment)
by laryan
I'm so sorry...
hugs, prayers, and good thoughts to you and your family.
~Lisa
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Aug 09 '04
5:51 pm PDT
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Although this ... (Reply to this comment)
by Lisa_J
Although - I imagine - this was a difficult piece to write and present, I am sure that it will help many. This is well written, including the do and don't lists. I feel you have placed this epinion in a good place and agree with moving it here.
My prayers continue to be lifted for your family unit.
Sincerely,
Lisa
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Aug 09 '04
5:46 pm PDT
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Hugs, sweetie! (Reply to this comment)
by hadassahchana
I know exactly what you're going through, I had many miscarriages. Although it doesn't seem like it at the time, you really will get through all this. Your faith in God will lift you up.
Warmly,
Cindy
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Aug 09 '04
5:36 pm PDT
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