Rock 'N Roll Jesus: The Stone Cold Pimp Gives 'Cocky' A New Meaning

Kid Rock is one of my guilty pleasures; sure, I'll admit it, he's been around more than a few blocks and has a panache for strippers, weed and sex but hey, I'll do something that I rarely do - quote the bible. "Let those without sin cast the first stone". Now that we've gotten religion out of the way … let's get down to the dirt.

I got my copy before the street date broke but that came with some pretty harsh restrictions. I couldn’t make copies of it, I couldn't run around waving the jewel case in people's faces and I couldn't write a review of it or post any info about it. Well, I asked if I could write it and then publish it at midnight of the release date. Usually I'm not the kind of person that plays by every single rule but in this case, I wasn't about to burn my bridges. What does "Rock 'N Roll Jesus" hold for long time Kid Rock Fans? Well, in a lot of ways this reminds me of Type O Negative's Life Is Killing Me and Dead Again; not the music but the departure from past ventures. I have the slightly morbid feeling that the 'fans' that jumped on the bandwagon for "Devil Without A Cause" or "Cocky" are going to get this, listen to it once and sit there like a dog that just heard a strange noise outside. They'll be turning their head from side to side wondering where the hell Kid Rock is on this CD.

He's there … oh trust me, he is there but he's finally allowed his balls to drop a little and show some of the real trailer park grit that he's tried to cover up with the Ben Davis work pants and pimp sticks he's used as fashion accessories for the past six years. Whatever rock Kid Rock was hiding under served him well; "Rock 'N Roll Jesus" is a nice kick in the a$$ and change of pace when you compare it to the other 'music' [and I use that term loosely] that's hit the streets within the past six months. Even though I am a fan of Rock's, I can be objective and say that there are a few tracks that shouldn't have been added to this CD; they just weren't ready to go to press. Is that a personal faux pas? Atlantic was pushing for an earlier street date than October 9th so I guess we're lucky to have gotten something this 'complete' [for lack of a better word].

What song impressed me the most? That's a tough call. Considering that 90% of the music I listen to is in the metal / death metal / epic metal genres, this is a real departure for me. I'd been told about "Blue Jeans And A Rosary" before the CD was handed to me. I knew what it was about long before there was a final edit of it. Even knowing what it was about and being prepared for it, it still broke me down. As much as I wanted to listen to it a second, third and fourth time, I just couldn't. I'm not going to sit here and say that Rob / Bob / Kid Rock wrote the perfect white trash love song ... but honestly, it doesn't get much better than this track. Oddly enough, Elton John's signature piano passages echo through a few sections of the song - maybe that's just my take on it though.

"All her friends think she's a little crazy
She wears a smile, heart on her sleeve
Don’t give a damn what the world thinks of me
She tells me it's all good, she's happy with the bad seed
Happy to be misunderstood"

As much as I'd love to sit here and say that there's no mention of Pamela Anderson Lee Ritchie Salomon on this .. there is. All you have to do is listen to "Half Your Age" and you know - without a doubt - it's a direct slam on Pam. The song reeks of something that you'd hear at a honky tonk bar deep in the backwoods of West Virginia. Yes, I've been to some rather seedy places that make "Deliverance" seem like a family picnic so I'm not shooting blanks here or going for verbosity. Even thought I'm not normally into that kind of music, its Kid Rock so an exception has to be made. There's nothing new about the token slam song about an ex but you know what, this one is going to get a lot of play in bars when guys slink in after they've collected their personal belongings from the front yard and bid their former love ado.

"I found someone new who treats me better
She don't bi**h about things we ain't got
When I sing this tune it don’t upset her
She's half your age and twice as hot"

The title track, "Rock 'N Roll Jesus" echoes back to the good old days of southern fried rock; yeah, I know what you are thinking, Kid Rock has lost his edge so he's trying something different. Oh bite your tongue. I know that some people are going to listen to the opening track and dismiss the entire CD because of the slightly different sound; if an artist stays the same for ten years they get stale, if they take a few steps off the path then they are selling out so there's no way to win but a million ways to lose. "Been a lot of bling bling but it's not real, a lot of new kings but I won't kneel" I cringe when I think about the song "Angel"; the goose bumps and shivers aren't from the song itself but my prediction that it is going to get a lot of media play and turn into something that floats with the Nickleback track "Photograph". While it has a John Cougar feel to it, it's got the crossover potential that ensures that it will get some heavy play on the pop stations. I won't even touch on "All Summer Long" that opens with a rip on Warren Zevon's "Werewolves of London"; I won't slam it, I refuse to. I'll remember what my mum said, "If you can’t say something nice then don’t say anything". It's not a bad track but it's not my cup of hot steaming tea.

Now, "Sugar"; if you need a fix of some old Kid Rock with the slick rhymes, this is the track to check out first. This is the track that inspired the "Kiss My Anglo Saxon A$$" t-shirt that was available with the CD preorder at the Kid Rock website [www.kidrock.com]. Does it smoke? Ehh, it's a smooth track that flows nicely but you gotta love the "Cowboy" sample mid track. Things slow down a bit with "When You Love Someone" and when you hear it the first time you kinda of, sort of get this romantic image of Kid Rock in your head. Nothing that comes close to seeing the Fabio-like long haired romance novel piece of eye candy but you get my general idea here. Suffice it to say, Kid Rock is still cocky, arrogant, egotistical and hot as hell.

For those interested, these are the tracks that you will get with every CD regardless of who is selling it or what perks they are offering to get you in the door: "Rock 'N Roll Jesus", "Amen", "All Summer Long", "So Hott", "Roll On", "When You Love Someone", "Don't Tell Me You Love Me", "Blue Jeans And A Rosary", "Half Your Age", "Sugar" and "New Orleans". "Lowlife" is questionable as some people have said that it is a part of the standard release and others have said that it's a bonus track. Whatever the story, it was on my copy and is one of my favorite tracks for a multitude of reasons. Why? Because it's gritty, hits below the belt and tells it the way it is. Kid Rock didn’t grow up in a trailer park nor was he impoverished or poor; he just aspired to walk the other side of the tracks and songs like "Lowlife" reflect that.

" I got kids I never seen
And their momma's seventeen
I take strippers out to breakfast
You can add that to my checklist"

The Many Versions

This isn't the first time that an artist has released different versions of a CD [or in the old school days, vinyl]. "Rock 'N Roll Jesus", at present count, has three versions that are all being sold in different stores. Of course Wal-Mart is going to selling the edited version. They'll sell you weapons, pounds of junk food at discount prices and change your oil in 24 minutes … but they won't sell a CD with a couple swear words on it. In any event they are doing damage control by offering a special edition with a DVD of a VH-1 performance. Best Buy won’t be left out in the cold though; they are going to offer the CD with two bonus tracks of "Guilty" and "Jackson Mississippi". I was lucky to hear the bonus tracks off this and while they weren't all that bad, they weren't anything impressive either.

The best deal can be had at Target; you can get the CD for $7.99 but you are going to have to wait until it ships out and with Target, that could be a day or a week. The same thing applies to Amazon; they are offering free shipping with a $25.00 purchase but over the past two years they have dropped off my list of music providers. When I called Chad at The Exchange to see which one they would be selling he laughed, "Wait, you mean there's more than one version?" Am I going to go out and spend my hard earned freaky money on a Kid Rock CD? Come on, do you really have to ask? I will get the Wal-Mart one for the DVD unless I can buy it separately from someone on eBay. The copy I was given is locked away in a nice safe place with some of my other prized possessions.

My Bottom Line

What's my parting thoughts on this release? Well, my opinion of Robbie hasn't changed in the least. To put it bluntly and crudely.. I wouldn't kick him out of bed unless he wanted to f*ck on the floor. The 'old' Kid Rock is still there … you just have to close your eyes and listen close. I'm impressed with this release but will once again say this - there are a few tracks that are a little rough around the edges and weren't ready to go to press. Given that most stores are selling this for less than the average price of a brand new CD, I think this is going to be a great seller for Kid.

Best line? "I don't wanna be your friend, I wanna f*ck you like I'm never gonna see you again"


As always, thanks for the visit…

~^V^~ Freak ~^V^~

© 2007 Freak369





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