I Need To Call The Manager. It Sounds Like A Circus Up There.
Written: Oct 09 '07 (Updated Oct 10 '07)
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Pros: The Guests.
Cons: Guest Cards should have been heavy duty plastic instead of cardboard.
The Bottom Line: This Is The Best Board Game You've Never Heard Of.
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| shmoo1's Full Review: Full House |
A BRIEF MOMENT IN HISTORY:
The year was 1979 and I was a spotty, immortal twelve year old boy with the entire world ahead of me. There was Bad and Good aplenty, but most of it went over my head. Some didn’t.
The Bad:
- We witnessed a radioactive power plant leak off of Three Mile Island. New Yorkers would soon have a very real reason to say “Whatayou think your lookin at?!?”
- John “The Duke” Wayne died. Despite his admittance to certain “herbal weaknesses” and his helping hand with Joe McCarthy, this was still bad.
- Sid Vicious had the worst year (and last one) of his life
- Y.M.C.A became the #1 selling Album in England. No matter what you say... this was bad.
- I got my first home computer... a TRSDos 2.3. My parents thought it was “hip” and “cool” but it did nothing.
The Good-
- Crazy evangelist Jim Jones died of lead poisoning (unfortunately taking a lot of innocent people with him).
- The Sony Walkman was launched. For everyone twenty seven years old and under, a “Walkman” was a small device that would play cassette tapes with music on them. Think of an IPOD but about ten times the size. All you could play was about fifteen songs (unless you carried extra tapes in a back pack). You see kids... when I was young, the only device that could hold five thousand songs was called a "shelf” and if you wanted to pirate music you had to borrow an album from a friend and tape it.
- the Nobel Peace Prize went to a tiny little nun named Mother Theresa.
- we discover a new planet. We named it Neptune because it seemed fanciful and Pluto needed someone to play fetch with.
...and more... lots more; The Ayatollah Khomeini, The Deer Hunter, Sniff & The Tears, Pope John Paul the 2nd’s World Tour, Pete Rose, My Sherona, The Life Of Brian, but the best… simply the best moment of 1979 and the high point of my early teen age years was Parker Brothers creating and introducing the GREATEST BOARD GAME the world had ever seen.
It was called Full House.
Eight years later its name would be irreparably tarnished with the emergence of the worst TV show in history featuring Danny, Joey, Jesse, Rebecca, DJ, Michelle, Michelle, Kimmy Gibler and the over usage of the phrase “You Got It, Dude!”... Ohhh Mylanta...
“MOMBASA HILTON… PLEASE HOLD.”
Forget Monopoly. Forget Snakes and Ladders or KerPlunk or Battleship.
Forget PONG.
Full House was a game that blew these puny mortals out of the water. The entire purpose of the game was to become a hotel mogul and amass half a million dollars (again... muhuhuhahahahahahaHAHAHAHA).
It rode on some of the more popular aspects of Monopoly but eliminated any of the actual skill that it took to play and win Monopoly. 99.9% of the game was luck.
Plus... as an added bonus, you got to see the folks that were staying at your hotel.
WHATCHA MEAN ME AND BOSSIE GOTTA SHARE A TORLET?
What’s included:
- 1 Game Board.
- 4 sets of Hotel Cards (each containing a Medium, High Price and Luxury Hotel)
- 1 Die
- 1 People Popper
- 48 Guest Cards.
- 30 Telegram Cards
- Several Million Dollars in cash (see, I told you, Best Game In History. I’m writing this from the French Riviera).
- 4 Dollar sign Pawns- One Red, One Green, One Yellow and One Blue to match the 4 different hotel colors.
YES SIR, … YOU WOULD LIKE A BALE OF HAY AND A BOTTLE OF 1959 CRYSTAL? I’LL HAVE THEM BROUGHT RIGHT UP SIR.
Set Up:
- Before play begins choose a banker (sounds familiar right?) from the two to four people that can play. This person is in charge of giving all money from the bank, taking all money owed to the bank and passing out Hotel upgrades.
- Each Player chooses a colored $ pawn and corresponding Hotel from the game board. Congratulations, you own a small economy Inn.
- The Banker then hands each player $7,500.00 in cash.
- Shuffle the Guest Cards thoroughly and place them in to The People Popper which looks like an over sized trunk with various airline stickers on the side.
- Shuffle the Telegram Cards and place them in to the middle of the board.
- If less than four people are playing, use the left over Hotel Upgrade Cards to chord off the un-owned Hotel tracks
- Roll the dice. Highest roll goes first
NO SIR… I’M AFRAID YOUR HIPPO IS NOT ALLOWED TO RELIEVE HIMSELF OFF THE FIRE ESCAPE SIR!!!
The Rules:
- Before you roll, pull Three guests from The People Popper. A sliding dial lifts them out of the top of the trunk one at a time. Included on each Guest Card is a picture, what level of hotel they can stay at (note... not everyone likes to stay at an economy hotel and some folks only like Luxury), what room they need (Suite, Single, Double, Entire Floor) how long they stay and therefore how much they are paying for their room.
Rates vary; no two people pay the same amount. You will want someone who is staying for thirty days as opposed to someone who is staying for two.
If you can take a guest you have to take them. Put them in the appropriate room. If you can’t take them, if your rooms are filled or your Hotel is too “Low Quality”, you offer them to the Hotel owner “down the road” (to your left). If no one can take them, they are placed back at the bottom of The People Popper.
- Roll your die and move your Pawn. You will land on one of eight different squares. If you land on Check Out First Floor, Check Out Second Floor or Check Out All Guests, remove theses guests from your hotel and have the back pay you all money that is owed. Place guests in the bottom of The People Popper.
If you land on Telegram, pull a telegram card and do what it tells you. Sometimes you will be offered to buy an upgraded hotel at a greatly reduced rate. If you can’t use the card RIGHT NOW, then you don’t get to.
If you land on Suite, Single, Double or Floor you must pay the hotel owner his going daily rate.
- If you are stuck in a situation where you are forced to declare bankruptcy (you owe someone more than you can possibly pay) you are NOT out and the following steps are to be taken a) Give this person all your cash. b) Check out all your guests and give this person all your cash c) Downgrade your hotel until you are back to economy level and give this person all your cash. After this, the debt is wiped clean, the bank gives you another $7500 and you start again… but probably with little hope.
- Pray that you are with in one Hotel level of everyone else on the board. A Floor rate will vary from $200.00 to $1,000.00 depending on the level.
That’s all you need to do. Travel the board, accumulate dough, meet folks and keep renovating baby.
"OH NO... NOT THAT ASTOR DUMP AGAIN. LOVEE, LET'S STAY WITH THE ROCKEFELLERS"
The Hotels:
The track runs internally on the board and looks as if 2 large “L’s (one which is upside down and backwards) are touching at their bases. In the center of each of the board’s four sides is a picture of a cute little economy Inn, its name and a fair idea of where its location is globally. Each Hotel is two floors and is comprised of Four Suites, Two singles and Two Doubles. Rates for each room (or in fact a floor) are listed under the Picture of your Hotel.
Upgrading your Hotel (like everything else) costs money but more often than not pays off in the end. In fact I think it’s safe to say that it would be impossible for you to amass half a million dollars if you don’t upgrade.
The prices are:
Economy to Medium Price- $15,000.00
Medium Price to High Price- $30,000.00
High Price to Luxury- $60,000.00
If you are stuck for cash or have to down grade, you will get half of what you paid.
Once you upgrade your hotel you are given a card with a new picture. Countries always remain the same but locations inside that country may change. The Hotels, Locations and various upgrades are as follows:
America:
The Apple Pie Hotel (a quaint woodland cabin), The Pines Resort, (a quaint lakeside woodland retreat), Savannah Lodge (a sprawling southern manor) and the NYC monolith Astor Plaza
England:
The Pig n Penny (a nice little thatched cottage), Bristol Court, Windsor Mansion and Hampton Castle.
Japan:
The Willow Nook, The Inn Of The Dragon, Taiko Manor and the state of the art city slab Emperor’s Palace.
Spain:
Carlos Cabana, Casa Del Oro, The Riviera Club and Villa Florentine.
My favorite two Countries to play are England and Spain. Both America and Japan have built cold looming skyscrapers for their Luxury Hotels and I think they have lost all their charm.
"COULD YOU ASK THE ARMY TO REMOVE THEIR JACK-BOOTS. THE REPAIR BILLS ARE MURDER"
The Telegrams:
Like Chance or Community Chest, it could be good news or bad news indifferently. Here are some examples:
EXTEND STAY: Second Floor Guests Pay But Still Stay On.
REPAINTING: Economy- $2000.00, Medium Price- $5000.00, High Price- $10,000.00, Luxury- $25,000.00. Pay Immediately
AWARD: Better Hotels And Garden Award- $5000.00
The Telegram cards also contain increased rates, Free trips to anywhere on the board, thieves that steal one quarter of everything you have and discount prices for upgrading hotels.
Use them now, or loose them forever.
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN 'MY KIND' ISN'T WELCOME HERE?!?"
The Guests:
Probably my favorite part of the game is seeing who is going to be staying at the hotel. Loyalty is meaningless and clients who were with you in the last rotation may be staying at a different hotel next time. Trash Talking was huge. “So and So didn’t want to go back to your Hotel because of the roaches” or “It was the Food Poisoning” are two of my favorites. Also fun is how snooty you become the higher on the food chain your hotel goes. Guests that you were ecstatic to have in the first few rounds are now met with a skeptic eye and an “Oh no... not them again.”
Likewise, customers who were too good to stay at your nice little economy hotel and were probably met with some verbal abuse are now exciting to add to your guest list.
Here are the folks you can expect you see and what they like
Single- ♫ “Alone again, naturally” ♫ :
A Mad Scientist and his Nuclear Warhead
A Writer that looks suspiciously like Bill Cosby
A Hobo
A slick talkin’ Salesman
A bug eyed Alien (with Ray Gun)
A Juggler
A wacky Old Dude with a huge moustache and propeller beanie
My spinster Aunt Agatha
An Indian Chief
An ax wielding Viking
Double- The love that dares not speak its name:
A happy, happy Cowboy and his happy, happy Horse
A very, very, very large red headed woman
A couple of Sailors (…ummm... The Shmoo may have to re-think his Halloween costume.)
A Sheriff and his Prisoner
A Farm boy and his Cow (we is jist friends)
An aging hippie Chick and her pet Frog
Santa and Rudolph
A short sighted Lion Tamer and his Lion
The Tortoise and The Hare (…I always suspected those two…)
A Giraffe
A Violinist and his Conductor
A Canadian Fisherman in his slick hat and a very happy Fish
A Woman and her Boa Constrictor
Suite- “Well doesn’t the sun just rise and set on your...”:
A Scar-faced Mob Boss
A Fire and Brimstone Preacher (wait…aren’t suites expensive?)
A Basketball Player (looks like Kobe with a bigger fro)
A 1920’s Ziegfeld Girl
An... Abundant... Starlet
A Fat Cat Business Man with Cigar
The Owl And The Pussycat (How did they get more coin than the Tortoise and Hare?)
A Two Star General
A Political Pig
Count Chocula- Yes... I’m sure it’s Count Chocula
A Rock Band (ohhhhh nooooo, more repair bills)
A Bank Robber with his sack o’ cash
Frankenstein’s Monster
A big time Hollywood Actor (looks like Don Johnson circa 1980)
Snidely Whiplash and his tied up prey
A Pelican with all her babies
A GIANT Sumo Wrestler
Floor- “We Do NOT Wish To Be Disturbed.”
A Football Team
King Kong
A Hippopotamus
An Arabian Sheik and his Harem
The entire Russian Army
The Queen Of England. Could be Norway but I think England
An Elephant
A Tiger.
THANK YOU FOR STAYING SIR, PLEASE COME BACK SOON.
One Last Thought:
I will make no money on this one. The game is almost impossible to find. I think there are a few copies on e-bay and If you get the chance to pick it up, go for it. You would think that a “roll your dice and move around the board” game would pale after a few years but it hasn’t. I smile at the cartoons of the guests, it’s still exciting to find out who you will draw and still exciting every time you upgrade your hotel.
Likewise it’s still crushing when you have to downgrade your hotel.
The one slight, slight flaw with this is the People Popper. Forget for a moment that I stepped on it and had to glue it; after a while, if you are not careful, the edges of the Guest cards will become frayed and worn down and won’t pop out of the Popper anymore.
But it’s OK, now I just put the guests on top of the trunk instead of in it.
Everything about this game (including the heavy nicotine smell) reminds me of the best parts of my last few years of innocence. It will be treasured and kept for as long as possible. I have dutifully taped the corners and will make a brand new box one day if needed.
A truly fun game that everyone would like to play.
Recommended:
Yes
Amount Paid (US$): 19.99 cnd
Type of Toy: Board Game
Age Range of Child: 9 Years or Older
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Epinions.com ID:
shmoo1
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Location: Milton On. Canada
Reviews written: 103
Trusted by: 66 members
About Me:Vote Kingfish/ Shmoo in 2012 'Cuz A Shmoo In The Hand...
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