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College 101: Have Sex on Your Own Bed!!!Aug 19 '04 Write an essay on this topic.The Bottom Line My college experiences for your reading pleasure. Yes, I know that I already wrote an essay on this topic, entitled College 101: How to Be a Good Roommate, back in May of '00 and updated in April o f'04. However, I just read Brandi_Jean's essay, Roommates 101: The Compulsive Masturbator, and simply had to write about my own college roommate experiences. After all, I had 8 college roommates while at The George Washington University and 1 while attending University of Alaska - Anchorage. This isn't in the normal College 101 format that I use, either. It's more of a personal experience essay for your enjoyment. College was the best experience of my life. Recently, my freshman roommate got back in touch with me. I haven't seen her since graduation (if not before then), but it was so great hearing from her. I'm thrilled that we're back in touch. It's only appropriate that I decided to write an article about college roommates now. NOTE: This essay is going to be filled with bad experiences. To protect the roommates, I'll change the names of the bad experiences. Freshman year, I moved in before Suzanne got there. I was going on a trip called Project Exploration, where I would be able to meet and (theoretically) bond with other GW freshmen. On this fated trip, however, I displaced my kneecap while white-water rafting. I ended up in an immobilizer for 6 weeks. I'll never forget the day that I met Suzanne. Omar and Jason were my crutches as I hobbled to Adams Hall, and a girl walked by us. We both stopped and faced each other. She looked at me and asked, "Candy?" as I asked "Suzanne?" at the same time. I can't imagine what she was thinking-- I must have looked drunk, leaning on two handsome men as they carried me towards my dorm. Needless to say, she knew that she was in for a wild ride. Suzanne was the greatest, especially during the time that I was injured. She helped me with EVERYTHING. I don't know how I would have gotten through the first 6 weeks of school without her and our neighbors, Omar and Tryg. We did everything together: shopped, studied, ate, walked, we even joined an improv troupe. I am so glad that I had a friend for a roommate my freshman year. It made things a lot easier. That wasn't the same sophomore year. I ended up with a trendy, snobby, rich flake from Connecticut that lived in Adams on one of the upper floors. Her best friend was the ex of a guy I dated freshman year, who held their breakup against me. This girl and my roommate were PSYCHOTIC. My roommate allowed her to mes with my stuff. The two of them teamed up and left an outgoing message on MY answering machine that sounded something like an MTV shout out. Say the following out loud really fast, and you'll get an idea of what the message sounded like: WOO! Whassup peoples? We wanna give a shout out to our peeps! Sup Frankie G? Woo-woo in the boom-boom1 L'il Miss Money Bags, WOO! You owe me a drink! Shout out to Kevin, Chris, DeeDee, Alana, Rita - MARGARITAS!! Chillin' with the Henry's Posse upstairs with a martini! Peace out, yo! BEEP. To make matters more embarassing, I walked in my sleep one night. I'm still completely mortified about it. Sarah came home REALLY late one night and woke me up. Only, I didn't actually wake up. I was semi-conscious, in the middle of some dream. Apparently, I sat up in bed and waved to her. She told me that she waved back. Apparently, I didn't stop waving. I got out of bed and stood next to my desk and continued waving. Again, she waved back. Apparently, in my dream-state, this motivated me to go up to her. I woke up right in front of her, waving at her like an idiot. She looked horrified. I wanted to die. I sheepishly apologized (what the heck else was I supposed to do?) and crawled back in bed. I still blush when I think about this incident. Sarah blatantly didn't like me. I never did anything to her. She talked about me right in front of my face to her friends. She'd badmouth me on the telephone while I was in the room. When I spoke with my RA about getting a room change, she went PSYCHO. She told me that I should have gone to her if I had a problem. She made it seem like I totally stabbed her in the back by moving out. Granted, I didn't talk with her first-- but that's because she didn't want anything to do with me. I probably should have told her that I was going to move out, but I didn't want to deal with her. By the way, while I was moving my belongings to my new dorm, my RA stopped by and told me that Sarah had also asked to move out. Talk about the pot calling the kettle black!!! My new roommate was fabulous. Utterly fabulous. We ended up working on a show that I wrote together and had a GREAT time. She was 2 years older than me and graduated before I did. Unfortunately, we lost touch. We had a lot in common and had a sincere respect for one another. We got along immediately, and she went out of her way to make sure I was comfortable in my new home. It was a great relationship that I never had again with another roommate. I dated a LOT in college. Mind you, I didn't sleep with any of my college boyfriends. As a matter of fact, one such boyfriend broke up with me because I didn't put out. I was heartbroken when we broke up. My roommate, though, felt she needed to console one of us-- and chose to console him. That night, she went to his dorm and hung out with him and his roommates. I called over there (like an idiot) and she answered the phone. We had words, and I threatened her life. She came back to the dorm and I threw something at her-- Which happened to be a photo of me and the ex. (Ask Dionne. She witnessed the whole thing and prevented me from killing said roommate.) But, the roommate and I worked through it. She apologized and admitted she was wrong. That was good enough for me. Another roommate experience consisted of 2 girls. One I befriended during a university production and the other I had known since freshman year. Jill was a senior, and agreed to room with me and Rona. One day, one of our neighbors decided to dump some trash in front of our door. (He was an immature jock that wanted attention.) I was shopping, and came home hours later. As I walked down the hallway, there was this horrid odor at my end of the hallway. Neither Jill nor Rona cleaned up the mess. They both left it for me to clean. So, I cleaned it, then we all had a "roommate conference." Rona was crying, as Jill pressured her into saying that she wanted me to move out-- And it was the second week of school!!! I went right to Alex, out RA and told him what was going on. Jill and Rona showed up at the door... You should have seen the surprise on their faces when they saw me in Alex's room! Rona, who only knew Jill through me, spilled the beans about Jill being angry because the immature jerk had a crush on me, and she was interested in him. Jill ended up moving out into her own place in Mitchell Hall. Rona and I had a huge room to ourselves. Rona and I would fend off all potential roommates by making up bizarre sex stories, killing insects that we didn't see, asking our neighbors to act completely rude and insane to scare them away, Rona talking solely in Japanese... You name it, we did it. We didn't get a roommate for the rest of the semester. Until one was placed in our room during winter break. I wanted to scream when I came back to campus and found a new roommate had moved in. A smoker. A druggie. A thief. Terrific. During that semester, more of my jewelry went missing that I can ever recover. My pearls, my engagement ring, a lot. When I confronted her about it, she simply said, "I needed money. What are you going to do about it?" I came home once and found her having sex with some skanky man in my bed. MY bed!!!!! What the heck was wrong with HER bed???? SHE DIDN'T WANT TO MAKE IT, THAT'S WHAT WAS WRONG!!! She smoked in the room. She hid drugs in our desks. And no one did anything to stop her. Since Rona and I had been so horrible about interviewing new roommates, they thought that we were making things up about this new chick to get her kicked out of the room!!! Senior year, I had 2 roommates in the same dorm again. This was the easiest roommate year I had. No stress. No moving around. No injuries. Just two roommates that I had a lot in common with. One was a volleyball player from Turkey who stayed in her bed maybe once during the entire year. The other one was a quiet girl from Florida who directed a show that I wrote. Life with roommates is how you make it. Communication is always, always the key. If you're not happy, let them know-- DIPLOMATICALLY. (Obviously, throwing things doesn't help.) Have respect for your roommates. Even though they might not exactly seem like it, they are people, too. Remember how your mom used to tell you "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you?" That applies more than you can ever imagine with roommates.  |
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