Get The Spit Turning—We’re Roasting The Doc!Aug 24 '04 Write an essay on this topic.The Bottom Line Would you like fries with that? It’s picnic time, y’all! Here’s my contribution to help kick off Savanna’s upcoming One Year Anniversary at Epinions. Rather than wallow in her own back-patting for sticking it out here for the last 12 months, Savanna decided to hold a big feast — the main course being Roast Doc. Now before you start goin’ ‘round salivating, I thought it only fair to tell you what I know about Doc. This is not a dish you’d want to eat — in fact, you may get quite ill. Roasted, grilled, or ground into hamburger, she’s poisonous! I’ll be at the Doc Roast, all right, but only to celebrate Savanna’s anniversary. And I’m bringing my own Chinese take-out. Let’s get it on! There lives a strange woman named Lori Who sometimes is known as Daktari Now feminine she’s not She will beat the snot Out of you, should you doubt her authority. “Who wears the kilts around here?” Screams Lori, while guzzling a beer. She says she don’t drink But she lies, methinks And she keeps all her fellas in fear. I’ve met her in person, you see Even been to her house in the trees There’s something just eerie And makes me so leery But why am I so ill at ease? She’s scary but not really bitchy But honestly, I think she’s witchy Her legs are all bandy Her cauldron is handy Her voice rather squeaky and pitchy. She has a black cape and black hat A broom parked on her Welcome mat She stares at night skies Evil gleam in her eyes Boils lizards and toads in her vat. You guys wearing kilts better run You think that her peeking’s in fun But she’ll grab what you’ve got Put it in her black pot Serve it up as “beef” stew when it’s done. The Doc really keeps my nerves jangled Her fingers and toes are so mangled She’s spooky, I say My advice: Stay away! She’s got a “thang” for what once dangled. Kidding aside, I have to admit something. When Savanna approached me about Doc Roasting, my first thought was “Woo hoo! I’ma gonna have me some fun now!” But within minutes, I found it difficult to think of anything other than kudos for the gal. About a year ago, I almost wrote a tribute to Lori, who has become quite dear to me. In addition to everything we already know about her — her wonderful sense of humor, her genuine caring of others, her extraordinary inner strength — I wanted to share a personal story of what a truly special person she is. I have a daughter just a few years younger than Lori’s daughter, Azurely. After my first husband I and divorced, my daughter chose to live with her father in what had been “our house” rather than move with me into an apartment. Things went along fine until shortly after her 18th birthday, when her father announced he was moving in with his girlfriend — and daughter was “not invited” to live with them. By that time, I had already moved in with my then future husband, “Mr. Happy,” about 80 miles away from my daughter. My ex insisted she come live with us. Although our door was always open, daughter wanted no part of that. Not because she doesn’t love us, but because she didn’t want to leave her circle of friends or her job. Completely understandable. The minuscule time frame her father gave us sent daughter and me into panic mode. How on earth was I to find her a safe place to live in less than 2 months? After all, she was barely 18 and had never lived away from home. We have a number of immediate family members living in Richmond, where Lori also resided at the time. Both my ex’s and my family knew of the predicament. Not one of them offered to take her in until we could make other arrangements. Talk about anguished! I didn’t know what to do. My daughter is a good kid — it’s not like any of them would have been taking in a troubled teen or anything. At this time, I’d met Lori only once. When she heard what a pickle we were in, she immediately stepped up to the plate: Lori offered my daughter a room in her home. As it turned out, we were able to find daughter a roommate at the last minute, but I will never forget Lori’s generosity and willingness to help out a kid in need. How do you thank someone enough for that? It’s impossible. DocTard, you’re a terrific lady, and I wish you all the best in the future. No matter what path life takes you, it’s got to be good. You deserve it. I love ya, gal. And Savanna, here’s to your First Year Anniversary! Not only did you come up with a great idea to celebrate, you came up with a fun one, too. :o) Thanks for the invite! Wanna join the Roast? Or simply read the other contributions? The fun starts here at Savanna’s review.  |
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