Get The Spit Turning—We’re Roasting The Doc!
Aug 24 '04
The Bottom Line Would you like fries with that?
It’s picnic time, y’all! Here’s my contribution to help kick off Savanna’s upcoming One Year Anniversary at Epinions. Rather than wallow in her own back-patting for sticking it out here for the last 12 months, Savanna decided to hold a big feast — the main course being Roast Doc. Now before you start goin’ ‘round salivating, I thought it only fair to tell you what I know about Doc. This is not a dish you’d want to eat — in fact, you may get quite ill. Roasted, grilled, or ground into hamburger, she’s poisonous!
I’ll be at the Doc Roast, all right, but only to celebrate Savanna’s anniversary. And I’m bringing my own Chinese take-out.
Let’s get it on!
There lives a strange woman named Lori
Who sometimes is known as Daktari
Now feminine she’s not
She will beat the snot
Out of you, should you doubt her authority.
“Who wears the kilts around here?”
Screams Lori, while guzzling a beer.
She says she don’t drink
But she lies, methinks
And she keeps all her fellas in fear.
I’ve met her in person, you see
Even been to her house in the trees
There’s something just eerie
And makes me so leery
But why am I so ill at ease?
She’s scary but not really bitchy
But honestly, I think she’s witchy
Her legs are all bandy
Her cauldron is handy
Her voice rather squeaky and pitchy.
She has a black cape and black hat
A broom parked on her Welcome mat
She stares at night skies
Evil gleam in her eyes
Boils lizards and toads in her vat.
You guys wearing kilts better run
You think that her peeking’s in fun
But she’ll grab what you’ve got
Put it in her black pot
Serve it up as “beef” stew when it’s done.
The Doc really keeps my nerves jangled
Her fingers and toes are so mangled
She’s spooky, I say
My advice: Stay away!
She’s got a “thang” for what once dangled.
Kidding aside, I have to admit something. When Savanna approached me about Doc Roasting, my first thought was “Woo hoo! I’ma gonna have me some fun now!” But within minutes, I found it difficult to think of anything other than kudos for the gal.
About a year ago, I almost wrote a tribute to Lori, who has become quite dear to me. In addition to everything we already know about her — her wonderful sense of humor, her genuine caring of others, her extraordinary inner strength — I wanted to share a personal story of what a truly special person she is.
I have a daughter just a few years younger than Lori’s daughter, Azurely. After my first husband I and divorced, my daughter chose to live with her father in what had been “our house” rather than move with me into an apartment. Things went along fine until shortly after her 18th birthday, when her father announced he was moving in with his girlfriend — and daughter was “not invited” to live with them. By that time, I had already moved in with my then future husband, “Mr. Happy,” about 80 miles away from my daughter.
My ex insisted she come live with us. Although our door was always open, daughter wanted no part of that. Not because she doesn’t love us, but because she didn’t want to leave her circle of friends or her job. Completely understandable. The minuscule time frame her father gave us sent daughter and me into panic mode. How on earth was I to find her a safe place to live in less than 2 months? After all, she was barely 18 and had never lived away from home.
We have a number of immediate family members living in Richmond, where Lori also resided at the time. Both my ex’s and my family knew of the predicament. Not one of them offered to take her in until we could make other arrangements. Talk about anguished! I didn’t know what to do. My daughter is a good kid — it’s not like any of them would have been taking in a troubled teen or anything.
At this time, I’d met Lori only once. When she heard what a pickle we were in, she immediately stepped up to the plate: Lori offered my daughter a room in her home.
As it turned out, we were able to find daughter a roommate at the last minute, but I will never forget Lori’s generosity and willingness to help out a kid in need. How do you thank someone enough for that? It’s impossible.
DocTard, you’re a terrific lady, and I wish you all the best in the future. No matter what path life takes you, it’s got to be good. You deserve it. I love ya, gal.
And Savanna, here’s to your First Year Anniversary! Not only did you come up with a great idea to celebrate, you came up with a fun one, too. :o) Thanks for the invite!
Wanna join the Roast? Or simply read the other contributions? The fun starts here at Savanna’s review.
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Epinions.com ID:
katybrighteyes
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Member: Katy
Location: Virginia
Reviews written: 13
Trusted by: 148 members
About Me:
Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see. ~MarkTwain
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