My Porn is Now in the Garbage !!Aug 27 '04 (Updated Aug 29 '04) Write an essay on this topic.
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The Bottom Line My Porn is Now in the Garbage !!
This is not the subject that I wanted to write about on my first article in almost 6-months. Consider this more of a public service announcement. This is the subject that a certain portion of people that don’t know who I am and the vast majority of people that do know me around Epinions will stop in the middle of reading this and dismiss this entire thing as the crazy writings of a goofy, perverted old man. People will ask the obvious question about my age and the fact that I’m over 70 yrs young. Do people that age think about such things like this? How could this crazy old fool even understand anymore? Well to answer your question old farts like me never stop thinking about sex, we just start dreaming about our desires in a much different way. For example – most men over the age of 60 stop fantasying about traditional forms of love making, they start dreaming about more convenient and less stressful forms of intercourse. We don’t want to be in a position where our cellulite buttocks are seen by a younger lady, or in a situation were the Viagra fails and it’s a complete wreck of an embarrassment. My desires this past decade have come in the form of a chance encounter with a gorgeous middle aged prostitute. Her only goal is to make me happy and afterward accepts a very small wage to help her purchase more sexy lingerie and perfume so she could continue to satisfy my every manly desire. The actual sex part is always me accepting oral pleasures and her drifting off in the night far away from my everyday life. In my dreams she does a lot of talking but I never remember or even understand what she’s trying to say, I just know that it all has to do with how large and great I am. So after reading through this nightmare of a situation that is my life, you will understand why I needed to write this and why this is such a tragic moment and most likely the end to my sex life that consists of only hopes, dreams and fantasies. This short story is a true one. It is has been so damaging to my psyche that I threw away my collection of pornographic movies, even the ones with the Latina Sluts. This is an earth shattering moment that will change the thought patterns of every man that reads this.. women, I suggest that you make your husbands read this and they will never look for strange again. Public Service Announcement: I live in a lower middle class neighborhood that is relatively safe and comfortable. I’m one of the few white people around. I see drug deals and prostitution on a daily basis. I have recently come to terms with the neighborhood in fact I now embrace it. I know all of the people that make up the neighborhood – from my stinky Indian friend that makes me my coffee every afternoon to the obnoxious white racist cops that constantly want to talk to me or ask why I’m living in a neighborhood that is getting darker by the minute. How they can't stand this type of person or that type of person.. how they want to catch all the "coon-rabbits" and lock them away before they have a chance to do harm to their loved ones - these are the type of things these guys share with me... they don't understand that the Very Sexy Mr. Stockholder does not have a racist bone in his body - not even the one that requires Viagra. Most of my fantasies revolved around the prostitution business that is rather robust on my neighboring street corners. Notice I said revolved. Last week it was told to me by the three police officers that I know that three different men at three very different times checked themselves into Cook County Hospital – (the free hospital where people go when they have no insurance and don’t mind waiting in a long line while minutes away from death) all three men were bleeding profusely from their penises, two were claiming to have been bit by an animal. One guy said he was bit by his dog the other said he was attacked on the street by a dog. One guy said his wife bit him while she was in a sleepwalking state. But let the truth be told it’s a penis gobbling prostitute that is causing all of this pain and suffering, this pain is not only to the men that had their penises half mauled off of their bodies but also pain to the Stockholders of the world that enjoy some brown sugar poontang. That enjoys the thought of some $20 oral. The worst part about these incidents is the fact that all three of the guys that had their penises half bitten off were all married – none wanted to give a description of this penis hungry villain, even when confronted in private by the police officers. These guys were petrified at the City’s policy of putting the names and photos of convicted John’s in the newspaper. These guys did not want anything to do with going to court and all of the messy procedures that follow, including confessing to the wives and the possible story hitting my morning newspaper. Even if this trouser snake hunter were caught and put away for life with the key thrown away, it would not and could not erase the horrible visions of this tragic behavior. Just last night I was in a fast food restaurant when I caught a glimpse of a lady scarfing down an Italian Sausage sandwich and my heart dropped to the floor, I nearly screamed. The cops that I know said that they have narrowed it down pretty well just by looking at the arrest history and psychiatric history of my fine neighborhoods prostitutes. But without one brave penisless man stepping forward this person is still on the loose confronting their inner demons one bite at a time. This also leaves me at the end of my history as one of the oldest and sexiest Johns. So men stay away from these hookers - Women let your husbands know if they come home with their penis in their jacket pocket that it's divorce time - you heard it here first. - stockholder You're welcome. p.s Please read my crappy product reviews.. I have $6.95 in my Epinions account, I would love to get it to $10 so I can buy a box of pizza puffs.  |
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