It's not the glint in yer eye, it's the tilt in yer kilt...Aug 30 '04 Write an essay on this topic.
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The Bottom Line The bottom line does not wear underwear beneath his kilt...
When I signed up for this roast, I promised Savanna (in a way) to not turn this into a suck-up love-fest. I also promised I’d get this done a little sooner than I did, but at least I’m not late. . . You know, you gotta love Doc. This is a woman who has obviously decided to fully grab life by the balls and just enjoy it. Did I just say balls? Yes. Yes, I did. That’s clean enough, right? Anyway. . . she’s not the domestic diva one of us has rutted ourselves in a groove as. You know. . . getting all excited whenever a new toilet brush or air freshener comes out. Yeah, I’m talking about myself. From all those restaurant reviews, you can see she doesn’t cook every night. I’m not sure if its because she just likes going out to eat, or if the family of forcing her to give them a break. Personally, I think it’s because she can’t sit still long enough to boil water. She travels almost as much as another beloved member I didn’t get permission to mention. Phil, you know who I’m talking about. If there’s a castle, Doc’s going to find it. Then she’s going to review it. Then I get to sit there and read it, chartreuse with envy and living vicariously. She’s a true Renaissance woman, and has the outfits to prove it. When she is sitting still, she can be found pasty-faced and drooling as she watches some of the most obscure and cheesy movies known to man. She also reviews the fare she watches, and rumor has it that Roger Ebert may be considering replacing Roper with her. OK, I’m finding it difficult to give Doc a hard time. She’s never managed to cheese me off, so I can’t bring myself to insult her. I suppose I have to be inspired for meanness. One must have respect (maybe even a little fear) for any woman who’s not afraid to animate her a$$ and put on her profile page. For a long time she was on this kitty-kick. There were all really cute and funny, but the jumping Jesus just cracks me up. Perhaps the one thing Doc is most known for is the love of a sexy man in a kilt. I honestly believe DrDevience may have been the inspiration for The Scotsman. In case you live in a bubble of complete and utter mundanity (yes, it is a word), I’ll give you the bonus of lyrics: The Scotsman Words and Music by Mike Cross Well a Scotsman clad in kilt left a bar on evening fair And one could tell by how we walked that he drunk more than his share He fumbled round until he could no longer keep his feet Then he stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh He stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street About that time two young and lovely girls just happend by And one says to the other with a twinkle in her eye See yon sleeping Scotsman so strong and handsome built I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath the kilt Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath the kilt They crept up on that sleeping Scotsman quiet as could be Lifted up his kilt about an inch so they could see And there behold, for them to see, beneath his Scottish skirt Was nothing more than God had graced him with upon his birth Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh Was nothing more than God had graced him with upon his birth They marveled for a moment, then one said we must be gone Let's leave a present for our friend, before we move along As a gift they left a blue silk ribbon, tied into a bow Around the bonnie star, the Scots kilt did lift and show Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh Around the bonnie star, the Scots kilt did lift and show Now the Scotsman woke to nature's call and stumbled towards a tree Behind a bush, he lift his kilt and gawks at what he sees And in a startled voice he says to what's before his eyes. O lad I don't know where you been but I see you won first prize Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh O lad I don't know where you been but I see you won first prize If you’ve never heard it, I have a link to it on my profile page. OK, the sucking up part I kinda-sorta promised not to do a whole lot of. . . Doc, we worship you. Or fear you. Seems a little interchangeable these days, doesn’t it? Congrats to Savanna (iluvbirds) on her 1 year anniversary. Hon, if you made it this far without running and screaming, you’ve got it made. Donna  |
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