Unbiased Reviews by Real People
|
|
Unbiased Reviews by Real People
Why don't you smell a rat? (Annoying W/O)Sep 29, 2004 Write an essay on this topic.
Popular Products in Books
The Bottom Line is trying to breakdance like a Boohbah but is failing miserably.
People are kind of annoying sometimes. Like, why don’t they wear cheeseboxes on their heads? Why do they act like you’re insane when you suggest they do? Why is it that people think you’re crazy just because you have an undying love for hickory smoked bacon? Is it so wrong to enjoy some big pimpin every once in awhile? And why don't you smell a rat? Perhaps we should save these questions for another time. Moving onward… here’s my entry into the Annoying Questions W/O!! 1) What is your full name, including middle and maiden names (if applicable)? Mrs. Camui M.S. Gackt Ogawa Tetsuya Takarai Hideto 2) Your Social Security number? 46466669 3) Credit Card number including expiration date? 6666666666666666666666666666 6/6/66 4) Sex? If so, how often? Can we smother vanilla on each other? That's all that really matters. 5) Who is the most annoying member here at Epinions? Yo mama masquerading as a human 6) If you could give everyone at Epinions one piece of advice, what would it be? Fear the boneless chicken. 7) If there were a button in the opinion ratings that said “helpful, but unreadable; please check for errors and resubmit”, would you use it? If I was being threatened by an angry Mr. Ed clone 8) If you could invent your own such button, what would it say? “Buy a Gackt CD instead of this” 9) What is your most disgusting habit? Purchasing experimental glowing hickory smoked bacon through the black market; more specifically, from rabid rabbits, and eating it with cheesecake 10) One day you encounter a magical sprite (a faerie, not the soft drink, you son of a silly person!) who offers to let you see yourself as other people see you for just one day. Would you take him up on his offer? I would just do a brain suck on him and make him feel like he has been sat on by a walrus 11) What is the central struggle at the heart of the novel The Turn of the Screw by Henry James? Discuss. How exactly does one go about turning the screw? Do you use a screwdriver, or is that too fancy? Should one try to use their bare hands? Or would that cause damage? Why exactly does this screw need to be turned? Why can’t we all just screw and get along? 12) Quien es mas macho? Lorenzo Lamas o Ricardo Montalban??? Tu es muy feo. 13) If you could go back in time, what era would you visit and why? The era of dinosaurs, to see if Tyrannosaurasex really existed 14) (ok, think Eighties here:) The news comes in that Nuclear Annhilation is at hand. You’ve got one minute to get to your backyard fallout shelter. What three things do you grab on the way? Some possible choices: -as much food as you can carry -as much water as you can carry -condoms -a gas mask -a transistor radio -your favorite pillow -your cellular phone and laptop -a good book -some clean underwear -any others??? My hickory smoked bacon poster, my used uzi, and a cotton ball (hey, you never know when it might come in handy). 15) When making salad dressing with Oil, Vinegar, Water and Spices, in what order do they settle (from top to bottom)? No Cheating!!! Don't drink the water, there's blood in the water!! 16) True or false: some words can be made plural by adding an apostrophe and s. Du hast mich? 17) Yellow and Blue make green, but what do Yellow, Cyan and Magenta make??? An awesome acid trip 18) Speaking of colors, they may come close, but according to some experts, you won’t see this color flower in nature. What is it? Nacho 19) How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Enough to shove up yo arse 20) You are interviewing for the job of a lifetime in New York City. The room where you are being interviewed is in the center of the office and is not enclosed, allowing little privacy. When your interviewer steps away for a few moments, you notice more than just a few people “casually” walk past the table where you are seated, their eyes glued on something underneath the table. As they do this, they comment to each other under their breath, even with an occasional snicker. You check your fly, but can’t find anything amiss. When your interviewer returns, you can’t help mentioning this odd parade. He replies unflinchingly that they were doing “shoe check” to see if you had “ the right kind of shoes.” How do you react? a) laugh nervously and gibe that you “hope you passed.” b) walk out in disgust at such childish behavior c) proudly look at your Italian leather shoes and think to yourself, “I was born to work here.” d) leave a stink bomb in their bathroom before departing e) other—please elaborate: Let's just say... there was a cake. And there was poison in it. 21) Who is the bigger blowhard, Michael Moore or Rush Limbaugh? Hos don’t think blowing is hard. 22) You return home from vacation to find your home broken into. The first thought that crosses your mind is, “I hope they didn’t get…” what? My experimental weed mixed with nacho cheese 23) You are in a car accident and the car stereo turns itself to some strange radio station. You are pinned and cannot turn it off, nor change the station. The hours pass as you wait to be rescued…what would you pray you wouldn’t be stuck listening to? Jamaican guys attempting a mix between reggae, country, and metal 24) Find the error in the following sentences: Whose kangaroo is it who’s pounding Sylvester? I like to poke moldy cheese. It’s time to go and see Mildred’s famous pony with its colorful wagon full of apples, plums and bananas. Mildred's famous pony is really a vampiric, eons old horse. There are some people standing over there by their car. The car is made out of cardboard. You’re sure that those are your pants? I don't wear pants. 25) Train A carrying nuclear waste from a power plant to the Nevada desert leaves Station B at 3 AM, traveling at 180 km/hr. Assuming that the distance it must travel is 1600 miles, how long will it take for: a) a crowd of protesters to lie down on the tracks, tempting fate to prevent it from arriving at its destination? b) a group of terrorists to either steal it or blow it up near a metropolitan area? c) certain politicians, blamed for allowing it, to be voted out of office? Please show all calculations. If you add nacho cheese to the nuclear waste, you can pass it off as a delicacy. If you add a sprig of parsley to the nuclear waste, you can pretend that's why it's glowing green. If you add both the nacho cheese and the sprig of parsley, you will have yourself mindwarped, nacho cheese/parsley loving zombies who will follow your every command, as long as you dress up as a piece of hickory smoked bacon. 26) Speaking of blame, whose fault is the war in Iraq? a) Saddam Hussein b) Osama bin Laden c) Bush & Blair d) Mine e) God’s f) Other: Yo mama discuss. It exists. 27) On a transcontinental flight, you find yourself seated next to a “chatty Cathy”. You’re very tired, but he/she just isn’t getting the message. You speak to the stewardess to see if you can change seats. She tells you that the only other seats available are: a) next to a screaming baby; b) next to a passenger whose girth makes it impossible to sit in just one seat; c) right in the very middle seat, surrounded by a group of people whose religion prohibits bathing; d) with a group of 8th graders on their first class trip. What do you do? Scream "a crew sees cring knees!!!" and dance around in a cage surrounded by people in pointy white hats. 28) Can you identify the following quote: “You fell victim to one of the classic blunders! The first is never get involved in a land war in Asia, but the second, and only slightly less well known, is this: Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line!” (for extra credit, give us another…) Yes, I recognize the quote, but my personal favorite quote is "Naaaaaaacho cheeeeeeeeese. Giiiiiiiive yourself to the cheeeeeeeeese. Immerrrrrrrrrrse yourself in the cheese. Become onnnnnnnnne with the cheese," which I try my best to follow. 29)True or False: If I weren’t a total Epinions junkie, I wouldn’t have made it this far, much less even dream of answering such annoying questions. I am a junkie in more ways than one. You ain't gettin nothin else outta me. I leave you with these words: He choked on a fishbone. The bad fish is disgusting.  |
| Read all comments (19)|Write your own comment |
