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Snips & Snails and Split-Sole Ballet Shoes, Sugar & Spice & a Red Sox JerseyOct 23 '04 Write an essay on this topic.The Bottom Line I think that children deserve to have every opportunity to pursue their own happiness, regardless of gender. There are some days when I look back on all my parenting plans that I had before I actually had my first child and I laugh myself silly. Even reading my old reviews is amusing to me; my daughter started out watching no television, only pre-screened videotapes. I still monitor what she watches and limit the amount, but her youngest brother was practically singing the theme song to Kim Possible in utero. I remember fighting with my mother over the gifts we added to my daughter's wishlist for her second Christmas and birthday: Thomas Trains, a play tool set, and a ball and glove. She wore dresses a lot, but I was determined that my children would grow up as gender-neutral as I could make them without returning every stitch of clothes their relatives got for them. My daughter, my oldest, has shocked my mother with her Atlanta Braves baseball gear, her high-top Converse sneakers, and her love of Nomar Garciaparra. My mother was convinced that I was going to have the next Pippi Longstocking on my hands. However, as the years have gone on and we have added two boys to our household, my daughter has found a fine balance between girly-girl and tomboy. She has her beloved Boston Red Sox, but a fine wardrobe of Disney Princess costumes. She still puts on her toolbelt and goggles, but it's just as likely to be worn with a tiara as without. Her potty-training prize? Coveted ballet classes. I think it's important to give children every opportunity to be themselves; to select activites and toys as they find them interesting, rather than subscribing to what they "should" have based on their gender. My daughter's Christmas wish list includes a toy ballet studio as well as a Red Sox jersey. The same goes for the boys. My older son is just as likely to put on his sister's dress-up jewelry as play with trains, to play with their shared kitchen as to spend time with his cars. His fondest wish is to take dance classes, too, and maybe, just maybe, he'll potty train for them just like his sister did. The important thing to me is that all three of my children are happy. I believe that letting them find their own path in life will help them do that, and that having as many opportunities to try out different things is part of that. If one son ends up a dancer, another a hair stylist, and my daughter ends up in professional sports, then I'm happy as long as they are, and I'm also secure in the knowledge that I've given them all the tools they need to pursue anything outside the arbitrary limits set by associating gender with much of anything. |
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