Terror on Video: Worst of Horror & Exploitation Film {part 3}

Nov 20 '04    Write an essay on this topic.


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Terror on Video: Worst of Horror & Exploitation Films {p.2}
{**note**}; just because some particular video made this list, doesnt mean that some dont have at least a few 'entertaining' charms to them...they just dont have as much charm as the others >>>

v}
Title: Zombie Lake
AKA: "Le Lac des Morts Vivants", "Zombies Lake"
Director: "J.A Lazer" {Jean Rollin}
Cast: Howard Vernon, Anouchka, Nadine Pascal, Antonio Mayans, Pierre-Marie Escourrou, Burt Altman

synopsis: Hilariously awful film, featuring more nazi-zombies brought to you by hack euro-distribution company "Eurocine" {the team responsible for "Oasis of the Zombies", "The Invisible Dead", etc, etc}; green-skinned nazi-zombies arise from a nearby lake {a possible nod to 1977's "Shock Waves"?} to take revenge on a french-village for the sneaky ambush-attack conducted by french-resistance fighters back in WWII; warnings about "the lake being haunted by ghosts" fall on deaf ears, as scantily-clad after scantily-clad skinny-dipper {and in one jaw-dropping scene, a VW full of women-volleyball players!} converge down and around the lake, only to be pulled under the depths of the {swimming pool stand-in} titular lake; it goes without saying {as far as being a Eurocine production after all} that you shall encounter extremely horrible dubbing throughout, as well as a glaring continuity error envolving a girl born from a nazi-father {during WWII}, and is only about 12yrs old when the presenet-action takes place {1980!?}; maybe the zombie lake doubles-in as a fountain of youth as well!

w}
Title: Devilfish
AKA: "Monster Shark", "Shark rosso nell'Oceano", "Devouring Waves"
Director: "John Old Jr." {Lamberto Bava}
Cast: Michael Sopkiw, Valentine Monnier, John Garko, William Berger

synopsis: Although I wouldnt necessarily call this one Lamberto Bava's "worst" overall film {since its far more entertaining than the yawn-fest known as Demons III; The Ogre}, but reflecting on the amateur-night production and rank-scripting, its probably his most poorly made feature of all time; A gigantic, devilish mutation-experiment...or is it simply a surving prehistoric-beast, has been terrorizing and making sea-burgers out of townsfolk surrounding a small costal community {sounds very much like another certain film I know about...} Michael Sopkiw {"After the Fall of New York"; "Massacre in Dinosaur Valley"} is the only actor who seems to be actually enjoying himself on set, as everyone else trogs along with a heavy look of embaressment on their faces...and with good reason! An eye-raising special note should be given towards the fact that no less than Sergio Martino, Lamberto Bava, Luigi Cozzi, Dardano Sacchetti AND Bruno Mattei were ALL involved behind this project and this was the best that they could produce{!)...well, I suppose it isnt THAT surprising, given the uniquely diverse filmographies that each of those names sports

x}
Title: Frankensteins Castle of Freaks
AKA: "Terror", "Terror Castle", "House of Freaks"
Director: Ramiro Oliveros
Cast: Rossano Brazzi, Edmund Purdom, Gordon Mitchell, Xiro Papas, Luciano Pigozzi, Salvatore Baccaro, Loren Ewig

synopsis: why get high on drugs when you can simulate the effects by simply slipping this flamboyant bad-boy into your vcr; "Count Frankenstein"{!?} seeks to transplant a fresh-brain into the dormant body of a gigantic prehistoric-man {whom has the largest unibrow in history}, things are looking up for the Count, until one day he kicks his necrophile-midget servant out of the castle for snooping around the lab, after which said servant-midget makes a pact with a prehistoric neanderthal named 'Ook" {Salvatore Baccaro - whom played the omninous hairy-mutation in Luigi Batzella's "The Beast in Heat" aka. "SS Hell Camp", whom is credited here as one "Boris Lugosi"!} and swears vengeance upon castle frankenstein. being an Italian horror-feature distributed stateside by both schlock-auteur Harry Novak and Terry Levene's 'Aquarius Releasing Inc.'it doesnt take a rocket-scientist to figure out what you are getting by picking up this dastardly title...Mary Shelly is probably doing backflips in her grave!
{oh, and "Frankensteins Castle of Freaks" also has one of the choicest, bad line-exchanges of all time}
{woman one}; "Look at this cavern, its like another world"
{women two}; "...or a planet" {what!?}

y}
Title: Night of the Zombies {aka; "Gamma 693"}
AKA: "Night of the Zombies II"
Director: Joel M. Reed
Cast: Jamie Gillis, Samanth Grey, Ryan Hillard

synopsis: while nazi-zombie films such as Jesus Franco's "Oasis of the Zombies" or Jean Rollin's "Zombie Lake" are by nature horrible films, they still do have few crowd-pleasing moments of ineptness {laughter is of course the best medicine of all!} However, Joel M. Reed's "Night of the Zombies" has NO crowd-pleasing moments at all; in fact, its just plain inept...period. Not to be confused with Bruno Mattei's "Night of the Zombies" {aka. "Hell of the Living Dead}, which despite being a hunk of schlock in its own right, is VASTLY superior over this murky dog-of-a-film, which {despite attempting to pass itself off on some copies as a sequel to Mattei's film, AND despite being directed by the very man who gave us the entertaining "Bloodsucking Freaks"} has very little zombie-action..hell, any good action at all; the plot? adult-film actor Jamie Gillis is sent to investigate strange stories circling about a community nearby the Bavarian Alps., it seems a toxic-chemical developed during World War II was let loose by accident during a battle within the aforementioned area, however rather than killing the American and German troops, it instead kept them alive and eternally youthful looking up into present-day...but there is a catch...you see they must eat flesh {of the human kind no less} in order to maintain their younger physique, or else they rot away into what TRUE zombies should look like. Admittedly, its an interesting premise, yet its done sooo damn poorly it can cause tears, not to mention the idiotic Monty Pythonesque subplot concerning the American and German "zombies" actually becoming friends and engaging in mock "war-games" amidst the Alps{!} One of the worst movies Ive ever seen in my life {and honestly, coming from me that says everything}

z}
Title{s}: The nazisploitation sub-genre-offenders >>
* Ilsa; She-wolf of the SS
Director: Don Edmonds
Cast: Dyanne Thorne, George "Buck" Flower

* SS Experiment Camp
AKA: "SS Experiment Lover Camp", "Captive Women 2", "Lager SSadis Kastrat Kommandantur"
Director: Sergio Garrone
Cast: Giorgio Cerrioni, Paola Corazzi, Serafino Profumo

* Helltrain
AKA: "Pleasure train for Hitler", "Train special pour SS"
Director: Alain Payet
Cast: Frank Brana,

* Fraulein Devil
AKA: "Elsa; Fraulein SS", "Captive Women IV"
Director: Patrice Rohm
Cast: Malissa Longo, Oliver Mathot

{overall} synopsis: BORING BORING BORING BORING BORING; If one wished to induce a brief, temporary coma upon themselves then the way to do so is by snatching up any of the "nazisploitation" sub-genre titles and inserting them into your vcr; even though "Ilsa She-Wolf of the SS" has built a faily strong cult-following over the years and is regarded as the best of this subgenre, its still a great task to try and sit through the darn thing...

It pretty much goes without saying that there are HORDES UPON HORDES of other "notable" cinematic-trash epics, which may also be experienced at ones leisure {that is of course, if you feel up to taking such a 'punishing' crash course in terror} ***
Below is a quick, fly-by-night rundown of entertaining-waste {some of which you may, or may not have experienced before or already...}
{Avoid these if grade-Z films give you nightmares...hold onto your socks if you dare...}

a} Penetentiary II >>
{dir; Jamaa Fanaka, cast; Leon Issac Kennedy, Mr.T}
b} Auditions >>
{dir;Harry Hurwitz, cast; Cory Brandon, Linnea Quigley}
c} Alien Prey >>
{dir; Norman J. Warren, cast; Barry Stokes}
d} Shriek of the Mutilated >>
{dir; Michael Findlay, cast; Allen Brock, Jennifer Stock}
e} Female Trouble >>
{dir; John Waters, cast; Devine, Edith Massey}
f} Cannibal Ferox >>
{dir; Umberto Lenzi, cast; John Morghen, Lorraine de Selle}
g} Eaten Alive {aka; "Mangiati Vivi!"} >>
{dir; Umberto Lenzi, cast; Robert Kerman, Ivan Rassimov}
h} Eerie Midnight Horror Show >>
{dir; Mario Gariazzo, cast; Ivan Rassimov, Gabriele Tinti}
i} Eaten Alive {aka; "Death Trap"} >>
{dir; Tobe Hooper, cast; Neville Brand, Stuart Whitman}
j} Eyeball >>
{dir; Umberto Lenzi, cast; John Richardson, Silvia Solar}
k} Ghosthouse >>
{dir; Umberto Lenzi, cast; Bob Champagne, Donald O'Brien}
l} Dont Go in the Woods...Alone! {aka; "The Forest II"}>>
{dir; James Bryan, cast; }
m} California Axe Massacre {aka; "AXE"} >>
{dir; Frederick R. Freidel, cast;}
n} The Tormentor {aka; "Death Carries a Cane"} >>
{dir; Maurizio Pradeaux, cast; Susan Scott,Robert Hoffman}
o} Oasis of the Zombies >>
{dir; "A.M Frank" Jesus Franco, cast; Eduardo Fajardo}
p} Emanuelle and the Last Cannibals >>
{dir; Joe D'Amato, cast; Laura Gemser, Donald O'Brien}
q} Emanuelle in America {aka; "Brutal Nights"} >>
{dir; Joe D'Amato, cast; Laura Gemser, Gabriele Tinti}
r} The Toolbox Murders >>
{dir; Dennis Donnelly, cast; Cameron Mitchell}
s} The Barbarian Master >>
{dir; "Michael E. Lemick" Michele Massimo Tarantini}
t} The Beast {aka; "Equinox"} >>
{dir; Jack Woods, cast;}
u} Blood Cult >>
{dir; Christopher Lewis, cast; James Vance, Charles Ellis}
v} Zombie Flesheater {aka; "Horror of the Zombies"} >>
{dir; Amando deOssorio, cast; Jack Taylor}
w} Pieces {aka; Mil Gritos Tienne la Noche} >>
{dir; Juan Piquer Simon, cast; Christopher George, Paul Smith, Lynda Day, Edmund Purdom, Ian Sera, Jack Taylor}
x} Burial Ground {aka; "The Nights of Terror"} >>
{dir; Andrea Bianchi, cast; Karin Well, Peter Bark}
y} Slaughter High {aka; "April Fools Day"}>>
{dir; George Dugdale, cast; Simon Scuddamore}
z} Night of the Demon >>
{dir; James C. Wasson, cast; Joy Allen, Bob Collins}
a.2} Dont Look in the Basement >>
{dir; S.F Brownrigg}
b.2} Terror at Tenkiller >>
{dir; Ken Myer, cast; Dale Buckmaster, Stacy Logan}
c.2} Frankenstein 80' {aka; "Mosaic"} >>
{dir; Mario Mancini, cast; John Richardson, Xiro Papas}
d.2} XTRO >>
{dir; Harry Davenport}
e.2} Boardinghouse {aka; "Housegeist"} >>
{dir; Johnn Wintergate, cast; Kalassu, Joel Riordan}
f.2} Nailgun Massacre >>
{dir; Bill Leslie & Terry Lofton, cast; Rocky Patterson}
g.2} Manhattan Baby >>
{dir; Lucio Fulci, cast; Christopher Connelly}
h.2} Horror Rises from the Tomb >>
{dir; Carlos Aured, cast; Paul Naschy, Helga Line}
i.2} The Devil Walks at Midnight >>
{dir; Jean Brismee, cast; Erika Blanc, Ivana Novak}
j.2} The Mutilator >>
{dir; Buddy Cooper, cast; Matt Mitler, Bill Hitchcock}
k.2} The Other Hell >>
{dir; "Stefan Oblowsky" Bruno Mattei, cast; Franca Stoppi}
l.2} Violence in a Womens Prison >>
{dir; "Vincent Dawn" Bruno Mattei, cast; Laura Gemser}
m.2} Womens Prison Massacre >>
{dir; "Gilbert Roussel" Bruno Mattei, cast; Laura Gemser}
n.2} RATS {aka; Rats Night of Terror}>>
{dir; "Vincent Dawn" Bruno Mattei, cast; Alex Mc Bride}
o.2} Zombi 3 >>
{dir; Lucio Fulci, cast; Alex Mc Bride, Richard Raymond}
p.2} After Death {aka; "Zombi 4"} >>
{dir; Claudio Fragasso, cast; Jeff Stryker, Candice Daly}
q.2} Monster Dog >>
{dir; "Clyde Anderson" Claudio Fragasso, cast;Alice Cooper}
r.2} Killing Birds {aka; "Killing Birds Raptors"} >>
{dir; Joe D'Amato, cast; Laura Wendel, Robert Vaughn}
s.2} 1990: The Bronx Warriors >>
{dir; Enzo g. Castellari, cast; Mark Gregory, Fred Williamson, George Eastman, Vic Morrow}
t.2} Daddys Deadly Darling {aka; "PIGS"} >>
{dir; Marc Lawrence, cast; Marc Lawrence, Jesse Vint}
u.2} Possession of Nurse Sherri {aka; "Nurse Sherri"} >>
{dir; Al Adamson, cast; Marilyn Joi, Jill Jacobson}


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cdoggx
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