~One Year Ago~Nov 20 '04 Write an essay on this topic.
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..... even now, one year later I lie awake at nights I’m prevented from sleeping due to my caffeine addiction Prevented from escaping into obscure dreams until the sun rises, or even later still My head loaded with thoughts only lonely people would have I wish I could call you up, at this moment At three a.m. and cry Tell you all the things haunting me in the middle of the night after an overdose of hurt and sugar Tell you all the feelings trapped inside me The words I am too paralyzed to express in real life And then you’d do the same as the quiet privacy of the evening allows you to confess all of yourself to me It would be sappy and sentimental like all those cheap sitcoms where friends will always have the time to bond .... screw that..... I wish I could just reach over and touch you as your head rests on the other pillow I’d want to wake up every morning And see you there Instead of wanting to stay in bed to shut myself out when everybody else is already alive and looking ahead to the future I’d see your face touch your cheeks toy with the strands of hair It’s not a gorgeous face it’s not perfect hair but it’s the kind of hair I’d like to run my fingers through every morning and it’s the sort of face I’d never want to miss Especially when it’s happy ... then it glows..... We’d just lounge around the bed make love, get naughty laugh talk sleep whatever .... damn, I’m still not asleep yet..... This was supposed to be a loving song to the girl I met one year ago The one who laughs easily Whose voice Sardonic, affectionate, girlishly fragile is as multi faceted as her personality Who gives off an aura of sweetness of affection and understanding who draws people to her just by entering a room Instead of being the song about a wanderer who says too much, who embraces far too much The effects are evident by the reddening strain across her cheeks The occasional melancholy along her mouth she compensates for this by straying from place to place from person to person she must hurt herself while she becomes doomed to make the choice to hurt the ones she leaves behind Or is this just what I want to believe so I can justify the facts of my bitterness my loneliness my growing older my soul as it grows ever more distant from everyone I know even from you the one I used to love the one I thought I loved the one I thought loved me one year ago......  |
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