~One Year Ago~
Nov 20 '04
The Bottom Line ----------------------------------------------------------------
..... even now,
one year later
I lie awake at nights
I’m prevented from sleeping
due to my caffeine addiction
Prevented from escaping into obscure dreams
until the sun rises, or even later still
My head loaded
with thoughts only lonely people would have
I wish I could call you up, at this moment
At three a.m.
and cry
Tell you all the things haunting me in the middle of the night
after an overdose of hurt and sugar
Tell you all the feelings trapped inside me
The words I am too paralyzed to express in real life
And then you’d do the same
as the quiet privacy of the evening allows you
to confess all of yourself to me
It would be sappy and sentimental like all those cheap sitcoms
where friends will always have the time to bond
.... screw that.....
I wish I could just reach over and touch you
as your head rests on the other pillow
I’d want to wake up every morning
And see you there
Instead of wanting to stay in bed to shut myself out
when everybody else is already alive and looking ahead to the future
I’d see your face
touch your cheeks
toy with the strands of hair
It’s not a gorgeous face
it’s not perfect hair
but it’s the kind of hair I’d like to run my fingers through every morning
and it’s the sort of face I’d never want to miss
Especially when it’s happy
... then it glows.....
We’d just lounge around the bed
make love, get naughty
laugh
talk
sleep
whatever
.... damn, I’m still not asleep yet.....
This was supposed to be
a loving song
to the girl I met
one year ago
The one
who laughs easily
Whose voice
Sardonic, affectionate, girlishly fragile
is as multi faceted as her personality
Who gives off an aura of sweetness
of affection and understanding
who draws people to her
just by entering a room
Instead of being the song
about a wanderer
who says too much,
who embraces far too much
The effects are evident
by the reddening strain across her cheeks
The occasional melancholy along her mouth
she compensates for this
by straying from place to place
from person to person
she must hurt herself
while she becomes doomed to make the choice
to hurt the ones she leaves behind
Or is this just what I want to believe
so I can justify the facts
of my bitterness
my loneliness
my growing older
my soul as it grows ever more distant
from everyone I know
even from you
the one I used to love
the one I thought I loved
the one I thought loved me
one year ago......
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Epinions.com ID:
DavidMac
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 - Top 500 |
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Member: David Macdonald
Location: Prince Edward Island
Reviews written: 612
Trusted by: 109 members
About Me:
Alice, a story in nine parts, posted on Sept 24, 2008 - http://www.epinions.com/content_5241348228
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