What do men really want in a woman?

Dec 13, 2004

The Bottom Line What do men really want in a woman? Or should I preface this with what *I* want.

I have been through numerous relationships, serious and casual, and I can honestly say that going out with many people has made me realize what I truly want out of a woman. Have you ever been on a date and thought to yourself 'did she just say what I think she just said?' or how about 'okay, this will be my last meal; dear God please let her end it quickly.' Yes, I think many of us have had this experience. I've also had dates in which the conversation was absolutely delightful and both of us were firing on all cylinders. Of course, I have been told that comparing a date with a combustion engine is slightly unromantic. But I digress, so what do men want from a woman? I will try to give my humble and modest assessment of what a man wants from a female. Since I do not have the collective unconscious of all men I will use my anecdotal stories to develop an idea of what I want from a woman.

Sometimes it's easier to start with what really turns me off. A woman needs to be comfortable in her skin and be approachable. I have noticed that the vibe you send off will attract the same vibe back. So if you're looking for a young hot stallion (undoubtedly I will magically appear next to you ;p) chances are you will attract that over. Just don't be incensed if the conversation is drier than a martini. So my first suggestion is try to be comfortable in your own right and don't put up a front. This of course is difficult because first dates (even the first month or two) of a relationship are always like a job interview. We send our best representatives on the first few dates; they present us in the best light. Of course, once the interview is over many people decide they have tenure in the relationship and let their true colors shine. So if any red flags jump out at you in these first encounters make sure to heed them!

What turns me on more than anything (no, not lingerie, although that's high on the list!) is a woman that knows how to respect a man. See, most men since day one are bombarded that they have to be a gentlemen, treat a lady right, respect her, and ultimately make like she was a princess. This is important, but would you treat any person like this? What I have noticed is that many ladies (excluding those special ladies that I will highlight in a minute) feel that it is their entitlement to all these gifts from men. This should not be the case. A woman that can respect a man wins numerous points in my book because they are reciprocating the same vibe that I am giving to them. A partnership is much more sexier, sensual, and passionate than a dictatorship.

A woman that is smart is very sexy. Can I say that again? A woman that is smart is very sexy. I cannot underscore that having a woman with a superior intellect is one of my deepest fetishes. In the few serious relationships that I have had, I noticed that intelligence has either drawn me in further or repelled me away. When I say smart I need to qualify what smart means. A woman that is smart can hold a conversation, has a good sense of humor (if she's laughing at my jokes she must laugh at anything), and can be serious when it is necessary. A woman that has these qualities will keep a man and keep him happy. And isn't that what a good relationship is about? Giving and receiving. Like a never-ending Christmas, a good relationship will bring countless gifts and wonderful surprises to you.

And finally, there must be an attraction. Without this the fire cannot be started. You can have the most elaborate battleship but without the fuel, you'll be going nowhere fast; and chances are if you're smart enough to jump ship you'll avoid a titanic finale too. This is only fair to both of you since a woman and a man does not want to be led on in any relationship. And attraction can be mental and physical; the mileage for each person will vary.

I hope that this provides some insight into what men want from women. I think if the perfect formula were out there people would be using it and not spending millions on dating sites, perfume, clothing, haircuts, et cetera. So in the interim, if you are a lady that meets some of the criteria that I have mentioned, send me an e-mail and we can begin the interview process. ;)

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