Can anything be worse than Meet the Spartans?
Written: Feb 11 '08
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Product Rating:
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Pros: None at all
Cons: Everything
The Bottom Line: One of the worst movies ever made, and it's barely even an hour long.
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| phungus's Full Review: Meet the Spartans |
Meet the Spartans is hardly even a real movie. For one, the actual movie part of this is only 66 minutes long. Yes, one hour and six minutes. The rest is an extremely long credit sequence with some dance numbers and such. This worthless waste of time is from the same guys (Jason Feinberg and Aaron Seltzer) who did the equally worthless Date Movie and Epic Movie.
This movie was meant to be a parody of 300, much like Epic Movie was meant to be a parody of The Chronicles of Narnia. While this movie does follow the basic storyline of 300, it throws in so many stupid things that it isnt funny. In fact, there is only one funny/clever part in the whole thing, and Ill tell you about that later.
Everything about this movie is a slap in the face of the audience. Theres blatant product placement every five or so minutes, including everything from Subway to a mock Budweiser commercial. You can see who paid for this movie to get made, and the people behind it have no problem rubbing the audiences face in it. The jokes, if you can call them that, are repeated time and again. There are even a couple of dance sequences that go on far longer than any reasonable person could tolerate.
I could break down all the stupid things that go on in this movie, but its simply not worth the effort to write it all down. I cant believe two people actually wrote this movie. I know that Hollywood is tough and actors need to work, but is it really so bad out there that this kind of junk can get made so easily? This movie has no entertainment value whatsoever.
The only thing that approaches cleverness in this movie is a jab at the way 300 was made. Theres a scene on the beach where a few soldiers are getting ready to fight the Spartans, and somebody asks about their army. Two guys then march in carrying a giant green screen, then the army suddenly appears on the screen. 300 was made using smaller sets with green screens in the background, so I thought that part was at least kind of cool.
Shame on Jason Feinberg and Aaron Seltzer for continuing to turn out this stuff. There was once a time where these kind of parody movies were actually funny, like with the Airplane or Hot Shots series, but now theyve turned into nothing but overly commercialized money makers that can be made for so cheap that theres no way they wont make money. There are so many talented filmmakers out there trying to get noticed while junk like this gets made. No wonder Internet piracy is so rampant. Movies like this arent even worth the time they take to download.
Please, for the love of all that is good in this world, stop going to see these movies. This thing has made millions so far, which puts it well into a nice profit. Profitable movies mean the people who make them get to make more. Do your part to make it stop! This is the last time I give one of these movies a chance.
Recommended:
No
Worst Part of this Film: Everything
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Epinions.com ID: phungus
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Member: William Fulks
Location: Biloxi, MS
Reviews written: 2418
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About Me: My short story, When Dragons Sleep, now on Amazon - visit http://www.wfulks.com for more info.
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