My Favourite And Not-So-Favourite Actors
Jan 18 '05
The Bottom Line My personal choices of the good, bad, and Hayden Christensen's of the acting world.
I have just about recovered from the most vicious bout of flu I’ve ever experienced – A truly nasty piece of work which left me with all the motivation of a suicidal lemming, so confined to either my bed or my sofa with countless mugs of Lemsip I have watched a staggering amount of daytime television, further zombified by endless ads for January furniture sales. I found myself drawn with a horrible mixture of fascination and revulsion to the evangelism channels, considered buying a leather jacket from QVC, realised Steve Irwin is a genius, got confused by the storylines of Eastenders by following it simultaneously on UK Gold and normal TV, discovered that televised darts is strangely addictive, and concluded that the worst movie ever made is Beneath Loch Ness. Drastic measures were, needless to say, called for.
I instructed my good woman to rent me a stack of the finest DVD’s money could buy and spent many happy hours plowing through them, probably clocking up more hours in front of the box in the space of a week than in the last 5 years. And, apropos of nothing in particular, began making lists in my head of my favourite films, favourite scenes, favourite musical scores, favourite special effects - You know the drill. There are so many lists out there defining the absolute top 100 best of everything now that it surely can’t be long before we see a "100 Greatest Lists of All Time" chart. But they are fun, though, for the most part. So here is a not-very-well thought out list of my ten favourite actors.
Now you may notice some glaring omissions here. This is because I am automatically exempting Al Pacino, Robert De Niro, Jack Nicholson, Marlon Brando, and Christopher Walken, because as we all know, they are the best actors who ever lived and we don't really need to debate that anymore. Nor am I claiming that the below actors are technically the best, simply that they are my personal favourites, and nor is this a countdown - They are in no particular order, as I find it hard to rate them, worst last. So...
James Woods
One of moviedom's great unsung heroes, Woods has never recieved the recognition he deserves as a brilliant, edgy character actor possessing one of the most unusual faces on the screen. Adept at playing nutters, and has never turned in a bad performance, even though he has appeared in some bad films. Due a Bill Murray-style renaissance in his advancing years, in my opinion.
Memorable Quote: "Long live the new flesh!" - Videodrome
Essential Viewing: Videodrome, Salvador.
Unessential Viewing: Contact
Anthony Hopkins
Quite apart from his unforgettable portrayal of everyone's favourite cannibal, Hopkins has always been a quietly impressive presence in many a great film. Think of his moral struggles in The Elephant Man, his restrained angst in The Remains Of The Day, or his cracking take on Nixon. It must also be said that he's appeared in some serious turkeys, too, such as Bad Company and Bram Stoker's Dracula, but he's never less than watchable. Let's hope he doesn't do another Lector film, though.
Memorable Quote: "I'm giving very serious thought to eating your wife" - Hannibal
Essential Viewing: The Silence Of The Lambs, The Elephant Man
Unessential Viewing: Freejack
Ed Harris
Perhaps the most dependably great actor working today. Has never been known to perform badly, and symbolises determination and intense integrity. As good as De Niro, and you wouldn't catch him making Meet The Parents. Also hates James Cameron after serious ructions on the set of The Abyss, so that's another fine reason to like the guy. Plus he's brilliant in Pollock.
Essential Viewing: The Abyss, Pollock
Unessential Viewing: The Rock
Bruce Campbell
He may never win an Oscar, but Bruce Campbell has more class, style and panache than you can shake a boomstick at. From humble beginnings in low-budget shock fest The Evil Dead, to his tour-de-force performance in Evil Dead 2 and his acclaimed turn as an aged Elvis in Bubba Ho-Tep, the man with the comic-book lantern jaw is simply a legend. Handy with a chainsaw, not a fan of the recently deceased. Groovy.
Memorable Quote: "OK you primitive screwheads, listen up." - Army Of Darkness
Essential Viewing: Evil Dead 2: Dead By Dawn, Army Of Darkness
Unessential Viewing: A 3 second cameo in Darkman
Julianne Moore
Red of hair, huge of talent, foxy of features, Julianne Moore is a class act in every way. A truly astonishing performance in Magnolia is her zenith, but there's also Far From Heaven, Boogie Nights and The Hours to support her claim to greatness. Does a mean English accent in The End Of The Affair, and looks fantastic naked, which is never a bad thing. Certain to continue to impress.
Memorable Quote: "You can suck my f*cking dick!" - Magnolia
Essential Viewing: Magnolia, Boogie Nights
Unessential Viewing: Body Of Evidence
Robert Shaw
Most famous as the unforgettable shark-hunting Quint in Jaws, Shaw dominated pretty much any movie he was allowed within scowling distance of, such as From Russia With Love and The Sting. A fearsome alcoholic, acclaimed novelist and physically imposing bruiser, his untimely death robbed the world of a huge talent. And there's no one handier to have around if you're having fish trouble.
Memorable Quote: "Y'all know me. Know how I earn a livin'." - Jaws
Essential Viewing: Jaws, The Sting
Unessential Viewing: The Deep
Cate Blanchett
Exploded onto the screen with her stunning portrayal of Elizabeth, and has consolidated her reputation as Hollywood's first female choice with superlative performances as Katherine Hepburn in The Aviator, Veronica Guerin in, er, Veronica Guerin, and Charlotte Gray in, er, Charlotte Gray. Also makes a convincing elf queen and possesses a strange ethereal beauty. Expected to have a cupboard full of Oscars in her old age.
Memorable Quote: "I have become a virgin" - Elizabeth
Essential Viewing: Elizabeth, The Aviator
Unessential Viewing: An Ideal Husband
Tommy Lee Jones
Like a fine wine, the sun-dried Texan grizzly just gets better with age. One of the most riveting actors of his generation, he's been a chilling Clay Shaw in JFK, a brilliantly sardonic US Marshal in The Fugitive, a world-weary trainer of killer marines in The Hunted and an alien-blasting secret agent in Men In Black. A man's man and the kind of actor guaranteed to up the quality of any film he's cast in ( except Blown Away ).
Memorable Quote: "Don't ever argue with the big dog, because the big dog is always right." - The Fugitive
Essential Viewing: JFK, The Fugitive
Unessential Viewing: Blown Away
Robert Carlyle
The "Scottish De Niro", they call him, and not without good reason. You know him as the truly psychopathic Begbie from Trainspotting, or as the ice-cold Renard in The World Is Not Enough, or strutting his funky stuff in The Full Monty. Even in a cameo role, he was the best thing in The Beach, and you're advised to see the touching Carla's Song, and his inept Scouse gangster in The 51st State. Intense and in-your-face.
Memorable Quote: "How the f*ck can it be armed robbery with a f*cking replica?" - Trainspotting
Essential Viewing: Trainspotting, Face
Unessential Viewing: Plunkett & Macleane
Frances McDormand
Known by anyone who loves movies as "the pregnant sheriff from Fargo", Joel Coen's better half has put in some barnstorming performances over the last twenty years or so, beginning with the highly underrated Blood Simple and continuing with memorable roles in Raising Arizona, Short Cuts, the excellent Palookaville and Almost Famous. And Marge Gunderson will forever be one of cinema's most original and human protagonists. Respect.
Memorable Quote: "I think I'm gonna barf... Well, that passed. Now I'm hungry again" - Fargo
Essential Viewing: Fargo, Blood Simple
Unessential Viewing: Crimewave
Not a bad list, I hope you'll agree, although I'm sure there are some I've forgotten to include who really should be on there, but these are the ones that spring readily to mind. And, just to even things up a tad:
Dishonorable Mentions ( A solemn reminder of the untalented )
Hugh Grant - A one trick pony if ever there was one, Hugh has managed to stretch his ever-so endearing bumbling floppy-haired Englishness into a decade-long career without ever acquiring more than three facial expressions or manner of delivery. Became briefly interesting when hilariously caught with hooker.
Madonna - Has been associated with more turkeys than your average poultry farmer. Singular inability to act has not deterred her desperate ambition, resulting in such glorious indignities as Body Of Evidence, The Next Best Thing and the notoriously noxious Swept Away. Should be legally stopped from acting. Overrated singer, too.
Ben Affleck - King Turkey. Responsible for Gigli, Jersey Girl, The Sum Of All Fears, Pearl Harbour, Paycheck, and undoubtedly many more to come. Unfeasibly smug demeanour has provoked general merriment at recent box-office flayings.
Hayden Christensen - Could well be worst actor of all time. Catastrophic casting in Attack Of The Clones looks to have scuppered any chance of critical acclaim for Star Wars prequels. Talent-free, untroubled by charisma, annoying voice, ability to emote missing presumed dead.
Winona Ryder- Early promise now sullied by endless stream of limp, lifeless performances. Alternative career in crime derailed by equally inept attempt at department store larceny.
Richard Gere - Face seemingly frozen in annoying wistful half-smile, popular with ladies of a certain age, unpopular with anyone with sense.
Lastly, anyone know What Happened To These Guys?
Michael Keaton - Genius of Beetlejuice and the best Batman by miles. Vanished in the nineties, now in overdue comeback in White Noise. He could have had it all...
Harrison Ford - Legend of the eighties who has spent too long making crap films like Sabrina, What Lies Beneath, Regarding Henry, Random Hearts and Six Days, Seven Nights. Will always be cool though.
Richard Dreyfuss - He never calls, he never writes...
Kevin Costner - One-time biggest star in Hollywood, then made Waterworld and the thrillingly titled The Postman. Result? Career assumes properties of balloon made of lead. Hopeful signs of life with last years excellent western Open Range.
Sylvester Stallone - Has performed David Copperfield-style vanishing act. Disturbing rumours persist of further Rambo and Rocky instalments.
So, that's about it, I think. I'm sure I will end up adding to these lists, as you do, when you're walking the dog and suddenly slap your head in disbelief at something you've missed, but for now I think my choices are pretty representative of my fluctuating tastes. Any thoughts on these filmic musings are welcome.
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Member: Steve
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